Radio KAOS
by Resurgent-class
Summary: Season 1 Story 5.1 Takes place during Season 1, between episodes #5 Now You See Him Now You Don't and #6 Washington 4, Indians 6. Maxwell Smart and Agent 99 hunt for KAOS' latest method of smuggling U.S Military secrets out of the country; a hidden shortwave radio station. [My first fan-fiction and hoping not my last. Please review so I can improve! Hope you like it.]
1. Chapter 1 Deli Dilemma

**Radio KAOS**

 **A Get Smart Fan Fiction**

 **By** **Resurgent** **-class**

 **Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN ANY GET SMART CHARACTERS**

 **CHAPTER 1 Delicatessen Dilemma**

As the sun shines gently down on Washington D.C, Maxwell Smart could not imagine a better day for tailing a KAOS courier; the glorious sunlight coupled with cool air, birds arcing about in flight in the dazzling blue sky in a display of pure freedom, a capital city vibrant with life and most of all—the KAOS agent who has absolutely no idea he was being tailed. Which to Max was a very important factor and great advantage to possess whenever possible when tailing someone. However, despite his keen grasp and mastery of this concept, Max failed to understand why the Lamont Cranston Awards for Shadowing continues to elude him.

As 86 relaxes at his table in the al fresco area of the café and sipped at his coffee, he keeps an eye on the apartment building across the street. A soft beeping comes from his Wrist Communicator T-37. Max produces a wire and ear piece from his suit jacket pocket, plugging it into the communicator and fitting the ear piece into his right ear before speaking into the wrist device.

"This is Maxwell Smart. Agent Eighty-Six here. Come in CONTROL."

As Max listens to the Chief's voice filtering through the ear piece he nods and replies.

"Nothing yet Chief. But don't' worry. I've been watching Krycek for a week and I am positive he's the KAOS courier. Once he makes a move, I'll know how and where he's delivering the secrets to—the where, I'm confident, is one of the five delicatessens we have uncovered, one of which is a KAOS front—Yes Chief, I have agents staked out at all five of them now.—Yes Chief. I'll be able to notify our agents ahead of time as to which one Krycek is headed to and they'll spot how he's delivering the secrets. Once we have confirmation, we'll move in and smash the KAOS smuggling ring ONCE and for all!"

Max listens for a few moments before continuing.

"Don't worry Chief. I'm not on my shoe, I'm using the T-37—Yes I know to people walking by I look like a guy talking to his watch…yes I know if I arouse suspicion I could set this operation back weeks. But I assure you Chief, with Maxwell Smart's KEEN insight into the human mind, I will be able to avoid any suspicions WHATSOEVER! You see, I've come to realize that sometimes the truth itself is the best cover story because the human mind often never expects it!"

Max stops as the young red haired waitress stops by to top up his coffee and she squints her large brown eyes at what he was doing. Looking up at her with the wrist communicator still raised, Max states nonchalantly,

"It's ok. I'm a secret agent and I'm talking with my Chief on my secret wrist communication device about a stakeout I'm on."

The waitress' large brown eyes becomes even larger as her jaw dropped and she bursts out yelling and screaming;

"A secret agent?! A secret agent?! Ohmygod! Ohmygod! Ohmygod! A secret agent?! Here?!—"

Max's eyes popped even larger than the hysterical waitress as his lips peeled back revealing his clenched teeth as he gestured desperately at her to be quiet, half getting out of his chair and looking about frantically at the other patrons who were all turning to look at them.

"—A secret agent?! Are we about to be attacked?! Are the Russians here?! Have the Vietcongs invaded us instead?! Is it the Chinese?! Are we being watched?! I have to tell Mack! Maaaaack! There's a secret agent hereeeeee! He says the Russians, Chinese and Vietcongs and all our enemies are gonna kill uuuuus! Get the money and ruuuuuuun….! Call your children! Call your wife!...NO! Forget your WIIIIIIFE!"

As the waitress runs off screaming back into the café, Max throws his hands up in dismay and slumps back down in his seat to talk again into his wrist communicator.

"Chief? Maxwell Smart's keen insight into the human mind has provided a CRUCIAL revelation.—Honesty is OVERrated."

Immediately Max squeezes his eyes shut and grimaced, yanking the earpiece out and holding it away from his ear as the Chief's irate curses and rants came filtering over it loud enough to be heard, resembling the screaming of a mad psychotic chipmunk.

Across the street, a man in a beige belted trench coat over a dark suit with sunglasses and a tan fedora emerged from the front entrance of the apartment building carrying a brown briefcase.

Without putting the earpiece back into his ear, Max cuts the Chief's rantings off, speaking into the communicator.

"Chief. I gadda go. Krycek is on the move."

Krycek walked swiftly down the side walk as Max tosses a few bills on the table and leaves. As the KAOS courier gets into his blue sedan parked just a few meters down the street, Max was already in his red 1965 Sunbeam Tiger two-seat roadster near the café. Within minutes, he was following the KAOS agent at a discreet distance. Krycek did not appear to be suspicious at all and 10 minutes later, Max was parked at a corner keeping watch and speaking again on the wrist communicator.

"All's going smooth Chief. Krycek doesn't suspect a thing...Right now? We're at 25 Oakmire street. Krycek is getting some coffee and doughnuts."

Even as he spoke, the KAOS agent paid the vendor at the doughnut stand and walked back to his car with a coffee in one hand and eating a jelly doughnut out of the other. Within seconds, Max was tailing the blue sedan again weaving through streets and intersections. As he pulls his Sunbeam Tiger to a stop about 3 cars behind his quarry a few minutes later as they stopped at a traffic light, Max speaks into the T-37 again.

"Eighty-Six to agents at all observation points, all observation points. Report in."

A slew of voices both male and female filtered over his ear piece one after another.

"Agent Fifty-Eight here at Jordan's Deli. Standing by."

"Fifty-One, McQueen's Deli. Standing by."

The next voice, modulated and soothing as silk on naked skin, glided through the ear piece deep into his ear canal before caressing his ear drum loosing none of its intoxicating quality to the technological barrier, caused Max to inexplicably tighten his grip on the steering wheel for reasons which he could not comprehend.

"Ninety-Nine at Benny's Delicatessen. Standing by Max."

"Agent Seventy-One at Chill's Chili and Deli. Standing by."

"Agent Forty-Five outside Desalvo's. Standing by."

"Alright agents. I'm still tailing Krycek, we're now at Kensington and Lamont." Max reported watching Krycek's sedan for any suspicious activity and trying to shake off the after effects of 99's voice. "I cannot as yet determine which of the five targets he's headed to but I'll let you all know the moment I find out. Remember, once he shows up, proceed to phase two of your observation. You have to get INTO the delicatessen you're observing and determine how he is passing the secrets over to the KAOS agents posing as the staff."

71's low voice sounded through the ear piece.

"Seventy-One to Eighty-Six. Is he carrying anything?"

"Just a brown briefcase. But since KAOS has likely converted the information into microfilm or microdot, he could hand it over in any object as small as a pack of cigarettes."

"Forty-Five to Eighty-Six—" 45's smooth yet crisp and measured feminine voice floated through the T-37's ear-piece "—is he still driving the blue sedan with the same license plate?"

"That's right Forty-Five." Max confirmed "Meaning he doesn't' suspect that I'm following him or that we're watching the deli, whichever it is he's headed to…ok, we're on the move again. If there's nothing else to report from your end, I'll update you when I have his destination."

"Seventy-One to Fifty-One. I'll need a grilled chicken on corn bread with lettuce, tomatoes, no cheese, just a sprinkle of jalapenos…"

"Seventy-ONE!" Max rolled his eyes as he steered to pass a pick-up truck to keep the blue sedan in view "WHAT are you doing?"

"Eeeeh…ordering lunch? It's that little ritual us humans like da engage in usually around twelve da one to prevent, I don't' know…STARVATION?!"

"I KNOW that!" Max stated irritably as he moved his car past a cab. "I mean we're all on a mission here and you're running surveillance on a delicatessen of your own! Just get your OWN lunch!"

"But Max! All Chill's Chili and Deli have are preserved MEATS! You KNOW I can't eat anything with nitrates ever since KAOS poisoned me three years ago while I was protecting the Swedish ambassador! I TOLD you da let me stake out McQueen's, they're one of only three deli's in the DC area that's gad nitrate free foods…"

"Alright! Alright!" Max gave up exasperated as he shifted in his seat from left to right trying to keep the KAOS courier's blue sedan in view. "Make your order! Make your order!"

"Ok just a sprinkle of jalapenos," 71 continued "some cucumbers and an earl-grey tea."

"I think McQueen only has Darjeeling." 51 offered

"Yeah that's good. Straight, no sugar!"

"Gaddit!"

"Fifty-Eight to Seventy-One. I'll take a foot long, whole wheat, country ham, imported Kulen salami and soppressata, heavy on the melted cheddar and don't be shy on the mustard, plus…"

"FIFTY-EIGHT! Do-you-mind?!" Max interjected switching gears and turning a corner. "I know YOU don't have any dietary restrictions! You have your OWN deli!"

"Not with imported, air-flown Kulen salami and soppressata I don't." 58 stated and continued. "Plus a potato salad, large cappuccino, triple shot with sugar."

"Gaddit."

"Fifty-Eight does Jordan's carry any smoked salmon?" came the next inquiry from 45 which made Max slap his forehead.

"Fraid' not Forty-Five. He's got gravlax and Mahi though."

"I don't' think so…oh dear! All Desalvo's got are imported Italian charcuterie."

"Forty-Five, Ninety-Nine here. Benny has imported tuna without mayo. Would that be ok?"

"Oh that'd be great Ninety-Nine! Uuuum…on rye with tomatoes and a black coffee."

"No problem. Max would you like anything?"

"I'm FINE!" Max snapped as he pushed down on the accelerator to pass a Buick and maintain a 4 car distance with Krycek.

"Fifty-One to Seventy-One. I'll take an extra-large Chill's chili with sourdough, a pack of chips and large coffee, milk and sugar."

"All they got left is the jumbo sized chili."

"Even better."

"Fifty-One!" came 45's exclamation "You HEARD what the doctor said about your cholesterol and blood pressure! Why don't you just get a grilled chicken sandwich right at McQueen or Ninety-Nine could get us some tuna on rye."

"Really? We're starting already?" came 51's tight reply while Max's eyes popped in disbelief as he pulled out from behind a car. "We're not even engaged and you're gonna tell me what I can or can't eat? Come on! Let me have my guilty pleasures!"

"And I'm WHAT exactly?!" 45 returned as Max lifted his butt off his seat to look past a tow truck to keep sight of the blue sedan "Also, uh—aren't you supposed da take comfort in food AFTER we've been married for like eight years with two or more kids and I go da waste because I'm killing myself CARING for your sorry ass?!"

"Oh so I'm a mistake?! Is that what you're saying?!"

"Fifty-Eight to Fifty-One and Forty-Five. Fifty-One, speaking with years of marriage and FOUR kids, I'm with Forty-Five on the comfort food. Wait fer' least FIVE years of marriage and TWO kids."

"What is the matter Fifty-One?!" 45 asked

"I just wanna eat what I wanna eat! Is that too much da ask?!"

"For god-sakes!" Max cried as he moved up past two more cars "KAOS is smuggling our military secrets to our enemies behind the iron curtain! Our nation's defenses are on the brink of being compromised! Freedom and liberty of the entire world hangs in the balance! Could you two save your personal issues for…"

"Just…just one minute Eighty-Six!" 45 insisted making Max roll his eyes and slam his head in frustration back into the headrest and instantly his eyes popped at the instant migraine within his skull and the stars in his vision and he slowly shook his head regretting his action. "Fifty-One is…is there a problem with us? If there is you need to talk to me about this. That's what being in a relationship means!"

"Fifty-One," 99's modulated flawless tone joined in "Forty-Five is a wonderful girl and I KNOW for a fact that she cares a great deal for you so please, you two need to work this…"

"Ninety-NINE! Don't' encourage them!" Max fumed turning the steering wheel in frustration to get out from behind a vehicle.

"This CANT' be about junk food Fifty-One." 45 continued gently "Talk to me! Isn't coming home to each other enough? Sitting down together in front of the TV? Watching Johnny Carson? Talking about who you spied on, where I placed the surveillance devices, which KAOS agent tried to kill us. Isn't that what both of us wanted as part of a normal life? Don't' you still want that?"

"I…I…I'm sorry Forty-Five." 51 finally admitted and Max placed his elbow on the window sill of his Sunbeam Tiger and propped his chin on his hand, shaking his head in dismay. "It's…of course that's what I want! But…but the very thing that brought us together is keeping us apart! I mean, I've seen you like FOUR times in the last two months! When you're in D.C, I'm a tour guide in a Bucharest museum! When I'M in D.C, you're a hairdresser in a Milan salon! When we happen to be in East Germany together, you're tailing a KAOS assassin in East Berlin while I'm watching a KAOS courier in Rostok! It..it's killing me Forty-Five!"

"Oh Fifty-One! I miss you too!" 45 promised

"And…and it's not like we both teach Sunday school! One moment I'm helping to bust a KAOS ruby smuggling ring, next moment…who KNOWS?! I could be DEAD, shot in the back of my head and fed to sharks, hopefully in that order, or captured and thrown into a cage with a mad gorilla or…or get a knife thrown into my back while dressed AS a gorilla! I never know if the last time I kissed you would BE the last time! I love you so much Forty-Five!"

"I love you too Fifty-One!" Forty-Five swore "It's the life we both chose, when we joined CONTROL. Yes, we never know when it'll be our last time together! That just means we should treasure every moment we do have together that much more and talk to each other when there's anything bothering us!"

"I will Forty-Five! I will!"

"Could you two wrap this up—PLEASE!" Max begged turning another corner just two cars behind Krycek.

"Fifty-One, get whatever you like Chill's Chili ok? But you have to promise me you'll cut down for the next few days, hit the gym when you get the chance and no skipping on your meds."

"I don't want the chili. I just want you ok? I know I'm no catch at my age with this bald head and increasingly huge waist but you chose me! And I will spend the rest of my life proving to you that you made the right choice! " Fifty-One said

"I KNOW I did Fifty-One!"

"And I promise, I'll stick to the meds."

"I'm SO glad you two worked it out!" Ninety-Nine gushed

"Thanks Ninety-Nine! And Fifty-One, especially, don't forget your blood pressure medication. ESPECIALLY your blood pressure medication, cause…you know."

"R…re…really? Can…can we do that…that dance with the…the fur and the satin and…and could you wear that…that red and white lace we both like?"

Max's eyes popped even as he presses a finger to his earpiece to ensure he catches every word while veering past a concrete mixer truck.

"Fifty-One! Ssssshhhh!" Forty-Five giggled "People are listening!"

"Oh NOW it bothers you!" Max exclaimed tossing his hands up.

"Fifty-Eight to Seventy-One. I changed my mind." Max grimaced and shook his head.

"Ax the foot long, whole wheat, country ham, imported Kulen salami and soppressata, heavy on the melted cheddar and mustard?" asked Seventy-One

"No. Now I want TWO of them WITH egg salad."

"Can we all get back to the task at hand of preserving the security of our Nation on the side of niceness and goodness against the forces of evil and badness?!" Max exclaimed "Can we all put aside our petty little relationship problems, bad marriages, growling stomachs and FOCUS on what is important?!"

"Absolutely Max!" Ninety-Nine said supportively.

"Yes…Yes!...We're all in!...Standing by and ready da enforce niceness with an iron hand!...We're with you Eighty-Six!" Came the chorus from the observation point agents.

"Good!" Max beamed proudly. "Now, Ninety-Nine!"

"Yes Max!"

"This is very important!"

"Right Max!"

"I'll take a half-pastrami, half-corned beef on rye, English mustard on the side, fruit-salad and large black coffee, extra sweet!"

The flow of traffic stopped again at a red light with Max's Sunbeam Tiger just three cars behind Krycek's sedan. As he watched, a dark green 4-door Citroën DS moved up past him and stopped smoothly on the blue sedan's left. Max sat back to wait for the light but almost immediately sat up, leaning forward towards his windscreen, eye's focused.

The driver's side window on the blue sedan was winded down and Krycek's brown briefcase slid out into a pair of eagerly waiting black gloved hands that reached out from the passenger side window of the Citroën DS. Both cars' windows were winded up just as swiftly and smoothly. The light changed to green and traffic started flowing again.

"Eighty-Six to all observation points and CONTROL!" Max spoke urgently as he stepped on the clutch and cruised again, keeping watch on the two vehicles. "It's a switch! It's a switch! KAOS is adopting tracking counter-measures. Krycek just passed his briefcase to a dark green Citroën four door sedan! Krycek is a decoy! I'm staying with the Citroën! All observation posts standby!"

Right at that moment, they reached a T-junction and Krycek went straight while the DS turned smoothly to the left. Max's Sunbeam Tiger took the turn to the left smoothly, keeping behind a few cars so as not to look suspicious. The DS cruised on for a few minutes taking a winding path through several side streets.

"Eighty-Six to CONTROL and observation posts!" Max spoke turning the steering wheel smoothly to the right as the DS made another turn. "We're on Nineteenth Street Southeast and moving into Massachusetts Avenue now. That means he's headed to either Jordan's or Desalvos. Fifty-Eight and Forty-Five, be on the lookout."

The dark green DS continued cruising along Massachusetts Avenue for a few minutes and passes Mount Vernon Square, continuing northwest.

"They're approaching Thomas Circle now." Max reported into the T-37 as he held the steering wheel in one hand. "Fifty-Eight, that means it's going to be Jordan's."

"Roger, Eighty-Six."

"The car is packed, four KAOS agents in total. That means whatever information Krycek passed to them today must be extremely valuable!" Max noted "So be careful Fifty-Eight and …"

Max stops and is left gaping as the DS's engine roared with a sudden surge of power as the driver stamped on the accelerator and the vehicle surges forward down the road. 86 barely has time to switch gears and step down on his own gas pedal before the DS reaches and intersection turns down the road to the left causing several vehicles to swerve and honk in protest. The Sunbeam Tiger weaves past several cars before it reaches the intersection and follows suit, wheels screeching on the road. Max catches sight of the DS several meters ahead speeding and dodging past other vehicles to increase the distance between them.

"Eighty-Six to all observation points and CONTROL. The Citroën has increased their speed and has cut into Fourteenth Street. Fifty-Eight you can relax and I'll let you all know…"

"CONTROL to Eight-Six! Max! This is the Chief!" In his office at CONTROL Headquarters, the Chief at his desk talks into his phone which is patched through to Max's communicator. "Fourteenth Street doesn't' lead ANYWHERE near any of the five delis we have under surveillance! Are you sure they haven't spotted you?!"

"Don't be ridiculous Chief!" Max stated confidently as he closed the distance between his Sunbeam Tiger and the DS, dodging past a brown station wagon. "My skills in tailing are unparalleled! There is no possibility! Absolutely no chance in the world that they could POSSIBLY be aware that I am following them!"

The two KAOS agents in the rear seats of the DS wearing belted trench coats and fedoras leaned out the windows facing backwards, each holding a Vigneron M2 submachine gun. The continuous roar of the weapons cut through the mundane noises of motor vehicular engines and horns. Bullets strafed the road surfaces cutting lines towards and past the Sunbeam Tiger. Max jerked the steering wheel left and right trying to dodge the automatic fire. Bullets strafed the bonnet of the Sunbeam kicking up a line of sparks off the bullet resistant chassis. The KAOS agent at the right side passenger seat tilted his blazing M2 and Max had to veer sharply to the left as 3 bullets slammed against the bullet proof windshield leaving scratches.

"Eight-Six to CONTROL!" Max spoke leaning in towards his wrist communicator "Would you believe—ALMOST no chance in the world they could possibly be aware that I'm…"

"Max! The operation is blown! All we can do now is at least stop them from getting away with the information!" the Chief exclaimed into the phone "I just received a report from both the CIA and Military Intelligence! There is a good chance that Krycek was delivering the schematics for Project Phalanx! You need to stop them!"

"Right Chief!" Max acknowledged veering sharply to the right again as the blazing M2s sent bullets cascading off the bonnet again just as the DS turned down a street to the right.

"This is the Chief to Agents Fifty-Eight and Forty-Five!" the Chief directed "Both of you are still the closest! Head to Eight-Six's location immediately and assist him! Stop those couriers! Seventy-One, Ninety-Nine and Fifty-One standby. I'm mobilizing more agents on this side now!"

Sitting at a diner across the street from Jordan's Deli, agent 58 acknowledged the Chief on his cigarette lighter communicator and runs immediately out to his car while agent 45 disguised as a flower vendor near Desalvo's, yanks her uniform cap off her compact tiny afro along with her apron and tosses them aside as she runs to her car, pulling on her orange trench coat over her light grey mini-dress.

The DS continues to race down 14th Street with the Sunbeam Tiger in pursuit. Both KAOS gunners reloaded their M2s smoothly and continue blazing away. Sparks flew as bullets impacted the Sunbeam's radiator grill and continue strafing off the bonnets leaving white scratches.

"Sometimes it just doesn't pay da wax in the morning!" Max thought as he dodges to the right to draw the fire from a Volkswagen.

"Oh Max! Please be careful!" Ninety-Nine's stricken voice came over 86's earpiece.

"Don't' worry Ninety-Nine!" Max assured shifting gears and cutting in front of a pickup truck and pressing the accelerator to get closer to the DS. "These KAOS agents are NO MATCH for the keen, razor edged reflexes of Maxwell SMART! There is NO CHANCE they can EVER shake me loose!"

The two vehicles roared past a side street, the M2s blazing endlessly. Instantly, a brown 4-door hardtop Buick Wildcat that had been parked there roared to life and surged onto the street and joined the pursuit behind the Sunbeam Tiger. Similarly dressed KAOS agents leaned out of the Wildcat's rear passenger windows with their own M2 submachine guns adding their death song.

"The old back-up-car-behind-your-pursuer trick however," Max said as 9mm NATO rounds hammered his Sunbeam Tiger's bumper "is another thing entirely!"

"Oh Max!" Ninety-Nine cried out into her charm bracelet communicator "Chief! Max needs help now! KAOS has him trapped!"

"Don't' worry Ninety-Nine!" the Chief responded "Fifty-Eight and Forty-Five are already en-route. I'm on my way as well!"

The three vehicles shot down 14th street with the DS and the Buick Wildcat's occupants blazing automatic gunfire at the Sunbeam Tiger in between. Max now could not dodge effectively without risking the submachine gun fire veering off into innocent bystanders. As they approached Park Road Northwest, a buildup in vehicles due to a red light caused the KAOS driver of the DS to veer sharply to the right onto the sidewalk of the Tivoli Theatre sending pedestrians scattering and tearing into the display windows of one of the shops sending glass exploding in all directions before it straightened its course. Max had no choice but to slam over the curb as well to maintain his pursuit and ended up demolishing a pillar before he could steer straight while the Buick Wildcat did the same.

The three vehicles roared down the sidewalk of the theatre bypassing the traffic jam but as the path was barely able to accommodate them, they ended up knocking over parking meters sending the devices flying into the air spilling coins. One uprooted parking meter crashed down onto a brown 1959 Daimler SP250 detachable hardtop, denting the hood and spilling change all over it.

The bored looking white haired man in his 60ties behind the wheel barely blinked as he said to his equally unmoved and bored wife next to him.

"Finally—the city is giving back to the people."

"I'll grab those on this side, you get the other." His grey haired wife next to him said as she opened her purse and reached out the window to get at the coins.

The DS in the lead kept charging down the sidewalk every slightest move of the steering wheel sent the side of the vehicle tearing away chunks of stucco and shattering store display windows. Max was not doing any better as his Sunbeam Tiger shattered the 4th store front window as he tried to keep his vehicle steady. The only positive note was that the narrow confines kept the KAOS agents in both vehicles trapped inside, unable to deploy their submachine guns.

This upside came to an end as they reached the corner and the DS roared out onto the side street again before shooting straight on down 14th Street past the cars at the traffic light along with the Sunbeam Tiger and Wildcat. This brought the gunners in both vehicles front and back out again, reloaded and blasting endlessly.

"Uh Chief." Max said as bullets hammered his bonnet, windshields and bumper "You might wanna tell the State Department da expect a large bill from the Tivoli Theatre."

"Max, the State Department doesn't know we EXIST!" came the Chief's exasperated reply

"Oh!" Max squinted as one of his headlights exploded under a barrage of NATO rounds. "Then maybe you should give LB a heads up."

Despite her concern for Max, 99 continued her surveillance on Benny's Delicatessen from the window of the rented apartment on the second floor across the street. Her hair of the week, was an elegant shoulder-length bob which curled gently at the ends with a fine soft curtain of bangs over her forehead.

They had been fortunate enough to find a unit in the exact right spot for their stakeout at this location sparing her the need for a disguise. Dressed in a brown collarless dress with bishop sleeves, a knee length pleated skirt and a buttoned on scarf at the shoulder, 99 sat at the bay window of the apartment looking through her binoculars while keeping an ear on the developments of the pursuit via her charm bracelet communicator.

Benny's Delicatessen occupied about 2-3 unit space at the corner of a 5 story commercial building. Various clothing, shoes and cafes also lined the ground floor units with offices of various business occupying the 2nd to 5th stories. A wide alley separated the Benny and the building from the next block.

As she listens to Max inquiring on the estimated help from 58 and 45, 99 focuses her binoculars at the storefront window of Benny's Delicatessen and she could already see 2 or 3 customers inside in office wear. Just the beginning of the approaching lunch crowd. Benny himself, a tall jovial, potbellied man in his late 50ties with cropped white hair was behind the long display counter which lined the left wall, making sandwiches and joking with his regular customers. He seemed to fancy himself a chef as he wore the double breasted white jacket of one in that profession, even complete with the tall, round, pleated and starched white hat. Over his chef's outfit, he wore a white apron with the word 'Benny's' in bold yellow and red across the front.

99 tensed as she heard 58 and 45 report that they were still a few minutes away and she ached to leave immediately to help him but knew it would be useless as it would take nearly half an hour to get to his location from where she was. She would have to trust 58 and 45…

Something caught her attention, interrupting her thoughts and she swiveled her binoculars up the street to the opposite corner of the large building where a familiar figure in beige belted trench coat, tan fedora and sunglasses was striding down the sidewalk still munching on a doughnut in one hand and sipping from a paper coffee cup in the other.

"Ninety-Nine to Max and Chief! Ninety-Nine to Max and Chief!" she spoke urgently into her charm bracelet communicator as she maintained line of sight on the quarry. "Something's wrong! Krycek is here! He's approaching Benny's!"

"What?! Are you sure?!" came the Chief's exclamation over the small sparrow shaped charm on the bracelet.

"Ninety-NINE! Would you for-GET about Krycek!" was Max's response as he stamped on the gas pedal and weaved the Sunbeam Tiger about as 9mm NATO rounds sparked a line across its hood adding onto the multitude of white scratches there. "He was the DECOY!"

"But Max if he was, why is he here?" 99 persisted

"He's probably getting LUNCH! Which, by the way, don't forget the spicy mustard for mine!" Max reminded as the Buick Wildcat closed in behind him and the endless roar of the KAOS agents' M2s pounded the Sunbeam Tiger's bulletproof convertible top and rear windshield with 9mm NATO rounds mercilessly.

"But Max, what if the KAOS men you're chasing now ARE the decoys?! It's too much of a coincidence!"

"Don't-be-ridiculous Ninety-Nine!" Max exclaimed as the DS veered sharply to the right past two lanes and slowed down so that the gunner at the left window got a better angle and sent a barrage of NATO rounds at the Sunbeam's front bumper and bullet-resistant tires and tearing loose bits and chunks of asphalt from the road as well. "If Krycek was still carrying the military secrets then why are these guys still trying so hard to kill me?! You think they'd risk riddling the whole of 14th street with bullets and endangering hundreds of innocent bystanders if they weren't carrying the package? I mean, KAOS may be filled with rotten, maniacal, ruthless, manipulative, vicious, crazed killers! But they're not unreasonable!"

"Max, I think Ninety-Nine could be right!" interrupted the Chief. "We've been watching Krycek for a week. It's possible he picked UP on it! The two cars attacking you could just be a diversion! Ninety-Nine!"

"Yes Chief!"

"Proceed to Phase 2! But be careful!"

"Right Chief!"

"Oooookay!" Max said shrugging as the DS pulled away again "Good thinking too Chief!"

"Thanks! We need to cover all grounds! We cannot let KAOS get Project Phalanx!" the Chief agreed

"Plus," Max added as he maneuvered behind the DS while dodging the Wildcat's fire, "I'm getting kinef' hungry and Forty-Five and myself ARE counting on Ninety-Nine da get us our lunch. After all, it's really a drag da get killed on an empty stomach…"

"Max! Would you focus?! "

"Don't worry Chief," Max assured switching gears again and narrowed the distance between him and the DS "I'll be able to cut them off in a few seconds and this new armor plating Professor Carleton invented will stop anything short of a bomb!"

The KAOS agent at the left rear passenger window of the DS put aside his submachine gun and pulled from his trench coat what appeared to be a green metal stick with a cylinder of equal length at one end. His gloved finger pulled out a ring at the side of the stick and he throws the device which arced through the air, spinning end over end towards the Sunbeam Tiger.

Max swerves sharply to the left and as he yanks the steering wheel back to bring himself back on course, a large patch of the road to his right where the Sunbeam Tiger would have been, exploded into a tower of black smoke, flames and flying bitumen.

"Max! What was that?!" demanded the Chief over the T-37

"Would you believe KAOS is helping to repave the streets for free?"

"Max!"

"Okay, then it might have been the RKG-3E Anti-Tank grenade the KAOS agent just threw."

"Max! You have to stop them now before they hurt any civilians!"

"Don't worry Chief—" Max assured

The KAOS agent pulled the pin on another RKG-3E and hurled it. They must have removed the drogue parachute in the grenades as none deployed to ensure the explosive device struck its target at a 90 degree angle. Instead the grenade arced through the air, spinning tip over tip towards the Sunbeam Tiger. Max yanks the steering wheel to the right turning the nose of the car and shooting over onto another lane as another patch of road erupted in a thunderous roar raining asphalt down on his car roof.

"—since they're using anti-tank grenades, there's only ONE thing that can save me and the innocent bystanders!"

"What's that?!"

"A tank for them to use it on."

Another RKG-3E came spinning towards him. Max jammed on the brakes and as the Sunbeam Tiger screeched to a stop, a section of road a few meters before the bumper exploded.

99 kept watch from inside the main entrance of the apartment building as Krycek entered the delicatessen. She then started across the street, her lavender trench coat with 4 buttons in twin columns snugly belted around her while her grey kidskin go-go boots clicked as she walked.

There were at least 4-5 customers busy shopping at the grocery section of the deli comprising of aisles and shelves of exotic, high quality imported meats occupying the entire right wall and more than half of the back wall. 3-4 persons in each were lined up at the long display counter parallel to the left side wall which also featured a large display window looking at the alley. Behind the display counter at the opposite end, at the corner of the back wall was a swinging door which likely led to the kitchen.

99 spotted Krycek in a queue served by Benny himself and the KAOS courier had just one more customer in front of him. She joined the other queue which was being served by Benny's employee, a tall, young fresh faced man in his mid-20ties with neatly trimmed short sand colored hair and a wiry build. 99 had heard Benny address him as Hank. The assistant was not as elaborately dressed as Benny, decked out in a simple white crew neck t-shirt with long loose sleeves and dark trousers but he still wore the uniform apron on top.

Krycek was just stuffing the last of his jelly doughnut into his mouth and sipping his coffee as he waited patiently. While 99 had two customers in front of her, apparently, the lady in front of Krycek had a large order of several sandwiches as well as produce from the grocery section allowing the CONTROL agent to reach the assistant first.

Hank's light blue iris' positively lit up when he saw her giving her a dazzling smile that was in every effect boyish, welcoming and joyous.

"Welcome to Benny's!" Hank greeted with his arms spread over the refrigerated display counter. "Culinary creations from the world at your dee-see doorstep!"

Despite the mission, 99 could not help but nod and smile sincerely back at the young man.

"Hank quit flirting with the young ladies and focus on the sandwiches!" Benny barked at him as he added up the bill for the lady he was serving.

Still maintaining his winning smile and crystal blue eyes at 99, Hank gritted through his grin without turning to Benny.

"I don't tell ya how da serve that model from the Chanel Boutique up the street you lemme serve this—intelligent, sophisticated, sublime creature before me, MY way!" Redirecting his attention at 99, Hank continued. "Please excuse Benny. He thinks he's the only one entitled to a life outside of this counter just because he owns the place and has a—" turns his head to Benny to his right "—MINOR—"turns back to 99 "hand in the recipes for the sandwiches. Now, what can I get you?"

It seemed to be some kind of in-joke for the two as Benny chortled happily as he received his payment from the laughing lady customer as well, instead of chastising his employee further.

99 laughed along, all the while watching Krycek in her peripheral vision as she spoke.

"You have a poet's charm! And you can help me with a few sandwiches please."

"Long as I hope—it's not for you alone." Hank nodded as he prepared his pad and pen.

Laughing softly, 99 listed out the requests she had been given earlier by her fellow agents as Krycek's turn came and he chose the fillings for his sandwich without preamble. As they were both being served, 99 noted through the display window behind the counter, a motorcyclist coming down the road who turned into the alley next to the deli. It had a large box on the back of the motorcycle with a logo on it for ' _Fresh Food Express Delivery'_. The motorcyclist rode his bike up the alley past the deli's display window, disappearing from view. 99 guessed it was a contractor that Benny used for home and office deliveries of his products. This was confirmed a few moments later when an intercom somewhere behind the counter transmitted the sound of a doorbell, likely from a back entrance somewhere in the alley to the deli.

"Yo Hank! Delivery guys' here!" Benny said, then to Krycek, "Okay, roast beef with salami, pickles and roast chicken. That'll be eleven-twenty. That all?"

"Only got two hands here! Let im' wait!" Hank grumbled as he assembled the smoked salmon sandwich.

"That's it, thanks." Krycek replied as he produced his wallet, finishing off his coffee and placing the cup on the display counter so he could extract the cash.

As Hank kept working and 99 observed covertly, Krycek paid for his purchase and took the paper bag it came in.

"Toss that for me will ya?" Krycek nodded at his coffee cup as he headed to the door.

"Okay, that'll be twenty-five eighty." Hank finished placing the last sandwich into the large paper bag and rolling it shut.

99 thanked the young man as she handed over the bills asking him to keep the change.

"Here you go." Hank handed over the large bag and with another dazzling smile added. "I'd give you a discount but Benny here'll take it out of my pay cheque—"

"You gat that right!" Benny said as checked the cash register.

"—but without any expectations—" Hank continued flawlessly as 99 took the bag of sandwiches. "You'll find your smoked salmon—unique."

"I can't wait." 99 smiled realizing she was blushing slightly.

"Have a great day!" Hank said waved with a parting smile as he headed to the door leading to the kitchen, sweeping up the empty coffee cup from the counter top as he did.

99 proceeded out the door and as expected, Krycek was no longer in sight. And when she was sure, Benny was busy with the next customer, she darted quickly down the alley past the side window of the delicatessen. As she walked towards the rear corner of the block, she reached into the sandwich bag and checked the wax paper binding her sandwich to find, written on it in pen on the underside, the words ' _Call Me if you like'_ with a telephone number. 99 sighed as she kept walking, for under normal circumstances, in a normal life, she would probably have done so.

Reaching the corner, she peered around it into a wide alley that ran down the back of the building. There were a number of back doors but in the nearest one over a 100 feet away which must belong to Benny's kitchen, the delivery motorbike was parked. Hank was standing at the door handing several bags of likely sandwiches and other produce to the rider who placed them carefully inside the box on the back of his bike.

Keeping herself hidden behind the corner but still observing, 99 speaks softly into her swallow shaped charm on her bracelet.

"Ninety-Nine to Chief and Eighty-Six. Ninety-Nine to Chief and Eight-Six, come in."

The DS, Sunbeam Tiger and Buick Wildcat continue racing down 14th street, the KAOS gunners in the vehicles front and aft, maintaining endless barrages of submachine gun fire at the vehicle caught in between them. Max swerved to avoid a station wagon as 99's modulated satiny voice again caressed his ear drum through the T-37 earpiece.

"Uh…Ninety-Nine! This is NOT a good time!"

"Max!" 99 whispered, watching Hank speaking to the delivery rider. "I just left Benny's. Krycek bought a sandwich and left…"

"Did he get the pastrami on rye?" Max asked as 9mm NATO rounds pounded the bonnet and windshield of his vehicle making him veer about to avoid the full barrage. "Cause…if he did, then we can be pretty sure he was really just getting his lunch cause' THAT is a great choice…"

"Max! Listen!" 99 exclaimed as loudly as she dared "I think Krycek handed over the package! And not only that! I think the deli is just another stage in the smuggling ring! There's…"

"Ninety-Nine would you stop!" Max sighed as another RKG-3E, spinning tip over tip came arcing through the air at his windshield. "Just a second…"

Max yanked the wheel and veered sharply to the right and this time, a section of the road exploded into a tower of black smoke and fire again just 5 feet from his rear bumper which tossed the Sunbeam Tiger's rear wheels off the surface for a few seconds.

As the Sunbeam Tiger slammed back down onto all four wheels and Max floored the accelerator again to continue his pursuit, bullets continuing to strike his vehicles from both ends. As thousands of asphalt fragments came raining down onto his car, he spoke again into his T-37.

"…as I was saying Ninety-Nine! Sometimes we can't underestimate the power of a great sandwich recipe and prime location! After all, Benny's is situated at a great place! And everyone, regardless of race, creed and allegiances, including KAOS agents are entitled to go where they think they can get the best bargain! So Ninety-Nine, just get our lunches and keep em warm while I wrap this up.—Right?—Ninety-Nine?"

In the alley, 99 had stopped breathing and froze the moment she felt the icy steel ring press into her the side of her neck on the left, just below her earlobe. She slowly cast her eyes to her left to see the 4 inch heavy barrel of the Smith & Wesson Model 28 with its muzzle against her neck. Beyond the barrel, she could clearly see the blued steel frame of the weapon and the .357 magnum, jacketed hollow-point bullets inside each of its chambers ready to be unleashed. The light brown walnut stock of the Model 28's square butt was distinctively visible between the slits of the long black patent leather gloved fingers gripping them.

But far more chilling was the emotionless, angular, hard face of the owner, framed by the now upturned collar of his belted beige trench coat, his low tan fedora covering his forehead and the sunglasses hiding his eyes. As 99 stayed completely still unable to reply to Max's nasal voice continuing to issue over the communicator, Krycek's other hand reached out and his long gloved fingers grasped her bracelet and she winced as he snapped it off before dropping it to the ground and stomping the heel of his shoe down on it, and grinding it.

"Ow!" Max exclaimed, his finger on his ear piece as he tried to maintain control of the steering wheel with one hand. "Ninety-Nine! You don't have to do THAT just because you're wrong! You really have a LOT to learn bout…hello? Ninety-Nine? Hello? How da you like that?! She hung UP!"

"Max!" the Chief's voice came over the T-37 "I think her communicator was just disabled! I'm on my way over to Benny's now! Fifty-Eight and Forty-Five! Get to Max and back him up! Max! Finish the KAOS men and GET to Benny's!"

"Right Chief!" Max acknowledged and gunned his engine closing the gap with the DS as the KAOS agents continued pouring submachine gun fire on him.

Both Hank and the delivery rider turned and glared as Krycek approached marching 99 along with one gloved hand holding the S&W M28 at her temple and the other gripping her left bicep.

Her hands raised and though expecting it, 99 was still stunned at how completely the boyish, charm disappeared from Hank's visage to be replaced with an icy, hard, merciless mask.

"Scheißen!" Hank cursed throwing up his hands.

"KONTLO ajent." Krycek's now accented and low announced "Gee nose. I zaspected I waz watched. Zo I zet a tlap for the other ajent in the car! I knew zhey would harve another ajent watching zhis place zo I came buck!"

"Vight! Vight!" Hank acknowledged and turned to the delivery rider. "Melden Sie dies dem KAOS-Hauptsitz. Gehen! Schnell!"

The delivery driver nodded, locked the bike's carrier box, jumped on and rode off down the alleyway sending trash flying in the air. Before he turned the corner, the two KAOS agents pushed 99 through the back door.

99 found herself immediately in the kitchen of the deli. The back door was at the left end of the southern wall and across the room was the northern wall which divided the kitchen from the service area of the deli out front. At the right end of the northern wall was the swinging door which she identified as the one leading out to the display counter in front.

"So I guess your name isn't really Hank?" 99 said conversationally as they marched her down an aisle between two long kitchen counters, one along the left wall.

Various types of hams, salami and bacon were heaped on the kitchen counters some wrapped others partially unwrapped for preparation.

"Eets Heinrich actually." the deli assistant said stopping as they reached the middle of the aisle.

99 breathed evenly as Krycek snatched the large bag of sandwiches which she still held in her raised right hand and throwing it onto the kitchen counter on their right before tearing her purse from under her left shoulder and tossed it to Heinrich who caught it even without looking.

Krycek yanked 99 by her left arm to force the small of her back against the kitchen counter on the right while his right gloved hand kept the S&W M28's barrel pressed to her left temple. Heinrich stood facing her, searching through her purse with absolute chilling boredom as he continued talking.

"Und Venny," Heinrich gestured at the door leading to the deli's customer area as he rummaged through her purse. "ees veally Baroyev."

"Look you might as well surrender now!" 99 declared. "You MUST be aware that CONTROL knows about your front and they'll be here any second!"

"Ja, ja." Heinrich nodded uncaringly as he kept searching her purse to produce her over-under double-barreled Derringer pistol as well as her identification billfold. Peering at it, he smirks and looks at her. "Avgent Neinty-Nein? Vhat? No veal name?"

99 lets her breath out slowly looking at the tiled floor without answering just as the door to the front area swings open and Benny or rather Baroyev comes in and storms in their direction.

"Heinrich! Wat tis' taking zo long?! Zare are regulor kostomers out…" he stops upon seeing 99 with her hands raised as well as the KAOS courier. He continues walking but throws up his arms cursing. "Aaarrrgh! Ад!—Krycek! Какого черта здесь' происходит?!"

"CONTLO avgent." Heinrich sighs waving 99's identification at his colleague.

"Я нашел, что она шпионила за вами всех в спину." Krycek added, his gloved gun hand with the S&W M28 unwavering at 99s temple. "Она знает о вашей операции здесь' И о доставке."

Baroyev groans at Krycek's revelation, slapping a big hand against his jowls.

"Aaaarrggh! И мы делали соооо много прибыли в этом капиталистическом предприятии!" grumbles the portly KAOS agent. "И теперь мы должны закрыться и двигаться!"

99's eyes was flicking back and forth from each KAOS agent during the exchange, taking in all that was said and chilled by their apparent indifference to the situation.

Heinrich, his brow furrowed, pondered seriously, left arm crossed over his chest with left hand cupping his other elbow while his right gestured at 99 with an open palm.

"Nachdem ich mich zurückgezogen habe, sollte ich ein Penthouse in der Schweiz kaufen? Oder eine Luxusyacht, um die französische Riviera zu segeln?"

99 squinted at the apparently unrelated matter Heinrich was going on about. Baroyev grimaced uncomprehendingly, staring at Heinrich while Krycek simply glanced over under his dark glasses, his expression unmoving as a statue. 99 continued to be perplexed as she watched Heinrich make a show of continuing his pondering for a moment with his hand still extended at her before looking up at both his fellow KAOS agents, saying.

"Ah! Not fun ees eet vhen you are zhe vun veing escluted! SPRICH englisch!"

Baroyev rolled his eyes and slapped the air in front of him in Heinrich's direction.

"Zhis flaant must be clozed." Krycek declared "Now, bevor KONTLO gets here."

"Da! Da!" Baroyev agreed "Heinrich! Ju giv zer korier Krycek's infomation?"

"Ja." Heinrich said lifting the empty coffee cup from the kitchen counter he was leaning against and as he turned it, 99 confirmed what she had suspected.

"Orite! We go! Krycek ju hep Heinrich pack!" Baroyev instructed

"Her?" Krycek asked "Tie her up? Kill her? No mattar wat, KONTLO noze about us."

99's blood ran cold and her breath caught in her throat as Baroyev shrugged his fat shoulders.

"Az you say. Det or alive, KONTLO knowz. Zo—Det! One lezz KONTLO ajent iz alwaz battar."

99 couldn't' stop herself from gasping as Krycek's gloved thumb locked back the hammer of the M28, producing the precision mechanical clicks that froze her blood. She squeezed her eyes shut, holding her breath sparing her final thoughts for Max, her mother and the Chief!

"Wat-tar you doing?!" Baroyev exclaimed causing 99 to open her eyes and breathe momentarily. "Zilenzer! I huv regular kostomers out zhere!"

"Vhat does eet matter? Ve are clozink for gut!" Heinrich exclaimed incredulously.

"Da and we dunt' want the politsiya here bevore we are gone! Alzo—I vant to get zhem on my mailing list!" Baroyev declared "Zoo you know how much money we huv made vrom this kapitalist venture alone?! Whan we zet up zum where else later, we can maintain zer kostomer base!—" Baroyev turns to 99 and spoke amicably "—wan has to plan vor wanz retirement. You understand."

99 shuddered as she heard Krycek hissed angrily.

"My zilenzer iz in my pocket. Wan ov you do it. Quickly!"

Heinrich with his arms still crossed, cocked his head to one side appraising 99 in a way that cocooned her entire spine in ice, again extends an open hand palm up towards her as he asked.

"Puttink aside zhe fact dat ve are enemees—duz she look like a Frau who vould ever go out vith me?"

"нет." Baroyev and Krycek chorused flatly.

"ZAT I undershtood." Heinrich nodded before shrugging again, lifting up both hands palms towards the air sighing. "Vine! I'll do eet. I'm vehind qvota anyvay. I havent' killed an armalikan intelligenz oparative zince dat NSA agent three veeks ago.—"

99's heart pounded with fear though at the same time she could not decide if she should be offended at their presumption of her nature or shocked at their absolute nonchalance about the whole matter. It became worse as Heinrich pulled from his back a Smith and Wesson model 10 revolver with a threaded 4 inch barrel devoid of a front sight and began screwing on a suppressor he took from his pocket, smirking sheepishly at her as he worked.

"—She vouldnt' go out vif me eizher."

"Right! Lats gez going! I deal wiz last kostomerz and cloz up flant. You two get zharted here!" Baroyev spoke happily as he headed for the door to the deli's customer area.

The cold muzzle of the S&W M28 remained pressed to 99's left temple as she watched Baroyev walk to the door and Heinrich turning the suppressor while he held the M10 at waist level before his midriff. He was still turning the suppressor when the swinging door closed behind Baroyev.

Before the door even closed entirely, 99 inhaled and her raised left hand lunged up with trained precision and clamped down on the S&W M28, her index finger jamming in between the cocked hammer and the frame as she yanked the weapon and gloved hand that held it, to the left away from her temple, at the same time turning to her left to face Krycek and her right fist exploded into his face. As his head bobbed back and forth, dark glasses flying off and blood spurting from his nose, 99 thrusted sideways with her right leg at waist level at Heinrich who was still blinking in shock as he tightened the suppressor on his revolver. 99's flat boot heel slammed first into his M10 before driving it with brass knuckle effect, backed by the power of her quadriceps and hamstring, into his solar plexus.

Heinrich's eyes popped, his mouth gaped, air rushing out as his lower back slammed into the counter behind him with a force that shook the entire length of it. As he doubled over and collapsed onto the kitchen floor in the fetal position on his left side, 99 turned back to Krycek, feeling the hammer of the M28 snapping continuously on her index finger as he pulled the trigger repeatedly as if trying to cut her finger off. She punched again with her right, maintaining her breathing as she moved. Even with blood pouring from his nose over his lips, Krycek's grey eyes remained cold and focused and her slashing arm ran into his left forearm block and his long glove fingered hand clamped onto her forearm like the taloned feet of a bird of prey.

99 did not stop but immediately spun her right arm counter-clockwise and Krycek's gloved hand was twisted into an angle incapable of maintaining the grip. Wrenching her arm free, 99 brought it sweeping back at shoulder level in a whistling knife hand strike that slammed into Krycek's neck right below the ear.

The light went out of his grey eyes and as his knees buckled and he sagged to the floor in an unconscious trench coated heap, 99 grabbed the Model 28 with both hands, freeing her bleeding index finger and rotated counter-clockwise, prying the revolver from Krycek's slipping gloved fingers, to face Heinrich on the floor. The weapon was heavier than any handgun she ever handled and she had to grip the square butt with both hands as she pointed it down. At that moment, Heinrich who had turned partially onto his back raised his silenced S&W Model 10 at her from the floor.

99 squeezed the trigger and the S&W M28 roared and kicked in her hands sending the .357 magnum JHP round smashing into Heinrich's chest, disintegrating his heart and shattering his spine just before it exited his back in a fountain of blood, bone fragments and spinal fluid before it continued into the floor. As Heinrich jerked and slumped lifeless, 99 spun levelling the Model 28 at the door to the deli's serving area just as Baroyev burst in responding to the shot with an S&W Model 15-2 revolver levelling at her and the sound of their guns was a singular roar.

The KAOS agents leaning out of the rear passenger seat windows of the DS kept the extended telescoping steel rod stocks of their Vigneron M2 submachine guns pressed to their shoulders and their gloved fingers jammed down on their weapons' triggers maintaining the continuous barrage of 9mm NATO rounds back at the pursuing Sunbeam Tiger. Max was beginning to have trouble seeing through the windshield which though bullet proof was beginning to sustain white scratches from the continuous ballistic onslaught. The Sunbeam's rear bumper, bullet resistant convertible roof and rear windshield was not doing well either as the KAOS gunners in the pursuing Buick Wildcat kept up their attack just as efficiently, closing in on him.

Max and the DS veered past a station wagon enabling the momentary change in angle for the KAOS gunners to blast the right side passenger window glass of the Sunbeam Tiger and practically scratched it to zero visibility. As Max straightened his course with the Wildcat Buick close behind, he spoke into his T-37 again.

"Fifty-Eight and Forty-Five! Where are you two?!"

58 yanked his steering wheel right and left as he bypassed a pickup truck on another street only to jam on the brakes as he was boxed in by a bus.

"Eighty-Six! The traffic is murder!" Fifty-Eight exclaimed into his own T-37, finger pressed to his earpiece.

"No, bullets from sub-MACHINE guns are murder!" Max exclaimed as he veered sharply to the right and shot past a bus to keep the DS in sight. "Like the ones that are HITTING ME!"

"Eighty-Six it's not much better on my side!" 45 exclaimed as she swerved, to the right turning into another street and began weaving in and out among the vehicles to bypass them. "It's almost gridlock here! Just hang on for a minute or two!"

Max spun the steering wheel to the left as another RKG-3E came arcing towards his hood, spinning end over end and a second later a column of black dust and fragments of asphalt rocketed into the air just behind him to his right. The shock wave nearly shook the Sunbeam Tiger out of control.

"I have a feeling these KAOS agents are in a HURRY!" Max exclaimed fighting for control of the car amidst the asphalt rain.

His grip on the steering wheel knuckle white, Max looked ahead to see them quickly nearing a left junction. Sparing a look in the rear view mirror at the pursing Buick Wildcat, Max stated.

"Fifty-Eight, Forty-Five! I'm making my move! Junction of 14th and Colms! I'm deploying Professor Carleton's Anti-Hand Grenade Mechanism!"

As the KAOS agent at the rear right passenger window kept firing with his M2, his colleague at the other passenger window pulls the pin on another RKG-3E grenade and sends it flying towards the rear at the nearing Sunbeam Tiger.

As the device spins tip over tip, arcing towards his windshield, Max presses a button on the armaments panel on the dashboard labelled " _Anti-Hand Grenade Mechanism_ ". Immediately, on the center of the Sunbeam Tiger's hood, a vertical rectangular panel slides aside laterally and from the recess under it, a silvery anthropomorphic robotic arm with a five fingered hand reaches out, its elbow joint pointed forward and palm facing up. Its upper arm and forearm each consisted of twin square steel struts with a circular rotor-hub like joint serving as an elbow.

As the spinning RKG-3E falls towards the Sunbeam Tiger, the robot hand reaches up, servos whining softly and catches the grenade by its handle.

"Good job!" Max says and presses an oval black button on the armaments panel labelled _"Smoke Screen"_.

Two small square panels on the Sunbeam Tiger's rear bumper slides apart each revealing a muzzle the size of an exhaust pipe cones of black smoke shoots out.

"Святые дымы!" The mustached KAOS agent driving the Buick Wildcat yelled out just before their vehicle was smothered in billowing black smoke turning their entire world black.

He swerved about trying to get clear of the smoke but Max matched his maneuvers keeping them blanketed in the billowing black cone.

"Now!" Max yelled

The robot hand tossed the RKG-3E into the hand, flipping it in the air before catching the handle again in an underhand grip before pulling back and snapping forward, hurling the device.

The RKG-3E shoots back at the DS like an arrow, its explosive cylinder head leading. The KAOS submachine gunners had just enough time to blink their comprehension of what was happening before the grenade smashes neatly through the rear windshield of the DS.

Instantly, a ball of fire immolated the entire interior of the DS and its four doors and windows blasts outwards while its roof went upwards all riding at the edges of the expanding fire ball from the RKG-3E's detonation. The burning and smoking remnant of the DS continued to move on fiery tires, slowing just as it reached the junction and Max floors the accelerator shooting the Sunbeam Tiger past the burning DS to swerve into the left turn of the junction.

The KAOS agents in the Wildcat Buick kept cursing at the billowing black cloud they were engulfed in while demanding whether the explosion was the CONTROL vehicle. Just then the black smoke cleared and they all yelled out seeing the now stationery flaming wreck of the DS ahead. The driver slammed on the brakes but it was too late. The Buick crashed into the rear of the wrecked Citroën DS, causing both vehicles to come to a stop right at the center of the junction. Steam shot out from under the bent hood of the Wildcat as vehicles began diverting around them to continue down 14th street.

"I TOLD you not to take 14th street!" a young woman in a black skirt suit in the back seat of a cab yelled at the driver as they pulled past the wrecked vehicles. "This is the SIXTH CONTROL and KAOS car chase here this month!"

"Lady nobody likes a back-seat driver okay!" the portly cab driver responded, lazily turning the steering wheel with one hand while his left arm was draped over the driver's side window.

Max pulled the Sunbeam Tiger in a U turn and headed back the way he came, dodging past the cars in the street that had stopped or slowed due to the pileup in the junction. He managed to get to the front and stopped right at the intersection, perpendicular to the wrecks less than 30 ft away, front bumper pointing towards the left side of the DS. On the other side of the main street was a row of luxury clothing shops and restaurants.

Unfortunately, all 4 of the KAOS agents in the Buick were not incapacitated though their vehicle was neutralized. Upon seeing their quarry, they immediately jumped out of their car, weapons in hand, the driver and the left side rear passenger KAOS agent firing their weapons first as they were on the side facing the Sunbeam Tiger seemingly without being affected by the extreme heat and smoke of the burning DS wreckage at the nose of their vehicle.

Max jumped out of his vehicle, pulling his 5 inch barreled Colt Official Police from his shoulder holster and crouching behind the car door for cover. 9mm NATO rounds from the KAOS agent's M2 submachine gun struck the right door window pane and the windshield along with bullets from the driver's Makarov PM as both of them tried to get to the other side of the Buick for cover. Max managed to fire twice hitting the front left tire of the Wildcat making the driver jump onto the hood and rolling over it to the other side. The other KAOS agent, M2 submachine gun blazing was moving sideways to the rear of the vehicle. He took a second to see where he was going and the stream of bullets from his M2 veered more to the Sunbeam Tiger's windshield giving Max the chance to snap a quickly aimed shot. The Colt Official Police's .38 Special hollow point slammed into the KAOS agent's chest knocking him back against the trunk of the Buick before dropping him lifeless to the street. But now, Max was forced to duck for cover as the other KAOS agents now out of the vehicle on the other side and effectively shielded began firing over the trunk, roof and hood. The KAOS agent who had been in the front passenger seat, mirrored aviator sunglasses shrouding his eyes beneath the brim of his fedora, held the solid wooden stock of a rifle like PPSh-41 submachine gun with a 71 round drum magazine to his shoulder, black patent leather gloved finger holding the trigger. The weapon's fluted barrel was steady as the muzzle flashed and roared continuously sending an endless barrage of 7.62 mm Tokarev rounds at the Sunbeam Tiger along with the remaining M2's 9mm NATO rounds.

Max kept his head down behind the scratched bullet proof window pane of the door and fired twice round the window edge. It did not deter the KAOS agents or their fire at all. Max ducked lower and yelled at the still extended robotic arm.

"It's just bullets! Do something!"

The robotic arm swivelled, palm facing the KAOS vehicle and the PPSh-41 wielding agent with the anthropomorphic device reflected in his mirrored aviator glasses focused his fire accordingly. Sparks burst out over the robotic limb, shaking it violently and the M2 gunner added his fire. The sparking arm turned its palm towards Max, waved with its metal hand and retracted back into its recess and the lid slid shut over it.

"Well thanks a LOT!" Max exclaimed ejecting the empty cartridges from the cylinder of his Colt Police Official onto the street and began reloading "So much for all that extra work oiling you three times a day!"

58 stops at a junction connecting to 14th street on the right realizing he could not get onto the main street as the traffic flow had stopped to a crawl. He gets out and runs to the intersection, looking back and forth and sees the wrecked KAOS vehicles down the street to his left about 200 yards away. Drawing his S&W Model 10-6 with a 4 inch heavy barrel, he runs down the sidewalk towards the conflict.

45 on another side street leading to 14th street gets to the intersection but faces the same dilemma as the vehicles on the main street had virtually stalled and some were u-turning to get away from the gun battle that she could hear from where she was. Jumping out of her car, she ran to the front to look and found the gun battle down the main street to her right about 100 yards away. She sees also 58 trying to get to it from the opposite direction but he was still far away. Max was pinned down as the KAOS agent's poured submachine gun and semi-automatic pistol fire at him.

Running back to her car, she grabbed the Beretta M12 with a 32 round magazine from the passenger seat and runs down the sidewalk towards the conflict. The sidewalks were almost empty now as pedestrians had ducked into the shops and restaurants for cover. 45 held the M12 at her side running at full speed past the vehicles on the street, the lower half of her belted trench coat flying apart exposing the ebony blur of her powerful thighs as she closed the distance between her and the conflict.

Max manages to fire twice but his shots end nowhere near their targets. The KAOS driver crouched at the front right wheel, turning to the right as he ejected the empty magazine from his Makarov. Unfortunately as he slapped home a new clip and released the slide, he looks up to see 58 running along the sidewalk towards them. He shouts to his compatriots as he fires in 58's direction. The bullet hits a shop window as 58 runs past it causing him to duck his head and two more shots hits the door of a perfume shop but he keeps running. Unfortunately, Mirrored Sunglasses turns in his direction as well, the running CONTROL agent sighted on his mirrored lenses. With the PPSh-41's stock still pressed to his shoulder, the massive muzzle flash of the weapon heralds an endless barrage of lethal 7.62mm Tokarevs. 58 had no choice but to dash for a door ahead of him as 7.62mm rounds strafed the sidewalk in a line towards him and he shoulders open the door just in time, diving into a dress shop, yelling for the occupants to get down. The large display window explodes into a thousand shards of glass as the shop girls dropped behind the counter and displays. 45 still running now less than 30 yards away, not wanting to risk being seen dashes out into the street and continues running around and past the slow moving vehicles.

As the remaining M2's shots slammed against his car, Max takes a chance to fire repeatedly at the two agent's shooting at 58. His shots struck the windshield and hood of the Buick making the driver turn back and began firing in his direction. Max had no choice but to duck back into the Sunbeam Tiger, breaking out the cylinder of the Colt Police Official and ejecting the cartridges onto the seat to reload. The KAOS agent with the M2 locks in a new magazine and dives into the back seat of the Buick, closes the left rear door and uses the window as a better vantage point to continue pouring fire across the street into the Sunbeam while the driver crouched next to the front right wheel and Mirrored Aviator Sunglasses standing behind him, both blasted endlessly down the street to their right with pistol and submachine gun, demolishing the clothing shop. Inside, 58 crawled over the carpeted floor as mannequins and dresses on them exploded continuously raining him with shards of wood, plastic and bits of fabric. He manages to get to a sales girl who squatted in a corner behind covering her brunette head against the falling debris. The destruction of the dress shop's front reflecting in his mirrored sunglasses, the KAOS agent shifts his PPSh-41 with its muzzle flashing endlessly, to send bullets deeper into the shop's interior. Risking being hit, 58 gets to a crouch and grabs her pulling her with him as they ran towards the more secure sales counter out of the angle of fire just as the mirror where the girl had been hiding next explodes under a barrage of Tokarev rounds.

45 ducks out from behind a slow moving van and dashes to get within safe range of the KAOS agents. She runs two to three car lengths, opening up the side folding metal stock and thumbing the selector switch to full-auto. As she was about to clear the traffic with the rear bumper of the Buick Wildcat just 15 feet away, a red 1964 Eldorado Biarritz Convertible with the top up attempted a U-turn cutting into her path and stops when it was completely sideways to her as it realizes it was too near a Volkswagen on its left effectively boxing her in. The KAOS agent in the Buick continued blasting with his M2 at the Sunbeam Tiger scratching the windshield so badly all visibility was obscured while Mirrored Sunglasses and the driver both their backs facing the rear of the Buick, maintain their barrage at the dress store 58 was hiding in.

Not wanting to waste time circling the vehicles or risk giving up her element of surprise with the KAOS agents currently distracted, 45 presses the stock of the M12 to her shoulder and grabs the fore-grip as she leaps up onto the Eldorado, her flat heeled ankle boots drumming the hood. She keeps low thrusting her long legs out before her to drop onto her right buttock. As she slides on her right hip across the hood using her momentum, her trench coat dragged back by the motion exposing her dark quadriceps and hamstrings all the way to the high hem of her mini dress, along with the triangle of white fabric just under it wedged between her adductor muscles, her index finger squeezes the trigger of the M12.

"Watch the paint lady!" the bespectacled, balding middle aged driver of the Eldorado yelled as the CONTROL agent slid across his car's hood.

Mirrored Sunglasses convulsed back arching and arms flying outwards along with the PPSh-41 submachine gun as the M12's 9mm Parabellum rounds shattered his back and blood fountained from the multiple exit wounds erupting through his chest. He topples forward and crashes down onto the driver who was crouched in front of him facing the same direction both hitting the street in a tangle of limbs just as 45's boots hits the asphalt and continued running, M12 still pressed to her shoulder and blazing.

45 holds the trigger of the Beretta M12 and at full run, with the stock kicking into her shoulder, swings her fire just a few millimeters to the left. 9mm Parabellum rounds rocketed into the rear windshield of the Buick which exploded and the KAOS agent inside convulsed with multiple star shaped explosions of blood erupting from exit wounds as 9mm rounds shattered his upper body along and tore the interior of the car to shreds. The flying cushion fragments and stuffing absorbed the spraying blood in mid-air before dropping onto the rear seat and floor of the Buick in soggy crimson patches.

The M12's bolt locks back just as 45 reaches the Buick's rear bumper and she immediately ducks into a crouch behind it, pressing the magazine release while pulling out another clip from her trench coat pocket while the driver, rolling Mirrored Sunglasses' body off him, grabs the fallen PPSh-41 and puts it to his shoulder, advancing towards the rear of the car, bent low and aiming at the Buick's rear.

"Forty-Five! Look out!" Max yells, now standing behind the open door of his car and his Colt Police Official flashes several times, aiming at the windows of the Buick hoping to hit the driver on the other side through them.

But the driver kept too low and moved too fast. 45 locks home the new clip and releases the bolt chambering a round and in the crouched position lifts the M12 to aim just as the driver turns at the rear of the car, muzzle of the PPSh-41 levelled down at her and 45 knew neither of them would live through this.

A single shot from another direction echoes through the air and the driver jerks as a welter of blood explodes from his right deltoid, causing his gloved hand to slide from the PPSh-41's grip and he sags down onto the seat of his pants on the road, the submachine gun clattering on the street next to him.

45 stands, M12 aimed at the driver who sits there holding his wounded arm. In her peripheral vision, she sees 58 running towards them, his S&W Model 10-6's muzzle smoking. She maintains her aim at the KAOS driver as she kicks the PPSh-41 away from him.

"It's over." 45 says to the enemy agent as 58 arrives and Max comes trotting over, pushing his Colt Police Official back into his shoulder holster.

The mustached KAOS driver, blood pouring over his black patent leather gloved fingers groans

"Что за день!" before promptly slumping completely onto his back on the street and continuing to groan.

"Alright Fifty-Eight! Call this in to CONTROL Central for a fire truck, an ambulance and an escort." Max instructed.

58 keyed handed Max a sheet of yellow paper before he holstered his S&W M10-6 to key his T-37 and put the earpiece in place. Upon Max's inquiry, 58 replied.

"It's your op. Bill for damages from the store I took cover in."

Max's eye's popped and jaw dropping, exclaimed as he looked at the document.

"Four THOUSAND dollars?!" With a sigh and grimace, 86 tried to reason it out. "Well, I guess they did have their store destroyed cause of us."

"This is Fifty-Eight to CONTROL Central. This is Fifty-Eight to CONTROL Central, come in CONTROL Central." 58 spoke into his wrist communicator and clarified for Max at the same time. "That's just for the dresses that got shot up. They'll be sending a separate bill for structural damages."

"FOUR THOUSAND dollars for DRESSES?!" Max's eyes returned to popping and his jaw to dropping.

"They'll have da get in line with the Tivoli." 45 sighed shaking her head keeping her M12 aimed at the groaning KAOS man but spoke more urgently over her shoulder at Max. "Shouldn't' you be checking on Ninety-Nine?"

Still scowling and grumbling at 58 and the bill, Max pulled the earpiece of his T-37 from his sleeve and put it to his ear.

"This is Eighty-Six to Chief. This is Eighty-Six to Chief. Come in Chief."

"This is the Chief." came the basso voice over the communicator earpiece.

"Chief! Max here. We have the situation under control. Seven KAOS agents are history and we have one captive for questioning."

"Alright. Good work to all of you." The Chief acknowledged.

"Chief! What about Ninety-Nine?" Max asked "Is she ok? Did you get to Benny's on time?"

"Yes Max—" the Chief replied into his own T-37 communicator from inside the kitchen of Benny's Delicatessen.

All around him a group of CONTROL agents were carefully searching the place. Four agents carried body bags containing Baroyev and Heinrich out the back door to the alley while another two led away a handcuffed Krycek with cotton wool stuffed up his nostrils. 99 sat on a chair near the southwestern door, her lavender trench coat draped across her lap and her left hand holding the right side of her ribcage while another agent sat with her bandaging her right index finger.

"—I'm speaking to you from Benny's now. Ninety-Nine is okay, some minor injuries but we'll be sending her to the CONTROL doctor soon as we can. Benny or Baroyev it seems, and his assistant are dead and we have Krycek. Our men are searching the deli as we speak and I have teams moving in on the other four locations and following up a lead that Ninety-Nine provided."

"That's great Chief. Could I talk to Ninety-Nine?"

"Sure, hold on." The Chief said walking over to 99 but a shout caught his attention.

"Hey what's fifteen paying customers gadda' do da get some service here?!"

The Chief saw the speaker, a short fat man with thick black framed glasses draped in an opalescent grey silk suit, custom tailored to hide his obesity standing at the northeastern door leading out to the front area of the delicatessen. Fuming at this unnecessary disruption to their search operation, the Chief quickly removed his wrist communicator and handed it with the earpiece to 99.

"Here, Ninety-Nine it's Max…"

99's face lit up taking the communicator as the Chief stalked over to the door to confront the meddlesome customer.

"Hello Max!" 99 greeted pressing the earpiece into her ear canal and holding the communicator to her lips.

"We've been waitin out here for two hours bud!" the fat man exclaimed at the approaching Chief.

"And we TOLD you two hours ago that this deli is closed!" the Chief growled "You and the other customers will need to get your lunch someplace else."

"Listen pal, this place sells the best pastrami on rye in D.C and Michelin would give it six stars if it had chairs, tables and table cloths…"

"Do you understand what is happening here?!" the Chief exclaimed "We are government agents and this deli is now the scene of a classified government investigation!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," the fat man flapped a fat hand at the Chief. "What you actually said is, 'YOU and your cronies are paid from every tax-dollar that the government collects, making ME—a hardworking American taxpayer—YOUR boss! So—back to what I was sayin—Michelin class pastrami on rye, fifteen of them…"

"Beansprouts on mine! My mom says I need da have them!" someone shouted from the counter area.

"Okay kid! Okay!" Fatman shouts over his shoulder "And the paperboy wants his with beansprouts, which kinef defeats the purpose of a pastrami on rye but he's not MY son."

Feeling a migraine he believed could only be triggered in the presence of 86 coming on, the Chief focused his eyes on Fatman with laser like intensity born of years of training, steely discipline and iron self-control.

"This establishment is closed for a government investigation. Now get out."

The Chief turned but Fatman's voice yanked at him like a lasso on a steer during round-up time.

"Not without our pastrami on rye, one with bean sprouts we're not."

Spinning back to face the taxpayer, the Chief stated flatly in a voice rimmed with unmovable authority.

"Leave this premises immediately, or I will have you and every adult out there in handcuffs and you will all spend the next ten months in a jail cell, without bail, waiting to be trialed for obstruction of a government investigation."

As the Chief finished his ultimatum and burned his gaze into the customer's chubby face, the Fatman grinned and chortled softly, dropping his head and shaking it slowly like a parent would when his child said something funny. The Chief was about to call his men when Fatman lifted his head, eyes still cast on the floor as he spoke.

"Yeeeeah—you can do that. But just so you know, me and seven of the adults out here are senior partners in the third largest law firm on the east coast and we're ALL golfing buddies with—" Fatman lifted one fat fist and counted off on his fingers as he spoke "—the attorney general, the Chief Justice and SIX justices of the U.S Supreme Court, the Secretary of Defense AND somebody you might know by the first names—L-B?—" Fatman paused cocking his head sideways and gazing dramatically up at the ceiling "—which reminds me. Me and my seven senior partner friends out there are supposed to be at a private dinner at the White House in two days with L-B and Claudia. Lyndon's been DYING to continue our discussion from our last dinner together just last week, about…um…what was it…"he flicked his fingers in the air pretending to have trouble recalling the issue. "…oh yeah! Covert government agencies, their excessive shadow budgets, ZERO accountability and actually just an American Gestapo…"

The Chief's eyes narrowed with predatory intensity, arms stiff at his sides knowing he would strike the man down if he moved now.

"…Yeah! Anyway—" Fatman seemingly snaps out of his reverie and looks jovially back at the Chief "—I'm sure L-B and Claudia will understand I missed their dinner because of said-covert American Gestapo, so you can go ahead and arrest us, cause frankly, I think you'd look GREAT in a janitor's uniform, sweeping up trash after hours at our offices."

The Fatman stands there beaming, one hand in his trouser pocket, waiting and the Chief, his razor gaze never leaving his opponent's smug visage ordered.

"Agent Thirty-Four!"

A dour faced agent in a dark suit and tie and fedora looks up from searching some counter cabinets and walks over.

"Yes Chief."

Tilting back his head, puffing his chest out and with absolute, unquestionable authority, the Chief orders.

"Fifteen pastrami on rye sandwiches, one with beansprouts."

"Right Chief." 34 nodded without expression and walked out past Fatman to the display counters.

"Thanks bub and keep up the good work!" Fatman said mock saluting the chief and walking off saying over his shoulder. "I might just tell Lyndon he's ALMOST not wasting money on the intelligence community!"

All the Chief could do was sighed, looking down at the floor, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose, feeling 60 years older.

"So you're SURE you're alright?!" Max's baritone nasal voice repeated over the ear piece.

"Yes Max, I'm fine." 99 assured, an irreversible smile lighting up her sublime visage at the sound of his voice "Just lacerations on my finger and probably a bruised rib or two from Baroyev's bullet. Thank god for the bullet proof panels in my trench coat."

"That's good! That's very good Ninety-Nine!" Max nodded eagerly

"For me. The coat has a hole in the outer lining now. It's a really nice coat." 99 mused

"Oh don't worry bout that, I'm sure Professor Carleton'll have a replacement for you just like it." Max assured.

"Max. So…you were worried about me?" 99 asked keeping her voice low and casting her face down to keep the other agents from hearing.

"Well of course Ninety-Nine!" Max exclaimed "Why, I was worried SICK when your call got cut off!"

"Really Max?!" 99 asked, her smile widening and eyes lighting up, throbbing pain in her ribs fading to a memory.

"Absolutely!" Max declared "Why if anything happened to you, I wouldn't' have been able to ask you something of the utmost importance!"

"You can ask me now Max!" 99 gushed

"Good because I cannot wait any longer!"

"Yes Max!"

"From the moment your call was cut off and I thought something might have happened to you, I had NOTHING but this one thought, this one singular all-consuming question in my mind that has been driving me insane!"

"Yes Max!"

"This is absolutely crucial!"

"Go ahead Max!" 99 nodded eagerly pushing the earpiece so hard into her ear it almost hurt

"Ninety-Nine—"

"Oh Max, I lov…"

"—did you get my half-pastrami, half-corned beef on rye, English mustard on the side, fruit-salad and large black coffee, extra sweet?"

99 sighed, smile turning upside down, grimacing as she stared ahead shaking her head in dismay—and oh yes, the pain was back.

*Thanks for reading everyone! The next three chapters are thankfully shorter.

Sorry for the questionable German and Russian dialogue. For non-German and Russian language speakers (myself included) here is a translation, courtesy of Google Translate. Readers who do speak the languages, do let me know in the reviews if the translations are seriously way off. If it's really bad, I'll cut down on the usage of non-English languages in future writings.

Heinrich upon seeing Krycek with a captured 99 in the alley:

"Scheißen!"

 _Shit! or crap!_

Heinrich to the KAOS delivery rider in the alley.

"Melden Sie dies dem KAOS-Hauptsitz. Gehen! Schnell!"

 _Report this to KAOS headquarters. Go! Fast!_

Baroyev, Krycek and Heinrich's conversations in the deli kitchen regarding 99's capture:

Baroyev: "Aaarrrgh! Ад!—Krycek! Какого черта здесь' происходит?!"

 _Aaarrrrgh! Hell! - Krycek! What the hell is going on here?!_

Krycek: "Я нашел, что она шпионила за вами всех в спину." "Она знает о вашей операции здесь' И о доставке."

 _I found that she spied on you all in the back._ _She knows about your operation here. And about the delivery._

Baroyev: "Aaaarrggh! И мы делали соооо много прибыли в этом капиталистическом предприятии!" "И теперь мы должны закрыться и двигаться!"

 _And we made sooo much profit in this capitalist enterprise! And now we must close and move!_

Heinrich [angry at being excluded as they were speaking in Russian] : "Nachdem ich mich zurückgezogen habe, sollte ich ein Penthouse in der Schweiz kaufen? Oder eine Luxusyacht, um die französische Riviera zu segeln?"

 _After I retired, should I buy a penthouse in Switzerland? Or a luxury yacht to sail the French Riviera?_

The driver of the Buick Wildcat during the car chase when hit by the smoke screen.

"Святые дымы!"

 _Holy smoke!_

 _The driver of the Buick Wildcat again, this time after he is shot by 58 and slumps onto the pavement._

"Что за день!"

 _What a day !_


	2. Chapter 2 The Hideout

**CHAPTER 2 The Hide Out**

The windowless room with its bare concrete walls, floor and ceiling was a perfect vertical rectangle, its northern and southern walls at least 50 ft wide and 100 ft in length for its western and eastern sides. The ceiling other than bearing several florescent light tubes that kept the entire space illuminated was entirely bare except for a 10 ft by 5 ft rectangular hollow at the mid-point of the western wall. Inside the head of the hollowed section was a door leading to the area above. A single flight of wooden stairs with double railings connected this door to the floor of the concrete room.

Various crates and wooden boxes some open others sealed were stacked neatly at most of the northern end. The southern end was a hive of activity with black control panels riddled with switches buttons, dials and gauges lining about 40 ft of the western and eastern walls beginning from the south wall.

20 ft from the south wall was a large device starting with a dark green cylinder of steel about 5ft in diameter and 3 ft high with 4 steel extensions radiating out at its base with which it was bolted to the concrete floor. Smaller control panels were mounted along the circumference of the cylinder, lit up with indicator lights and gauges with the needle jumping back and forth continuously. Thick cables were plugged into apertures at its base and trailed over to the nearest control panels in the walls.

Extending from the middle of the main cylinder's flat top was a smaller cylinder about 6 ft in height, but only 2 ft in diameter and extending from the top of this cylinder was a slightly more slender black circular shaft reaching all the way to the concrete ceiling stopping just a few inches of it. Radiating from the entire length of this final rod were several black folded dipole antennas.

3 men in grey-green shirts, dark pants with matching calf length leather boots and short, multi-pocketed open black vests sat on swivel chairs at the control panels of the base cylinder, turning dials, flicking switches and listening to headphones plugged into jacks on the panels completely absorbed in their work, oblivious to the constant hum of hidden ventilator fans that kept the air in the room circulating efficiently. A fourth similarly dressed man, a few inches over 6ft in height, with crew cut golden blond hair stood at the larger control panels on the western wall, making notes on a clip board as he studied the gauges.

Seeming to watch over all the men and the entire scene was the 4 ft plaque mounted on the southern wall of a menacing vulture with partially spread wings, talons grasping a globe of the earth, all within an inverted pentagon with longer sides and a jagged top. Large bold alphabets in red stretched across the plaque at the chest level of the vulture spelling out " **KAOS** ".

The only element more watchful than the vulture, was the fifth man. He stood almost like a statue watching over the three men with the headphones, his back facing north. His face and features were puffed and sagging as he settled into his 60ties, with hair fading from blond to grey and white slit back and gelled to reveal a distinctive widow's peak. A monocle was held over his right eye reflecting the light from the fluorescent tubes overhead. His eyes behind monocle and without, shone with a cold intensity and focus belying his age as he surveyed his underlings before him. What made him stand out even more, was his clothing…

The older man's 6ft 2inch frame was encased in a black uniform hailing from a bygone era. Tailored flared-hip breeches tucked neatly into knee high form-fitting jack boots of high quality glossy leather. His upper body was shrouded in a black field tunic, not of cloth but curiously of black patent leather complete with gorget patches and shoulder boards. However, the red armband on his left arm did not feature the swastika but the same KAOS emblem on the wall. The utility belt that encircled his waist with a belt suspender extending from left shoulder to right hip, held a holstered Luger.

One of the men at the antenna control with neat brown hair and angular jaw put down his headphones and walked towards the older man with a clipboard. Stopping before his superior, the man clicked the heels of his shoes together and bowed slightly before presenting the clipboard.

"Vat ees eet Riehm?" the older man asked as he tucked his black ceremonial baton encrusted with silver symbols under his left arm and took the clipboard in his leather gloved hands.

"Oberführer—tensmizzions from KAOS International."

Upon reading it, the black uniformed man smiled, eyes glittering with excitement and pride.

"Very gut!" the older man declared to his subordinates "KAOS International applauds owver verk here! Owver KAOS scientists haf alvedy begun developing zhe military technologies ve obtained und tensmitted as vell as sold two of zhem to several Iron Curtain countries, incluzink East Germany—"

"Hurraaaaaa! Sieg! Sieg! Sieg! Sieg!.." all the men cheered and chanted from their stations

"—however—" the Oberführer emphasized with a raised gloved finger as he read the clipboard "—no discount for East Germany—"

"Scheißen!" all the men groaned sagging in their chairs if they were seated

"—vut," the Oberführer continued "as vecognition of owver gut verk, ve all get free new dance shoes und tailored tuxedos for zhe next Annual KAOS Dance."

"Hurraaaaaaaaa!"

A red light blinked with a loud buzzing on one of the wall control panels.

"Storch." The Oberführer said to the blond KAOS agent at the wall control panel, tilting his head towards the staircase.

Storch strides quickly to the other end of the room and went up the stairs. They could hear him talking briefly with someone before the door at the top of the stairs was closed and he came back down with several paper bags labelled 'Benny's Deli' in one hand and a large dish with a plastic cloche on it.

"Vhere is the marked vun?" their leader asked immediately.

Storch turned held out his hand with the sandwich bags offering his leader the outermost one. The Oberführer rummaged in the bag and quickly found what appeared to be two small squares of class only slightly larger than a nickel, stuck together with a black dot in the center. Another one of the men from the antenna console, in his 40ties with a thick black mustache, square jaw and predatory small black eyes, hurried over with a device consisting of a small black lighter sized box with what appeared to be a small telescope fixed on it. Taking the device, the leader put it to his monocle and examined the tiny dot held between the glass as his men waited.

Soon the Oberführer smiled again.

"Yes! Zis is the information ve haf veen vaiting for from Krycek. Zhe plans for Amelika's Poject Phalanx!" he held up the square of glass announcing to his men. "Vith zis sold to Amelika's enemies und developed by owver KAOS scientists, ve vill zoon bring zis kapitalist zesspool to its knees und avenge owver defeat in the var!"

"Hurraaaaaa!" all the men chorused fists pumping in the air.

"Hensel!"

The third man from the antenna control, the youngest in his mid 20ties with side-parting wavy dark brown hair and round framed glasses stood and came over.

"Haf zhe plans translated for tensmission! Evyvun! Lunch!"

"Ja Oberführer!" Hensel nodded taking the glass squares as well as a bag of sandwich and walking to a long work table lining the northern wall between the control panels and beneath the KAOS plaque.

"Oberführer. Zhe courier reported vad news." Storch reported as the other KAOS agents each took a bag from him. "Owver netverk haz been vaided by CONTLO."

"I zee." The leader nodded in thought as he opened up his own paper bag.

"Krycek haz veen avested along vith most of zhe agents from owver five food vetail establishment flonts. Baroyev is dead." Storch continued

"Scheißen!" the leader shook his head in dismay as he kept rummaging in his paper bag. "Und Heinrich?"

"Dead as vell."

"Gut!" the Oberführer declared crumpling up his paper bag and tossing it away onto a nearby table. "Dummkopf gave me YELLOW mustard again instead of WEISSWURSTSENF! Haf zhe orders been given to close down und re-establish zhe netverk?"

"Ja. As ve speak, accorzing to your potocol, Oberführer." Storch confirmed.

"Shud ve not go as vell Oberführer?" the mustached KAOS agent asked as he munched on his thick sandwich.

"Nein, Arnheiter." The leader shook his head, light flickering off his monocle. "It vill take too long to set up zhe antenna again und zis latest tensmission ees crucial. Hensel! Haf zhe plans veady for tensmission by three a'clock!"

"Ja Oberführer!" Hensel acknowledged as he relaxed at the work bench with his meatball sub.

"Vut Oberführer." Riehm asked unwrapping his food "Ve visk exposure if ve tensmit in the day."

"Ha!" their black uniformed leader scoffed twirling the black baton skillfully in his gloved fingers "Zhese kapitalists are vools! Zhey are zo busy valking und talking to their animals und fussink vith their children zhey barely look up! Vonce ve vinish tensmitting, ve dismantle und move to our alternate location before CONTLOL even comes near us.—" he looks at the covered dish Storch was still holding and tapped it with the silver ornate end cap of his baton. "Vhat tis zhat?"

"Ah!" Storch replied lifting the cover to reveal a moist, towering ring-shaped confectionery with swirls of white, billowy dairy product filling the hole in the center and spread over the top. "Applesauce bundt cake vith vhipped cream."

"Vich of you Dummkopfs orzered zhis?!" the leader roared at his men pointing and shaking the silver end cap of his black baton at them. "I TOLD you idiotens a million times, only orzer fom KAOS approved establishments! Not only zu you visk getting vood from a CONTLO front vhich may contain lizenning or homing devices—VURST, you are helping zheir kapitalist economy!"

Riehm, Hensel and Arnheiter all with their mouths full and sandwiches in hand, shook their heads frantically and pointed at each other.

"Oh nein, Oberführer." Storch interceded "Plesent from Mrs Ackleberry across zhe stleet."

"Oh!" their leader said tilting his head and shifted his baton to hold it by the end caps "Oh! Zhats okay zhen."

"It ees, Oberführer?" Storch inquired

"Vhy yes!" the leader nodded knowingly, light flickering off his monocle. "I mean—ve may be evil enemy agents verking to tear down zheir kapitalist regime, freedom of speech und vay of life as zhey know it for vengeance und profit, vut—ve are not bad neighbors. Free kapitalist dessert eveyvun!"

"Hurraaaaaaaa!"

Thanks for getting this far! Hope you'll finish the entire fan-fic!

Again translations for non-German speakers via Google Translate:

"Hurraaaaaa! Sieg! Sieg! Sieg! Sieg!"

 _Hurray! Victory! Victory! Victory! Victory!_


	3. Chapter 3 Planning and Pastrami

**CHAPTER 3 Planning and Pastrami**

"A disaster! An unmitigated DISASTER is what this is!" the Chief declared as he stormed into his office towards his desk, hands gesticulating in front of him.

He felt older than he was an hour ago and the nasal baritone voice that followed him along with its owner did nothing to alleviate his stress.

"Chief, it's not that bad!" Max insisted close behind the Chief, large paper bag from Benny's Deli in his hand while 99 followed behind him, hand still at her rib cage.

"How can you SAY that Eighty-Six?!" the Chief exclaimed dropping into his seat behind his desk.

"Well Chief," Max insisted sitting at the visitors chair in front of his superior's desk and setting the paper bag down, busying with its contents. "after all, we have almost ten KAOS agents in custody. That's a pretty good haul for a half day's work."

"Not just a half day's work Eighty-Six!" The Chief leaned forward scowling, hands knuckle white on his desk's edges. "MONTHS of work! Months spent trying to locate the KAOS smuggling network! And now, after all that work, all we have are a few arrests and STILL no idea how they were smuggling the stolen secrets out of the country! Based on what Ninety-Nine discovered today, the delis are clearly NOT the last stage in KAOS' new operation! We found NOTHING from the five delis we raided except hidden weapons! The delicatessens are likely just another link in the network. And in case you forgotten…MAX what are you doing?!"

Max continued unpacking the food from his bag without a millisecond of hesitation.

"Lunch chief. I missed it what with being shot at and everything."

"How can you think of FOOD at a time like this?!" the Chief shook his hands at Max before turning it into a pointed finger. "And need I remind you, the KAOS agents at Jordan's and Desalvo's all ESCAPED because Fifty-Eight and Forty-Five had to be pulled out to save YOU! So we didn't even GET all of them! You said you were SURE Krycek didn't' know you were watching him!"

"Well, I said I was _sure_." Max nodded at the Chief as he unwrapped the tin foil around his pastrami on rye. "I didn't say I was _certain_."

The Chief's eyes rolled down, face sagging as he let out a slow breath wishing it was his last and squeezed his eyes shut, shaking his head in dismay as he pinched the bridge of his nose. He realized he had been wrong. No pain caused by any elitist, greasy, overweight, political-connection-abusing lawyer could come CLOSE to what 86 was capable of.

99's modulated satiny voice floated down from his side, providing him some relief and comfort.

"Chief have we been able to get anything from Krycek and the other KAOS agents we arrested?"

The Chief sighed leaning back into his chair.

"I'm afraid not Ninety-Nine." The Chief replied spreading his hands. "They only knew their own part in the network. Krycek only knew he was to deliver the information to one of the five delis each time, the agents from the delicatessen fronts only knew they were to receive the information from Krycek and pass it on to—as you suspected Ninety-Nine, the deliverymen from the _Fresh Food Express Delivery_ service which they confirmed is also a KAOS front. The remaining agent from the two cars decoying Max knew even LESS! Their only orders were to kill him!" The Chief scowled at this point at Max as though he envied the KAOS killers. "I wish we had been able to arrest the KAOS agents who ran that delivery service but by the time we got to their office, they had already closed down and disappeared! KAOS is getting much better at structuring their smuggling networks and informational compartmentalization. Someone truly in-genius is running their espionage operations here in the States!"

"Annie' ifear foo if if?" asked Max through a mouthful of pastrami and rye, mostly pastrami.

"Not yet. But that isnt' important right now." The Chief leaned forward again, elbows on table and stretched fingers of both hands inches apart at something he wish he could grasp but could not. "It's so FRUSTRATING! Every time—we take years and months, locating and taking down one of KAOS' communication and smuggling operations, they come right back with another one! We stop them from sending hidden messages in newspapers on paper routes, they switch to microfilms hidden in flowers and gifts! We stop them from smuggling government secrets out via export of electronic appliances, they use talking dolls with special cassette tapes from Bowers Department Store! We close down Bowers and now less than SIX months later, they're using food retail and we STILL don't know how they're doing it! Nothing we found inside the delis or the remnants of the delivery service offices points at any delivery method that reaches overseas! The point of egress for the information obviously comes AFTER the delivery service."

"Fy th' fay Ny-Ny." Max asked, mouthful and chewing. "Howf' dis you knof Kychef waf hafing th' inffomashn ofer?"

"Krycek asked Baroyev to toss his coffee cup for him and Heinrich took it all the way back into their kitchen instead of just tossing it into a waste basket they had out front at the cashiere which was empty at the time. That's why I wanted to check out the kitchen." 99 explained. "Anyway, I saw the cup again when I was in there and confirmed it had a false bottom."

"That means that doughnut stand is a KAOS front too." Max said between mouthfuls. "Boy Chief! Stealing our military secrets is serious, but at the rate they're taking over our food retail establishments, when they finally branch out to FAST food, we could be in a lot of trouble! Especially since their stuff tastes so much better!"

As the Chief closed his eyes, bowed his head to squeeze the bridge of his nose again, the automated sliding door to the office hisses aside to admit Hodgkins, the Chief's old, accountant-like, sad-faced and even balder assistant with 2 files marked Top Secret.

"Chief, these reports both marked urgent just arrived." Hodgkins announces.

"Thank you Hodgkins." The Chief said reaching out for them. "Hopefully there's some good news for a change. That'll be all."

Hodgkins nodded but paused as he saw the other half of 86's sandwich on the tinfoil on the table, piled so high with corned beef the 2 slices of rye bread were an afterthought.

"Corned beef on rye from Benny's?" he asked mildly.

"Nad's rife!" Max declared through a full mouth. "Puf, pashta-me! N no thi yof geffin any!"

"Just as well." Hodgkins sighed as he walked to the door. "Three weeks of that and the doctor confirmed my blood pressure went from normal da permanently sky rocket levels."

"I'll eat a bite for ya!" Max called after the departing assistant happily as he bit into his sandwich again.

"Maaaax." 99 scolded him softly before looking at the files the Chief was pouring over. "Are we clear to know about those Chief?"

"Of course Ninety-Nine." The Chief said without looking up from the files. "This is a report from CONTROL Central and these are updates from our intelligence sources behind the Iron Curtain, both CIA and our agents. And it's as I feared."

"Wha shief?" Max asked standing up and leaning forward to look as he bit into his sandwich again.

"CIA and CONTROL intelligence assets confirm at least three Iron Curtain countries have begun development of the biochemical weapon known as _Super Sleep_. And they…"the Chief stopped as 5-6 pieces of oil soaked pastrami landed on the document in one file. He slowly turned his fuming visage up to find it facing Max's face with cheeks bulging in a highly accurate imitation of a hamster storing food.

Max swallowed and sheepishly pulled back picking up the pastrami, leaving behind a huge oil stain and bits meat on the report.

"Sorry bout that Chief."

"Wait." 99 frowned as she lifted her left thigh slightly to sit on the edge of the Chief's desk on his right. "Isnt' Super Sleep one of…aaah!"

99 eyes closed in apparent pain as she quickly slipped away from the table edge holding her rib cage.

"Ninety-Nine are you alright?!" the Chief exclaimed concern replacing fury instantaneously.

"I'm fine Chief. Really, I'm…"

"You shouldn't' sit in this position with your injury." The Chief said standing up with a hand on her shoulder.

"That's right Ninety-Nine. You should rest in a proper chair."

"Eighty-Six, give Ninety-Nine your chair."

Max frowned sandwich nearing his mouth.

"I meant outside in the waiting area." He clarified.

"I need her here!" the Chief declared

"Chief I'm fine really…" 99 tried to assure her superior despite still holding her side.

"But Chief! I'm still eating—"

"MAX!"

"—which I will continue to do standing up." Max verbally swerved and stood up with his sandwich to let 99 slowly sink down in his seat and he took up his position at the side of the desk where she had stood.

"Thank you Max." Ninety-Nine smiled gratefully.

"Ninety-Nine, the doctor said the bullet bruised two ribs and cracked a third." The Chief said in his fatherly voice as he sat back down. "You need to be careful even with the bandages they've wrapped you in. If the situation wasn't so dire I'd order you home right now."

"I understand Chief." 99 assured. "I promise I'll be careful. Chief, _Super Sleep_ is one of our military projects isn't it?"

"That's right Ninety-Nine." The Chief confirmed "Developed less than eight months ago by the Army. And that's not all. Our agents also confirmed two other Iron Curtain Countries developing their own versions of _Star View_!"

"The NSA's new prototype spy satellite?" 99 was startled.

"That's right!"

"Those are some of the military secrets that were reported stolen right Chief?" Max asked biting into his sandwich.

"Correct." The Chief tapped his finger on the report avoiding the oil stain. "And this is confirmation that KAOS International in Europe has been receiving those smuggled secrets and SELLING them off fast!"

"But that still doesn't' really help us find out HOW they're smuggling the secrets out." 99 pointed out.

"Uh." The Chief lifted a finger for emphasis before pointing it down at the other open file. "This might. You see CONTROL Central has been closely monitoring radio frequencies and transmissions all through the state for several months. There was never anything concrete that we could use till now…"

The Chief stopped talking as several oily strips of pastrami drops onto the other report, covering his finger. Again he slowly looks up at 86's bulging cheeked face. Max swallowed his latest mouthful of pastrami and sheepishly takes its fallen comrades off the Chief's finger.

"Sorry bout' that Chief."

The Chief satisfied himself with a blow out of air from his nose and focuses on trying to save the country instead of something much more satisfying at the moment.

"...CONTROL Central has detected a powerful radio frequency spike just above the medium wave. They occurred on several dates, always between midnight to two in the morning. But if you'll look at the spikes detected on these two dates and compare them with the reports of _Super Sleep_ and _Star View_ from our intelligence assets—"

"—They both occurred just a week or two before the reports from our agents!" 99 exclaimed.

"That's right Ninety-Nine." The Chief confirmed "And on each of the dates, our listening posts behind the Iron Curtain also confirmed detecting the same spike at the same time! So you know what this means."

"KAOS agents all over the world have a favorite radio station they listen to?" Max offered before asking "Uh, Ninety-Nine could you pass me the mustard."

"So it's shortwave?" 99 asked passing the condiment to Max as the Chief scowls at him.

"That's right." The Chief leans back into his seat again. "It's as we feared. KAOS has leant from their mistakes. They're circumventing the constraints of physically smuggling information out. Instead, they're trans-MITTING the secrets back to KAOS Headquarters! They must have some kind of secret radio broadcasting base here in the city with a high powered shortwave antenna array."

"But Chief if they're using shortwave, they could be transmitting from anywhere in the country." Max noted spreading mustard into the pastrami. "I mean who knows how many links their smuggling network had."

"True, but CONTROL Central believes that based on the strength of the signal spikes, the transmitter has to be within Washington D.C."

"Why couldn't' CONTROL Central track the transmission back to its source Chief?" this from 99

"The transmission is too heavily encrypted." The Chief answered with a furrowed brow "Our scientists have been unable to trace the signal or listen in at all. KAOS must have some form of highly advanced scrambling device for their transmissions."

"Why do the only transmit at midnight to two?" 99 wondered

"Several reasons I believe." The Chief raised a finger as he spoke. "As with all spies, they have a fixed schedule to report to their superiors. At other times, no one would be tuned in. Secondly, in order to transmit, their antenna array would have to be exposed. So where ever they're located, it's somewhere we would never think of looking but at the same time densely populated enough to warrant some caution. Which explains the late hour."

"Does CONTROL Central have any idea where they could be located?" 99 asked

"Yes." The Chief said flipping through the file. "They've enclosed a map of likely coordinates…it's…yes, here. It's somewhere within this area—" the Chief moved his finger tip around a red circle indicated on the map. "—where…"

 _Flop!_

"…the giant pastrami and mustard is located.—MAX!" the Chief yelled gesticulating at 86 for the large mound of mustard coated pastrami that had dropped right inside the red circle on the map.

"Sorry bout' that Chief." Max said as the Chief grabbed some paper towels from the sandwich bag and grabbed the offending fallen culinary horrors while 99 noted.

"Chief, that's mostly a residential area. Lots of family homes. Really quiet. How could KAOS hide a secret radio station there?"

"It actually makes sense. Everyone there being in their home is relaxed, feeling safe and totally focused on mundane routines of life like sending their kids to school, cleaning their houses and cars, entertaining friends, instinctively tuning out anything out of the ordinary they may see." The Chief declared. "But they are there somewhere. And time is short. Now fortunately _Super Sleep_ is just a tranquilizing agent and our military does have an antidote and the NSA assures us that _Star View_ is far from perfected and at least five years from operational deployment."

"Which means, they've been using it to listen in on everything we say and do for the past TEN years." Max shrugged chewing away.

The Chief tilted his head in acknowledgement before continuing, stabbing the table with a finger for emphasis.

"But we can-not let them transmit Project Phalanx. It could compromise the defense of our country and our counter-strike capabilities for decades to come!"

"Chief what is Project Phalanx?" 99 inquired.

"Currently," the Chief explained gesturing with his hands. "our military's primary medium and high-altitude long-range air defenses lies in the Nike Hercules and the mobile Hawk missile systems. Project Phalanx is a highly improved prototype radar-guided surface-to-air-missile system with greater accuracy, range and mobility. If all goes well, it's primed to replace both the Nike Hercules and Hawk missiles. Now, while the research is still far from perfected, if our enemies got a hold of it, they could use it as groundwork to improve their own missile systems which will enable them to even the odds against the United States in any conflict, never mind how KAOS would apply it in their OWN operations!"

"Chief how is KAOS able to get hold of so many classified secrets in the first place?" 99 asked in disbelief.

"Well KAOS always had a wide spectrum of insidious, ruthless, despicable and terrifying intelligence gathering methods."

"You mean they pay the NSA to tutor them?" Max asked

"It's still under investigation!" the Chief snapped at Max before turning back to 99. "And despite the deep involvement of KAOS, I have as yet been unable to get the case handed over to CONTROL. More conservative elements in the cabinet including the Joint Chiefs and the Secretary of Defense have persuaded the President to keep it under CIA jurisdiction. It's all I could do to get the president to let us handle the smuggling network—WHICH based on this morning's outcome, might not be the case for much longer!"

"And worse—" Max added stuffing the last of his pastrami sandwich into his mouth and chewing on one side. "—we lost the best pastrami and corned beef on rye in Washington."

"So-I'm-TOLD!" the Chief yelled shaking in anger and clenching his fists at Max.

"What's our next step Chief?" 99 asked hoping to keep the Chief's blood pressure from following the footsteps of Hodgkins.

Her soothingly, velvety voice as always kept the Chief focused and calmed turning their superior back to the situation at hand.

"I need you and Max to head down to the area and start searching for the KAOS radio base. We have just learnt of this intel so we don't' have any advanced intelligence assets in that area. I need the two of you to try and spot anything out of the ordinary and once our agents are finished with the delicatessen clean ups, I'll begin sending more people to help. But for now you two are our advanced team. We have till midnight tonight."

"But Chief we can't just go knocking on every door. There's gadda be some way we can try narrowing this down." Max pointed out.

"Which I hope you'll find once you're there." The Chief said and stood up. "But you _will_ have some help. Carleton should have something for us right now. Let's head over to the lab."


	4. Chapter 4 The Obligatory Lab Scene

**CHAPTER 4 The Obligatory Lab Scene (No really, that's the title)**

"Alright has the current been set?" Professor Carleton asked.

The long brown haired female technician in a lab coat on the professor's left nodded where she held a black box covered with rows of knobs, switches and a gauge with metal handles on each side. Long wires trailed from jacks at the leading edge of the box to what appeared to be a bright green mat on the floor at the wall just 30 ft away. Big yellow alphabets on the mat spelt out 'WELCOME."

Just a few feet to the right of the first mat was another one slightly bigger, orange in color with the word welcome spelt out in dark green whose wires were at the moment unconnected to a control device.

As the Chief walked down the length of the laboratory floor towards the back of Carleton with Max and 99 trailing him, the professor signaled to a male lab assistant who stood at a control panel against the wall. The man pulled down a lever on the panel and a winch in the ceiling lowered a man sized dummy dressed in a typical black suit and tie and fedora of a KAOS agent towards the green welcome mat.

The moment the shoes of the dummy touched the mat, it seemed to come alive and flipped up on all sides, wrapping the dummy's legs up to the shin and immediately a blinding light flashed repeatedly together with an ear splitting sound of an electrical surge. 99 gasped as tendrils of electricity emitted from the mat crackling over the captive dummy till its clothing began to emit smoke.

"It's shocking! It's shockiiiiiing!" Carleton cried out, his eyes wide open reflecting the flashes from the electrical surge, his fists lifted up to his ears in victory.

Just as the dummy's clothing bursted into flames, Carleton signaled the female assistant who promptly switched off the electricity and flicked a switch causing the mat to flop back down flat on the floor as mat's do.

"Good! Good! Get that into production right away!" Carleton instructed the woman who nodded and walked off while other lab assistants extinguished the blazing dummy with fire extinguishers.

"I see the new anti-intruder countermeasure is coming along fine." The Chief noted.

"Yes! Yes! Yes!" Carleton declared turning around, the excitement in his eyes overshadowing his bald head and haggard features. "I've added self-actuating, microfilament driven high tensile, steel bands inside the mat enabling it to wrap around the legs of the intruder so it won't' matter if he's wearing rubber boots or shoes!"

99 found it unnerving that Carleton was so enthusiastic at the prospect of causing a painful death even to an enemy.

"How many volts is that?" Max asked just as enthusiastically.

"The one we just tested," Carleton pointed out, maniacal smile set on his face. "is capable of discharging three THOUSAND volts and the new high capacity batteries I've invented will enable the mat to maintain the charge for at least TEN minutes! Guaranteed to stop the biggest, strongest, most ruthless, brutal and merciless KAOS assassins! The other one, reserved for even MORE dangerous enemies, discharges FIFTY thousand volts for at least HALF an HOUR."

"What's more dangerous than the biggest, strongest, most ruthless, brutal and merciless KAOS assassins?" 99 asked letting out a deep breath.

"IRS agents." Carleton and Max chorused

"Professor, have you made any progress with tracking the KAOS radio transmissions?" the Chief came to the point.

"Some." Carleton replied leading them over to a work bench laid out with a myriad of equipment in various stages of assembly and completion.

"This is what we have so far." The professor said taking hold of a stainless steel briefcase on the table and laying it down on its side. "Oh, before that, Eighty-Six, we've replaced the armor plating and windshields on your car and been looking to pass this over to you—"Carleton looked for a moment among the various equipment on the table and picked up a black box the size of a cigarette pack and opened it up to reveal a slender device with a few buttons on it. "—the remote control we were working on for the Anti-Grenade Mechanism in your car. You'll be able to control the hand remotely with it and even set it to carry out simple automated tasks from picking up hazardous materials to even providing cover fire with a firearm."

"Tell me professor," Max asked looked at the remote control in his hand. "is that robot hand bullet proof?"

"Well," Carleton paused in opening the steel briefcase "it's constructed from a reinforced, heat treated, high-grade titanium tungsten alloy so—yes, it could withstand continuous point-blank impact from ordnance up to fifty caliber."

"Yeah, well, you need da tell that to the hand." Max grimaced passing the remote off to 99.

Everyone stared at Max with some bewilderment even as Carleton opened the briefcase to reveal a device resting inside a cushioned shaped slot. It resembled a handheld camera with a pistol grip but instead of a camera lens, it featured a small radar dish like device at the end of two rods extending from the main body. The dish itself featured 2 miniature folded dipole antennas.

"This is the KX-A1." Carleton announced turning to face his audience with the device. "It's a high powered radio wave receiver, transmitter and sensor. We've calibrated it to detect the frequency spike from the KAOS shortwave that CONTROL Central had been monitoring. There is an audio alert that will beep with increasing frequency as you near the source of the transmission. Once the KX-A1 locks onto the KAOS transmission, the beep switches to a continuous tone and you press the trigger switch—"Carleton clicks said switch with his index finger on the pistol grip. "—and the KX-A1 will transmit a specially calibrated continuous VHF burst that will unscramble the KAOS transmission, allowing us to listen in and track it."

A jubilant smile broke on the Chief's face for the first time in the day.

"That's brilliant professor! So you've done it! We can finally locate and track down the KAOS radio station!"

Carleton's expression remained pensive as he raised a hand, lowering his head slightly.

"I'm afraid not Chief. For that, we really need more time. This module will only be able to detect, lock on and unscramble the KAOS transmission within a one mile radius."

"One mile?!" the Chief exclaimed while Max looked up at the ceiling in dismay and 99 closed her eyes in disappointment. "What…what about jamming it?"

"Not yet." Carleton shook his bald head. "The KAOS shortwave technology is more advance than anything we've seen so far. Now given more time we could eventually detect them from a distance and jam them but at this moment this is the best we can do I'm afraid. I'll keep working on it of course."

The Chief sighed and declared.

"Alright professor. Make this your top priority, all other projects on hold!" as Carleton nodded, the Chief turned to this two agents. "Alright Max, Ninety-Nine. It's up to you two. Head down to the area identified by CONTROL Central and see if you can spot ANYTHING that can help us pinpoint the KAOS radio station."

"Right Chief." Max nodded before turning to Carleton and lifting his left foot up to remove his shoe. "Oh before we go professor, I need a refill on that emergency smoke pellet. I used up mine a week ago."

"Oh, no problem." Carleton said taking the shoe and twisted open the heel compartment while searching among his equipment for the smoke pellets.

"A week ago?" the Chief frowned "Your only assignment during that time was overseeing surveillance on Krycek. I don't remember any report involving use of the smoke pellet?"

"Oh, uh, well…" Max replied with hesitation "...it didn't' happen on a case you see. It happened when I was at a dance club."

"A dance club?!" the Chief exclaimed while 99's eyes widened in disbelief.

"Yes." Max replied smiling from ear to ear. "With Verena.—" 99's eyes narrowed instantly and her soft lips pressed together in annoyance as Max parted his dark blue single breasted suit jacket to hook his thumbs into his vest pockets, chest puffing up with sheer ego and even raising himself up unevenly on his socked and shoed toes momentarily. "—She's a stewardess from Swissair on layover that I met. She could really KICK her heels high and keep them UP!" Max kept smiling, thumbs inside vest pockets as he continued while the Chief shook his head in dismay. "Well, I showed her that as a first class athlete and gold medalist in the CONTROL Spy School's high jump, my heels could go JUST as high as her's could!—They just couldn't defy gravity indefinitely like her's. But she was certainly impressed E-NOUGH believe me! And by the way, the smoke came in PRET-TY handy when she did!"

Max finished his bragging, smiling and nodding all around but stopped immediately when he realized for some unfathomable reason, 99 was staring at him with slit eyes, elegant brows furrowed in a concentration that could melt the reinforced, heat treated, high-grade titanium, tungsten alloy of the anti-hand grenade mechanism.

"What?" Max asked 99 who simply turned her head away from him her features immobile while the Chief just buried his face in one hand, shaking his head.

"Here you go Eighty-Six." Carleton said handing the shoe back to Max but yanked it back for a moment as the secret agent reached for it. "And for heaven's sakes, DON'T stamp your FOOT again when you put it on! It took us THREE hours last time to air out the lab!"

Max snatched back his shoe and put it on, scowling and grumbling at an equally angry Carleton.

"Alright, let's not waste any more time!" the Chief said hands gesturing for emphasis. "Both of you better get going."

"We won't let you down Chief." 99 promised as she picked up the briefcase with the KX-A1.


	5. Chapter 5 Dream Homes, Dream Dates and N

**CHAPTER 5 Dream Homes, Dream Dates and Not So Dreamy Max**

"Oh Max, this neighborhood is a dream!" 99 gasped as they drove along the road through the residential area, past the hundreds of individual houses.

"Yes it's not bad." Max shrugged as he shifted gears to maintain the Sunbeam Tiger at a reasonable speed.

The top was down and the wind blew steadily but softly at 99's shoulder length raven tresses as she sat next to him, the buttoned down scarf of her brown dress flapping. The neighborhood they were cruising along was indeed idyllic, made up of rows and rows of individual houses, most just 2 story high or 2 and a half, many with manicured lawns while some had little gardens of home grown flowers and even vegetables. The roads were mostly quiet except for kids zipping by on their bicycles and people walking their dogs. Most of the cars of the home owners were now tucked away in the city at their place of work leaving the area with nearly no vehicular traffic.

"It's so perfect! I just can't imagine—" 99 declared as her slender hands and fingers, encased in rich brown kidskin gloves with ventilated dorsal sides, held the KX-A1 and adjusted the controls on the main body while keeping it pointed out of the car to the side. "—KAOS having a secret hideout somewhere here, right where people are settling down with their loved ones, raising families or enjoying their sunset years?"

"Ninety-Nine, this is the land of the free! Anyone is entitled to these homes long as they work hard and are able to afford it." Max declared sweeping his hand along the line of beautiful homes they drove by. "I mean, everyone deserves a roof over their heads, regardless of race, creed or purpose!"

"Even those who represent evil?!" 99 exclaimed.

"Long as they pay their taxes and mortgages on time." Max said shaking a finger in the air. "And I bet you, every international organization of evil intent on remaining undetected by the government is in one way, more law abiding than your average Joe!"

"In WHAT way Max?" 99 asked bewildered, gloved fingers, brushing a few locks of flying raven hair out of her eyes.

"You can bet THEY never fall behind on paying their taxes and mortgages!" Max declared nodding with eyes wide. "After all, international organizations of evil are the LAST ones who would want Internal Revenue knocking down their door! It'd be more humane having the army or air force toss heavy ordnance on them!"

"Maaaaax." 99 sighed with a grimace.

"If you ask me, those hardworking Americans out there, sweating at factories, breaking their backs in warehouses and squinting at ledgers in offices to put food on the table for their wives and children could LEARN a thing or two from evil organizations bent on toppling our government, destroying our very way of life and generally fermenting revolution and unrest across the world!" Max declared with solemn nods of his head before stopping, mouth frozen in an 'O' on his last word as he frowned and applied a bit more brain cells to what he just said.

"Well I would be mortified to think I was raising my children or caring for my husband with KAOS agents less than a hundred feet away, wouldn't you?" 99 inquired peering at the gauges on the KX-A1 for any sign of activity.

"Ninety-Nine, I am a secret agent!" Max declared. "Trained and sworn to lay his life down for this country at a moment's notice so that OTHERS can enjoy the American dream!"

"So you've NEVER thought of settling down?" 99 inquired trying to make her shrug nonchalant and hide her disappointment by keeping her eyes on the KX-A1. "I mean, you've never thought about finding someone special to…share your life with? And if you did…what that woman would be like?...Or Who?"

"Well…" Max shrugged indifferently, eyes half-lidded. "I'm just too committed to my work and the safety and security of every man and woman of this great country to give much thought to that!—But if I had to choose, I'm not too picky—just someone who can understand, anticipate and cater to everything I say and do twenty-four seven, five foot four, long natural blonde hair, 75 pounds, blue eyes, thirty-five, twenty-two, thirty-three."

99 grimaced casting her eyes sideways at Max as she held the KX-A1 in place and frostily offered.

"Like Verena?"

Max's eyes popped and his jaw dropped in astonishment.

"Why Ninety-Nine! Why didn't you TELL me you knew Verena?!"

"Lucky guess." 99 gave a smile cold enough to give frostbite to a polar bear as she looked back out the side.

"Well, you could have fooled me!" Max continued scoffing. "Of course—" Max's ego fueled smirk returned again as he cocked an eyebrow and waggled his head. "—confirming she was a nat-tural blonde I'm sure was much more fun for me than…"

"Max this is getting nowhere!" 99 exclaimed in frustration.

"I disagree!" Max objected before smirking again. "It got me EVERYwhere with Vere…"

"Not THAT, Max!" 99 groaned throwing her head back on the seat. "We've been circling this area for a whole hour, we've covered every house! Nothing on the KX-A1! Most likely they haven't got it turned on yet. The transmissions they found only started from midnight anyway. We need to come up with another plan."

"Don't be ridiculous Ninety-Nine!" Max declared as he eased back on the gas pedal while making a turn past an American Foursquare house. "Why if we gave up every time due to lack of results and progress we would never get ANYwhere with anything worthwhile! Trust me I know!"—His egotistical smirk returned as he stared ahead dreamily "—Not that Verena was such a case. And when the results came, they KEPT-on coming!"—99 leaned her head back, rolling her eyes in dismay.—"And did she looooove looooong showers in the morning, especially when I was in there with her! Boy, my water bill's gonna gimme a heart attack!"—Smirking again, Max went on. "—Just like Verena! Fortunately we both chose da sleep in though she almost missed her flight. But I can tell you, she was NOT-TOO-UPSET with the thought of another evening together with…"

"Sleep IN?!" 99 finally exclaimed turning away from the window as they cruised past a row of beautiful American Craftsman style houses but still keeping the KX-A1 aimed. "Max! The fourth day of our surveillance on Krycek! Is THAT why I had to continue the surveillance for the morning shift when I'd just done the night shift?!"

Max blinked several times as he stared ahead through the windshield at the road, his mouth ajar for several seconds before he squinted and attempted to speak intelligibly.

"Wha…wha…sorry what was that?"

"Max! You told me you slept through your alarm and then you had to catch up on your reports for the Chief!" 99 declared her large eyes wide with shock.

"Well…now…that…th…th…that's NOTuntrue!" Max stammered raising a finger off the steering wheel for emphasis and now focusing especially hard on the road ahead as 99 stared at him. "I DID sleep through the alarm—right along with Verena…eeeeh…eh…heh! And then we…eh…I more importantly I—finally woke UP and I WANTED da get up and come take over from you, something un-EXPECTED happened which made it im-POSSIBLE for me to leave! A monumental SHIFT in the paradigms of the universe that no force on this PLANET could alter no matter how much I WANTED to!"

"What are you talking about Max?! What shifted?!" 99 demanded, her dark eyes wide with disbelief.

"Verena! From lying next to me, she shifted…eeeh…on to me."—99 groaned rolling her eyes."—And then…uh…came the…aforementioned…long…long showers…and after THOSE, the reports to the Chief really…really did pile up..."

"Ooooh MAX!" 99 exclaimed closing her eyes and leaning her head back into the headrest "I was EXHAUSTED from working THREE SHIFTS straight for you because agent Seventeen had to stay with his sick kids while his wife was out of town and Thirty-Four was pulled for that assignment in Philadelphia!" She lifted her head and looked straight at him again her left gloved hand gesticulating in frustration. "I ASKED you to get the Chief to assign more people but you didn't' want him yelling at you cause you DIDN'T plan ahead for replacements! So I COVERED for you and you SWORE you'd be in bright and early the next day to take over! Oooooh MAX! I almost collapsed by the time agent Seventy-One arrived to take over after I finished YOUR shift!"

"Uuuuhh..." Max said suddenly finding the glare in the windshield to be the most interesting things on the Earth. "…what was that you said about a new plan Ninety-Nine?"

A few minutes later, the Sunbeam Tiger was parked at a lot outside a nearby supermarket and both agents poured over a map of the area.

"Okay, based on this map," Max said "we've covered the entire area which CONTROL Central identified. Perhaps their scanning equipment was somewhat off and we need to extend our search area."

"Where do you think we should look Max?" 99 inquired as she gazed over the map, her gloved right hand pressing it down against the wind.

"Let's use some basic deductive reasoning and keen intuition Ninety-Nine." Max declared and raised a fist to lift a finger each time a point was checked off. "First, the Chief said it HAS to be in Washington D.C. We're in Washington D.C.—"

"Right Max!" 99 agreed

"Second, it's likely in a place where no one would ever think of looking!"

"Right Max!"

"Third! The antenna when transmitting must be somewhere high up and unobstructed! Likely, the roof of a building!"

"Right Max!"

"Four! Transmitting at night further ENSURES no one will see the antenna on their roof!"

"Yes Max!"

"Ninety-Nine," Max smiled proudly, "my highly trained skills in deductive reasoning and keen intuition has concluded that the secret KAOS shortwave radio station, is right—here!" and stabs at a spot on the map at which 99 leans in for a closer look.

Here delicate eyebrows furrowed as she focused on the location 86 was pointing at.

"But Max…that's way inside the city! And it's…it's—" 99 pulled back from the map and stared over at Max's beaming mug with narrowed eyes and tight lips. "— _Dining with Cupless Ds_. A topless restaurant?!"

"Yes!"

"WHY would KAOS hide their secret radio base there Max?" 99 sighed, cringing only partially because of the pain in her ribs which had begun throbbing to life again.

"Because!" Max declared pointing a finger up at the sky to emphasize his brilliance and also often something else he would rather be doing. "It occupies an entire three storey building, high enough for the antenna. It operates till two in the morning! And most importantly, and this is crucial Ninety-Nine, its external walls, ALL around are ceiling to floor CLEAR glass panels!"

"WHY is that most crucial Max?" 99 asked already preparing herself for what is to come.

"Because," Max declares puffing with pride. "at midnight to two AM, when they're in business, it is AB-SOLUTELY gua-ran-TEED, the LAST thing, ANYone dining in or passing by will be looking at–is the roof!"

99 lets out a very slow breath as she rolls her eyes and head to her right before reaching past the pain in her side, which is only partially coming from her cracked and bruised ribs to gather some inner strength to aid in turning back to face 86 again with a forced smile.

"Max, the restaurant is really far. Maybe we could look into that once we're SURE the base isn't here."

"Maybe you're right Ninety-Nine." Max acknowledged. "But where do you think it could be? We've swept the entire neighborhood. There's nearly a hundred houses here. Even if the Chief sends reinforcements with more KX-A1s I doubt it would do any good until they turn their antenna on and by then it could be too late. And we can't knock on every door, it would take too long!"

"There has to be a way we can narrow it down." 99 declares with a gloved fist near her smooth soft lips. Thinking a moment, she raises a brown gloved index finger. "Max, you said the antenna had to be on the roof?"

"It's the best place Ninety-Nine." Max nodded. "The rest of the shortwave equipment would be kept indoors and hidden."

"Well couldn't' they just cut a hole in the roof and hide it with some kind of panel?" 99 offered. "That way they could just open up the panel when they wanted to deploy the antenna."

"But a panel like that would look suspicious Ninety-Nine!" Max argued. "I mean, there's no possible reason to install something like that and you risk water damage if it rains! Besides if they made a modification like that without filing for permission with the city it could call the authorities down on them and compromise their operation. They must have some way of deploying the antenna without any suspicious alterations…"

"Max!" 99's glistening raven eyes lights up even more. "Chimneys!"

"What?!"

"Chimneys Max!" 99 said again. "I remember a few of these houses have chimneys. Couldn't' they simply run the antenna UP the chimney? NO one would notice that, especially past midnight, in the dark and if the antenna itself was black."

Max thought for a while with his fist pressed to his chin before raising a finger to acknowledge.

"You may have something there Ninety-Nine. They could have the rest of the shortwave equipment set up in a nearby room on the ground floor with cables to connect it. Shouldn't be hard. I remember only about eight houses with chimneys."

"And six of them were on sale." 99 added. "The real-estate company could be a KAOS front making sure no one buys the house or views it."

"You're right Ninety-Nine. We should check em' and since no one is supposed to be in, it should be easy. But what about the other two?"

"We could pose as building inspectors. That'll give us reason to check the plumbing, electrical wiring, insulation—basically the whole house thoroughly. Do you have the Building Inspector Disguise in the trunk, with the badges?" 99 suggested

"Yes," Max confirmed "but minus one teeny-weenie component."

"Which component?"

"The badges." Max grimaced. "I haven't had time to requisition their replacements with us being busy on this smuggling network and watching Krycek."

"But I don't remember you or us using that disguise in any mission for the last eight months." 99 frowned.

"Well." Max's ego fueled smirk returned. "It wasn't on a mission. You see, Verena likes role play, where she's stripped searched by a cop or customs official and well, I didn't have time da head over to the costume party shop and…heh…Verena enjoyed herself so much, she wanted them for a souvenir so if we can wait say for three weeks she'll be back on another layo…"

"Ooooooh Maaaaax!" 99 groaned shaking her head in complete dismay and sagging back in her seat.

"Okay, okay! Don't worry Ninety-Nine!" Max said turning the ignition and bringing the Sunbeam Tiger's engine to life. "Let's just search the six houses that are on sale and we'll figure something out."

The six houses on sale were luxurious American Craftsman style houses as well as two of Georgian Colonial design. Max parked the Sunbeam Tiger in an unobtrusive corner and they proceeded on foot to look at six houses. With 99's magneto ring, they ensured there were no electronic or electrical surveillance or alarms in each building before they picked the back door locks and searched each place from top to bottom with guns in hand ready for an ambush. They quickly confirmed however that none of them was a KAOS hideout.

"Well, I'm PRETTY sure this isn't KAOS' secret radio base." Max said about an hour later as they observed the second last house, a luxurious, white-washed California style bungalow with red roof tiles and wide porch.

Both stood hidden in the tree line across the road at the semi wooded area with Max who had his bino-specs on observing the structure while 99 stood at his shoulder with her head tilted towards him as she looked at the house and asked.

"Why is that Max?"

"Because Ninety-Nine." Max said removing his bino-specs and gesturing with it as he spoke. "With my highly trained eagle eye, I have been able to deduce several clues that eliminates this house as the KAOS base. First, the chimney's flue liner has been permanently sealed and capped rendering it impossible for any antenna to emerge from it. Second, the concrete sealing the flue liner is at least two months old which coincides with the dates of the transmissions the Chief showed us. Third, even if the chimney seal is so well disguised as to fool my eagle eye which it is not, that old oak tree next to it with the overhanging branches would completely tangle up the antenna and disrupt its transmissions. And fourth, the hidden element only visible to my flawlessly honed eagle eye that proves the owners of the house are just your run of the mill average citizens and not KAOS agents in disguise keeping a low profile."

"Which is?" 99 asked eagerly trying to see without the binoculars.

"The husband just came home unexpectedly and caught his wife with the postman."

99's jaw dropped and she gasped as the front door of the house suddenly flew open and a lean man in his 30ties with messy brown hair came dashing out wearing only his white boxers and socks, struggling into his uniformed shirt. He was chased immediately by a burly man in his 50ties in a light gray suit and bald head encircled with a fringe of thinning greying hair. Eyes blazing in rage and huge fists clenched, he chased the younger man around the front yard.

"Arnold! Arnold! I…I MEAN…Mr Olger! Just calm down!" the postman yelled as he dashed around the swing set.

"Why you scumBAAAAAG! You little shit! Wait till I get my hands on you!" the big older man hollered trying to corner the postman. "To think I gave you a present EVERY CHRISTMAS for the past SEVEN YEAAAAAARS! I'm gonna kick your…."

"Arnold! Quit that racket!" a woman with long brown tresses and full glossy lips in her late 20ties appears at the door, her svelte form in a short sensual black silk chemise revealing her lean alabaster thighs, topped by an open robe which she seemed completely uninterested to close appears at the door. Hands on her thrusting slender hip she titled her head at the sight of the two men running about the yard with a bored expression. "You're SCARING the neighbor's CATS!"

"Reeeeeeeeeeoooooooowwwwwwww!" went the neighbor's cats, all three of them running up the tree in their yard next door.

"I'll give back the presents! I'll give back the presents!" the postman panted and yelled trying to keep a bench in the yard between him and his pursuer. "But ONLY the last TWO! Cause I SWEAR nothing was happening before then!"

"TWO-YEEEAAAAAAARS?!" Arnold roared

The woman tossed her head back, rolling her eyes as she said.

"Ronnie—you seeeeriously think that helps?"

"I'm-gonna-KILLYOOOOOOU!" Arnold bellowed lunging and clambering over the bench reaching for the postman who dodged the big hands just in time.

Arnold stumbled and fell to the grass but promptly dragged himself up and kept chasing his quarry who was considering joining the neighbor's cat's up a tree.

Arnold's wife sighs and turns to go back into the house, hips swaying and robe swirling as she waves a dismissive hand over her shoulder saying.

"Fine! You boys lemme know when you've pooped yourselves out, I'll get ice tea ready and our lawyers on the line."

As Arnold and the postman continued racing round he yard and the cats in the trees watching them wondered why humans couldn't just feed them and watch their illuminated boxes quietly as that would just make things more dandy for the world, 99 blinked several times and took a deep breath.

"Well…" she said. "I…I guess we can count this place out."

"That's right!" Max declared. "KAOS may be an international organization of evil working to foment revolution and unrest throughout the world but that—"Max gestured at the scene across the road. "—is WAY out of their league!"


	6. Chapter 6 The Last House

**CHAPTER 6 The Last House**

"No, no, no, no!" Max exclaimed where they sat in the Sunbeam Tiger at their last suspected location for the KAOS radio base. "This CANT' be it Ninety-Nine!"

"But Max, it's the ONLY one left that fits our parameters!" 99 exclaimed with a gentle shake of her brown gloved fist. "We HAVE to check it out!"

"But Ninety-Nine!" Max said spreading his hands in dismay. "It's a house belonging to a sweet-little old lady!"

They were parked about half a mile away on a rise, hidden adequately at the side of an expansive modern craftsman-style bungalow but enabling them to look down the road to the last house.

Max had to accept the fact that the house was indeed ideal, situated in a slightly less congested part of the neighborhood with more trees around it then other houses on its side of the road. Its closest neighbor was a larger American Foursquare house across the road directly opposite and another house just a few hundred feet down the road from this house.

The house in question, was itself, a 2 story Dutch Colonial style house with the distinctive dark grey, broad sloping gambrel roof with eaves flaring over the long side. Typical of such designs, a porch lined its long northern and southern side with the southern long side facing the road. Second floor windows protruded from the sloping side on the south side and on the west side they could see windows for the ground and second floor, all with elegant parted lacy curtains on the inside. The brick chimney for this house protruded distinctively from the ridge of the roof right at the center and they could imagine where the fireplace was.

Perfect as its location and design was, Max simply could not get over the occupant. With his bino-specs, he could see now, the older lady, bent slightly with obvious age come hobbling out the front door at the left corner of the south side of the house. Her white hair was pulled back in a bun and she wore round, rimless eyeglasses perched low on her nose and her bent form was shrouded in a heavy grey shawl, long flowing matching skirt and a long sleeve baggy white blouse.

Max adjusted the focus on his bino-specs to zoom in slightly and 99 could see the lens of the device extending slightly. The old lady had turned around holding the door open and out trooped about 5-6 children, a mixture of boys and girls about 5 to 6 yrs old, accompanied by a woman in her late 20ties in a light green sleeveless knee length dress—most likely a mother to at least one of the kids while babysitting all of them. Max couldn't tell what they were saying but the kids appeared very excited clapping their hands and jumping about on the porch and the young lady had to remind them to keep quiet.

As he looked on, Max could not see that the old lady actually had a hand woven basket of some sort and she smiled and talked happily while handing out what looked like large individually wrapped chocolate chip cookies to the happy children.

"Ninety-Nine! This is NOT possible—" Max said turning his head to face 99. "—look what that…my Ninety-Nine, what a big NOSE you have."

Just at that moment, 99's equally gigantic lips smiled lopsidedly as she said.

"Maaax."

Max blinked and realized he had not taken his bino-specs off.

"Oh sorry." He said doing so. "Look Ninety-Nine! Do you know what that sweet old lady is doing?! She's had a bunch of kids visiting! Likely telling them old stories and fairy tales which end 'happily-ever-after' and she's now giving them COOKIES! Which by the way look reeeeally de-LICIOUS! How could any KAOS agent be doing that?!"

"I know. It's very hard to believe." 99 agreed

"She must be eighty, Ninety-Nine!" Max asserted as he put his bino-specs back on and continued observing. "Plus, for the past forty-five minutes that we've spent watching her, we've seen the equally sweet old lady in the house across the road come over with an apple pie for her! And she immediately returned the favor with a basket of blueberry muffins she had on hand! And inside of FIVE minutes, another neighbor drives up to her house and she gives her a cherry pie! Then ten minutes after that, a young couple drives up with their three kids for what seemed like a normal run-of-the-mill visit and they leave with baskets of muffins AND cookies! And for the past fifteen minutes, it's this whole bunch of kids and their babysitter! And look! Look! She's taking forever just easing herself into that rocking chair on the porch! How could she be a ruthless, cold-blooded, cunning, merciless KAOS agent?"

99 blew out a breath, holding her chin in her gloved index finger and thumb as she accepted everything Max said.

"I know. You're right Max. She apparently has a very close relationship with most of her neighbors, welcomes any number of guests into the house at all times, well-liked by every one of all ages…hardly the behavior of a KAOS agent trying to keep a low profile!"

"So you SEE what I mean!" Max declares turning back to her. "My Ninety-Nine, what big ears you have."

This time 99 just smirked and rolled her eyes sideways at him, making Max realized what was happening again and with a grimace, removed his bino-specs.

"But Max, don't you think we should check it out anyway, just to be thorough?" 99 insisted.

"And how are we supposed to do that?" Max asked. "The building inspector badges are right now, somewhere in Switzerland." His face became downcast as he continued in a jealous grumble. "Likely pinned to someone ELSE Verena is role playing with! Geez I hope she doesn't SCRATCH them! CONTROL won't give me my fifty buck deposit back!"

99 sighed with a lopsided smile as she cast a sideway stare at Max before looking away at the house in question again. The old lady was still on the rocking chair, apparently knitting something.

"We could maybe pretend we're lost and ask for directions?" Max suggested. "Maybe you or I could ask for the bathroom and take a look around? Or maybe I could ask for those cookies of hers. Or even better, let's forget about this house, and just ASK for the cookies before moving on to the _Dining with Cupless Ds_."

99 sat up looking past Max and shaking her gloved right fist.

"That's it Max!"

"Right! Dining with Cupless Ds it is!" Max said reaching for the ignition. "We'll come back another time for the cookies!"

"No Max!" 99 exclaimed grabbing his forearm. "Quick, lend me your bino-specs!"

99 dons the device and adjusts the focus looking intently for a few moments before explaining.

"That's it Max! The house further down the road on the side of the neighbor's!"

"What about it?" Max asked looking into the distance at the California style bungalow there.

"It's on sale! I can see the real-estate agent's number on the sign!" 99 removed the bino-specs and elaborated quickly. "Quick, use your shoe phone, call the real estate agent. We'll pose as a couple, married maybe for about a year or so and moving into this neighborhood and looking for a new house where we'd like to start a family! Make it sound real promising like, 'we're willing to pay full up front' or 'put down the majority of the price right now', whatever you have to so the agent will come right down to show it to us. Then, after we view the house, which SHE would definitely notice, we can pretend to talk to her about the neighborhood, where the nearest schools, how are the neighbors like and maybe even ask to see her house on the pretext of getting ideas on how to redecorate!"

Max frowned before exclaiming.

"Pretend to be married and wanting to start a family?!"

"That's right!" 99 nodded eagerly.

Max looked 99 up and down incredulously.

"But you're not Verena!" he declared "You're not even blonde! And most of all, you're just Ninety-Nine!"

99 blew out an exasperated breath again tilting her head back with up-rolling eyes before as she said.

"Max! You'll just have to settle for me for a few hours."

Max grimaced giving in saying as he reached for his shoe phone.

"Ooookay! But while we're waiting we need to get you into my custom made 'My-Wife' disguise in the trunk."

99 frowned, perplexed as Max twists the heel lock and removes the shoe's false underside to reveal the mechanisms of the phone.

"Max, you made up a disguise for a fake wife?"

"That's right! People will find it more believable if the woman I'm with fits the bill!" Max said flipping up the round microphone at the bottom of the shoe just below the arch to reveal the rotary dial under it and began dialing.

99 leaned her head back for a moment, eyes closed trying to fight the ache from her cracked rib which threatened to flare up any time she groaned tiredly.

"Max, I DON'T want to put on whatever you THINK a PROPER WIFE of yours' would wear! We don't have time and we look fine as it is!"

"Okay," Max said putting the round earphone which protruded from the shoe's heel to his ear and awaiting for someone to pick up. "just put on the blonde wig then."

It took less than 20 minutes before the appointment was made and the delighted real-estate agent was on her way and Max and 99 (sans wig or correct wifely outfit as perceived by Max) was walking down the road toward the house, deciding to leave the Sunbeam Tiger out of sight. They chatted happily about the neighborhood and looking at the houses with 99 holding Max's arm playing the part, both in their belted trench coats, 99's being a light green one now replacing her damaged one in the morning.

"There it is honey!" Max pointed as they were approaching the Dutch Colonial house but aiming at the vacant house further down. "I told you we'd find it easily enough!"

"Oh Alan! It's beautiful! Just what we're looking for!" 99 gushed as she set eyes on her supposed dream home. "There's plenty of space for kids to run around! And everything on the ground floor! See how convenient it is!"

"It's definitely a find honey!" Max fake grinned and wonders if he would EVER grin for real in a real situation like this even if it was with a Verena.

"Hello there!"

They both stopped and turned right at their objective, smiling brightly.

There on the porch, the old lady was leaning forward in her rocking chair, straining to see them through her rimless round glasses. At this range, they could see her baggy loose sleeved white blouse actually had a heavy ruffled collar which extended to the front of the garment over her chest.

"Helloooo!" 99 smiled brightly and waved

"Hello there!" Max greeted.

"You two looking to buy that house down there?" the lady asked, voice quavering with age.

"Oh yes!" 99 said bounding on her knees slightly with enthusiasm as she clutched on to Max's arm. "It's everything we want in a home!"

"Oh splendid! Splendid!" the woman declared clapping her wrinkled hands. "Mrs Ackleberry and I have been waiting for ages for some new YOUNG neighbors! You and your children can visit anytime!"

"Well ah…we're still working on the kids." Max grinned nervously. "But we still have da talk to the agent. I…I mean the price is a little steep."

"Oh pish posh!" the lady scoffed flapped her wrinkled long fingered hands. "That' what instalments are for! A wonderful home where you can raise your family and grow old together is priceless! I would know!"

"That's what I've been telling him!" 99 smiled brightly. "But…Alan worries incessantly!"

"When he holds his firstborn in his arms," the lady assured clasping her hands together, "he'll KNOW what's important!"

"That's what I've been saying sweetie!" 99 said stroking Max's face.

"Yes! Ah...yes, so you've said!" Max nodded trying not to sweat despite the nippy weather.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" the old lady exclaimed. "I'm Mary. Mary O'Dowling. Claire Ackleberry and her husband Roger across the way there."

"Alan Kinsborough." Max smiled "My wife Melissa."

"You must want to know about the neighborhood and schools available in the area before you buy the house." Mary guessed.

"Oh yes! We'd love that!" 99 nodded.

"Well come on in!" Mary beckoned with a shaky arm. "I can put on a pot of tea and tell you all you need to know!"

"Oh that would be lovely! Thank you!" 99 said.

"Oh wait, honey, the agent is here!" Max said pointing to a yellow Volkswagen Type 3 pulling up at the California bungalow for sale.

"Don't you fret!" Mary assured. "You go on right ahead! And if you'd like, come right back afterwards for some tea and I'll tell you everything you need to know about this beautiful neighborhood."

"Oh thank you so much!" 99 gushed

"That's very kind of ya." Max nodded as they proceeded on their way.

"Well, Ninety-Nine?" Max asked when they were out of earshot and nearing the house for sale. "What did I tell you? Sweet-old-LADY! She's invited us in without us even ASKING! No KAOS agent running a secret radio base would do that!"

"I know Max!" 99 groaned slightly as her grey kidskin boots clicked softly over the road as she walked. "We'll just have to follow through with it and if we're wrong, hope the Chief's reinforcements get here in time da help us search the area more thoroughly."

"Right Ninety-Nine." Max said. "And I'll grab enough cookies for our trip over to Dining with Cupless Ds—"and before 99 could protest he called out to the real estate agent who was waiting for them. "—Hi there! Thanks so much for coming down on such short notice!"

The lady real estate agent was extremely thorough, showing them all the modern amenities and rooms of the bungalow which was also fully furnished. They spent a good deal of time with her to make it seem convincing though 99 felt somewhat bad for wasting the agent's time on what was a charade which would not result in any form of commission for her. It was nearing 3pm when the real estate agent drove off with Max promising to contact her by tomorrow if they had a decision and they started walking back to Mary's house.

Mary was overjoyed to see them again.

"Well? Lovely home isn't' it? Wonderful place to raise a family?" Mary asked, her hands clasped at her chest.

"Oh, it is!" 99 gushed again, gloved hand over her chest as they stood before her on the porch.

"But we're hoping da get the agent ease back on the price a little." Max admitted. "But we're still not even sure about the area and all."

"Oh, then let me talk it up!" Mary declared. "Come on in and I'll get the tea ready! I've just made a fresh batch of cookies too! The kids reeeally love them! Oh…I'm sorry, could you help me up please….sigh…it's getting harder and harder these days…"

Mary laughed as she reached her arms out and 99 and Max obligingly eased her out of the rocking chair. She continued to lean on Max's arm as she led them into her home through the front door which was near the left corner of the south side.

As they entered, Max and 99 found a staircase on the west wall about 20 ft from the front door while the remainder of the space they saw was the homely living room with a sitting area in the center consisting of a long rich grey sofa with 2 matching armchairs before it facing each other, all bordering a large coffee table.

"Oh your home is lovely Mary!" 99 declared quite sincerely as she walked with her coat draped over one arm, slightly ahead of Max who had his own trench coat on one arm and Mary on the other.

"Oh thank you dear." Mary quavered as she and Max stopped near an arm chair. "Though I'm not sure how much longer I can stay here. I can barely make it up the stairs anymore in less than an hour! Soon, I might have to sell it for a smaller place."

"Oh I'm so sorry." 99 said with sincerity again, turning to them, having taken note of the rest of the living room layout. "How long have you lived here?"

The northern wall they realized was a dividing wall which separated the living room from the kitchen. But at the center of the dividing wall was as they expected, the broad chimney breast constructed from solid red bricks protruded, extending all the way up into the ceiling and beyond through the second floor till it emerged as the chimney from the roof. The chimney breast itself was nearly 15 ft wide. On either side of the projection was a door leading into the kitchen with the door on the left of the chimney breast squeezed between the bricks and the spandrel. The long heavy grey cushioned sofa was positioned just 8 ft in front of the chimney breast with the furniture's back to it.

"Oooh all my life," Mary smiled with wrinkled lips. "Ever since I came over as a young lass from Ireland with my Liam—rest his soul."

"Your husband?" Max asked patting the old woman's hand.

"That's right." Mary confirmed, a light seeming to come to her eyes behind her glasses upon mention of her love. "He fought in the first war! All through the middle east, Africa, across Europe and the Pacific and came home withOUT a scratch! Ooooh, he was STRONG back then!"

"How long ago did he pass?" 99 asked stepping up to the brick face of the chimney breast.

"Oh, almost a decade back." Mary said wistfully as she moved forward with Max's help.

99 and Max had now both realized that the 'fireplace' itself was missing. The hollow whether arched or square in shape had been bricked up and sealed.

"I remember when Liam and I used to sit in front of that fireplace on cold winter nights." Mary recalled "The warm glow of the flames making our skin almost red! Uuuuuhhh…the memories."

"I can only imagine." 99 said lowering herself down onto a crouch at the chimney flute, her coat over her lap, brushing her gloved hand slowly over the brick.

"Uh…what happened to the fireplace Mary?" Max asked his left hand crooked with his trench coat over it while Mary leaned on his right arm where they stood just a few inches from the back of the sofa behind 99 crouched at the chimney breast.

"Sigh…" Mary quavered shaking her head sadly. "I had to brick it over. It became too hard to maintain at my age. I thought of installing an electric fireplace but…sigh…it just wouldn't be the same."

"I understand." Max nodded smiling kindly.

"Sometimes the memories you have can be brighter than any flame a fireplace can provide." 99 smiled as she ran her gloved fingers along the seams in between the bricks testing the concrete. She could tell the fireplace used to be square in shape and then—her breath caught inside her throat as her gloved fingers finally discovered what they sought.

"Much safer too!" Max nodded "Plus saves you a ton on the electric bill."

"Oh Alan!" 99 laughed as she focused on the bricks. "Don't you see what Mary is trying to tell you?"

"As I thought dear, you see much more than many realize."

99 still crouched facing the chimney breast felt her breath catch again in her chest and throat at the sound of the voice. It was Mary, but not Mary. No more wistfulness of a love lost, no quavering. The tone was the same but it was strong, steady and laced with a cold, cunning strength that sent a chill down her spine.

99 twisted slightly looking back to see Max still standing there, beaming away, playing his part not realizing what was wrong as he could not see what she saw since Mary was still bent slightly at her side, her face hidden from him. But 99 saw it. The kind expression and warm eyes of the sweet old lady giving cookies to the kids, were gone, now replaced with a visage of stone, eyes flaring over the rimless glasses with a terrifying, cold, razor focus and lips curled in a cruel smile that sent another blast of chill through her, causing her cracked and bruised ribs to ache again.

Before she could cry a warning, the formerly sweet old lady suddenly sprang up to her full height, all weakness gone and her arm flew up and swept down in a blur of white blouse and grey shawl. Her knifehand strike slammed down onto the back of Max's neck at the base of his skull with a thump loud enough to be heard outside.

99 gasped as Max's eyes rolled up and his face and jaw went slack. As he fell forward and landed face down in a blue suited heap on the carpet, 99 thrusted her hand into her purse under her left arm, grabbing about inside.

Mary moved with frightening speed, not a sign of aged infirmity left as she converged on Max's unconscious form, long fingered hands grabbing his shoulder and effortlessly flipping him over. Before 99 could stand up, Mary had ripped open Max's suite jacket and yanked the 5 inch barreled Colt Official Police from his shoulder holster with her left hand while her right appeared out from under her shawl with a 100 mm barreled Luger P08.

99 sprang to her feet, her hand finally coming out of her handbag with her Derringer pistol.

"Stop! Drop the gun and step away from him!" 99 instructed aiming her small Derringer at Mary who she couldn't understand why, did not seem interested even to look at her.

The answer came a millisecond later as the doors on either side of the chimney breast swung open and armed men in black multi-pocketed vests, matching pants and grey-green shirts charged into the living room from both of them, their heavy black leather boots thumping loudly on the carpeted floor.

Immediately, 99 found a man taller than the rest, his golden hair shorn in a crew cut, broad chested with blue eyes almost as cold as Mary's behind her to her left with a metal stock folded MP40 submachine gun levelled, waist high at her. She instantly breathed out in dismay tilting her head back as she lifted up her hands. One of the two men that had come through the other door from the kitchen, square jawed, in his late 40ties with a back mustache and beady glittering eyes of a focused predator stepped over to her, Walther P38 in his hand and snatched away her Derringer with the other.

Not caring for her safety, 99 immediately dropped to her knees next to Max cradling his head in her brown gloved hands.

"Max! Max! Can you hear me?—Maaax!"

"Unnnngggghhh…." Came the reply groan.

Even before his eyes opened, Max's face twisted in agony as his legs moved to help him sit up while his hand went to the back of his neck.

"Nine…Ninety-Nine?" came the blurry question

"Yes Max! I'm here!" 99 answered stroking his face.

"Wha…where…" Max struggled to speak as he opened and squeezed his eyes shut to try and focus. "…where'd that eighteen wheel semi come from?"

"What?" 99 asked fearful that Max was delirious from concussion. "What semi?"

"The one that HIT me of course! Arrggh!" Max groaned immediately following his snap holding the back of his neck.

"It wasn't' a truck that hit you Max." 99 said.

"What?" Max squinted before sighing and said. "Don't tell me it was the sweet old lady who hit me because she's actually a KAOS agent?"

"I'm afraid so Max." 99 affirmed.

Max groaned squeezing his eyes shut.

"I ASKED you not to TELL me that!"

"Enuv!" Mary commanded waving her Luger P08. "Get zhem eento zhe bazement! Schnell!"

Immediately the mustached man grabbed 99 by her right bicep and yanked her to her feet, causing her to gasp as pain seized her left ribcage again while the third man, in his 30ties, lean and compact with neatly trimmed brown hair and sculpted angular jaw went for Max. He more lightly built than Max and only an inch taller with a Walther P38 as well in his hand. Despite this, with just one hand on Max's collar, he effortlessly yanked the CONTROL agent up. Max actually felt his shoes leave the carpet for a fraction of an instant before they settled down again.

Mary led them into the large kitchen through the door on the left of the chimney breast. Max looked about the large kitchen which featured a round dining table in the center, basin on the northern wall and a back door in the northeast corner. A counter lined the east wall with cabinets and more cabinets were installed over it.

He watched as Mary led them to the northwestern corner of the kitchen where there was a rectangular concrete protrusion about 10 ft in length and 6 feet wide extending to the ceiling. Set in the 6 ft southern end of this protrusion was a door directly in line with the door they just came through.

Mary opened the door revealing a staircase going down and she proceeded first. Only when she reached the bottom out of sight did the mustached man march 99 down while Max was covered by both the angular jawed and taller blond KAOS agents.

As Max's turn came to be marched down the stairs, he thought he would need time for his eyes to adjust to the gloom but surprisingly, other than the hollow area in the protrusion at the top of the stairs, as he went down, it was perfectly lit. He reached the bottom with the MP40 wielding blond KAOS man behind him, and found 99 standing there still with her hands up watched by Mary and the mustached KAOS agent. The basement he realized was longer than wide and the staircase was in the middle of its length on its long western wall.

"Herzlich willkommen! Herzlich willkommen!" a strong voice boomed

Max stood next to 99 and they both faced the origin of the voice, at the southern end of the basement.


	7. Chapter 7 History Lesson

**CHAPTER 7 History Lesson**

First they saw the sinister Earth clutching vulture emblem of KAOS mounted on the southern wall. Then, about 20 ft from the south wall apparently under the watchful eye of the vulture, was a cylindrical device of dark green steel, 5 ft in diameter and 3 ft high. It appeared bolted to the concrete floor via steel extensions radiating out at its base. Smaller control panels featuring blinking indicator lights and constantly jumping needle gauges adorned this cylinder base's circumference. Thick cables led from apertures at the southern side of the cylinder's base straight out to the wall under a work bench and then trailed along the walls to the nearest floor to ceiling control panels that lined the eastern and western walls beginning from the southern walls, for about 40 ft.

Max and 99 were pushed by their captors down the length of the basement which stretched away from them. As they got nearer, both of them stared up at the 6ft high cylinder extending from the center of the base cylinder. This was only 2 ft in diameter and finally, extending from the top of this second cylinder, the long black cylindrical shaft reaching all the way up to the ceiling and radiating numerous black folded dipole antennas for most of its length.

Max's Sunbeam Tiger remained parked at their observation point, next to the modern craftsman-style bungalow out of sight of Mary's house. But a few seconds after Mary had struck Max, the vertical rectangular panel at the center of the vehicles hood, slid open laterally and the silvery robotic arm within the recess underneath unfolds itself, the 4 steel struts comprising its 'humerus', 'radius' and 'ulna' gleaming in the sun light. This time, it straightened its elbow joint assembly such that that its mechanical hand points straight up at the sky and with a fine, low pitched hum, its telescoping steel struts extends, slowly increasing its length, literally reaching for the sky. When it finally reached the limit of its extension, the arm was almost 5 ft long. Then bending backwards at its base rotary assembly serving as its shoulder and its elbow rotary hub, it was able to reach over the windshield of the convertible to the stainless steel briefcase which had been left on the passenger seat. The mechanical hand deftly flips open the latches, its joints and humming smoothly with every movement, and opens the lid revealing the KX-A1 resting in its foam-lined pocket.

Just then, a small yellow and red ball flies into the convertible landing in between the two seats, bouncing slightly before coming to a rest near the gear shift. The arm immediately turns in the direction from which the ball originated, palm of its hand facing out to find a 6 year old boy with a bowl cut hair, fringe sweeping his eyes wearing a mickey mouse t-shirt and jeans, staring curiously at it. The boy giggled as the mechanical hand waved at it before humming back into position to pick up the ball and tossed it back to him. The lad caught hold of the ball happily and the hand waves and makes a shooing motion for him to be on his way just as the vexed mother in white silk blouse and tweed skirt comes trotting up, kitten heels clicking loudly on the road.

"Tommy! If I've told you before, I've told you a thousand times!" the mother declared grabbing the boy by the hand and storming off with him. "DON'T play with strange robot hands attached to cars! You NEVER know where they've been or WHO made them!"

The Anti-Grenade Mechanism's hand opens in shock before clenching into a fist and shakes itself indignantly at the departing back of the mother. It then turns back to its task, lifting the KX-A1 out of its pocket in the briefcase and swiftly contracts back to its original length, pointing the device up into the air and the audio tone begins beeping slowly.

Max and 99 finally pulled their eyes from the very objective of their search to the speaker, barely registering a fourth KAOS agent seated at the controls of the base cylinder hands racing over dials, switches and buttons and jacked in headphones on. 99 made him out to be younger than the rest of the men, in his early to mid 20ties with side parting soft brown hair and wearing round framed glasses, resembling more, any of millions of college students all over the world then a member of an international organization of evil.

99 and Max finally locked eyes on the smiling leader, who certainly had went to great lengths to be noticed and succeeded. Max noted easily that the man standing before him was 6ft 2 inches tall, probably 62-65 years of age with a distinctive widow's peak formed by his slit-back and gelled hair, once blond but now grey and moving towards white. A monocle was held by his squint over his right eye with its string disappearing into the folds of his tunic. The corrective lens, reflected the fluorescent light from the ceiling turning the circle of glass a blazing opaque white but his visible left eye glittered with a penetrating, calculating intelligence.

But what Max had to blink several times to confirm that he wasn't hallucinating from the blow to his neck, was the man's apparel. The leader was encased entirely in black; flared-hip breeches of high quality woolen woven fabric, tucked neatly into knee high jack boots of a glossy patent leather with matching gloves covering his hands. His tailored M43 field tunic was unusual as it appeared to catch the light of the lights in the ceiling along with the leather utility belt complete with belt suspender on his left shoulder which hhe holstered Luger at his right hip. Max took a moment to realize that the tunic was made not from serge but a fine, soft leather. This made the silver twin oak leaves on the gorget patches on his wide collar and the swirling patterns on the shoulder boards stand out even more prominently. If not for his red armband encircling his left sleeve bearing the KAOS emblem instead of the swastika, he would have been a picture, cut right out from the Second World War.

The leader also brandished some kind of black, silver studded baton in his gloved hands and he smiled happily as he pointed it at two straight back, wooden chairs before him within 10 ft from the shortwave equipment.

"Please! Sit! Sit! Hands down! Ve may be killing you both soon but no need to be unzivilized!"

"Well thank you!" Max nodded happily as they lowered their hands and were prodded by their captors into the two chairs, facing the leader with 99 in the left chair and Max on the right.

As the mustached Arnheiter returned to his station at the controls of the shortwave at the western side of the base cylinder opposite Hensel, Max added.

"Whenever I'm killed, I always prefer it being done in a civilized manner." Of course, 86 then frowned again at what he just said.

While Storch stood before Max, covering him with the MP40 and the lean, angular jawed Riehm stood on 99's left, his Walther P38 still aimed at her, the uniformed leader laughed dryly, holding his baton by its ornate silver endcaps as he noted.

"Ja! Yor infamy precedes you! I nevar believed it bevore until now, but everzing owver KAOS files zay about ju ees true!—" Max's egotistical smirk returns as he relaxes in his chair with an air of confidence, only to have it replaced by a wide eyed, angry pout as the leader continued. "—Shtupid! Bumbling. Klumzy. Arrogant. Not to mention over-confident und prone to incessant verbiage."

"Now JUST a minute!" Max exclaimed angrily with a confident nod. "I'll have you know, my ve..ver…ver…what you said—makes PERFECT sense!"

The leader laughed together with his henchmen and henchwoman while Max smiled proudly believing he had made his point, making 99 breathed out silently closing her eyes in pain both physical and emotional.

"Bevore ve proceed." The leader said, nodding at Storch.

The big KAOS agent, stepped forward and his huge booted feet kicked out to strike Max's right shoe heel producing a crunching ring as his shoe phone broke, making 86 jerk forward, eyes popping in agony while 99 gaped in shock and concern.

Grimacing, Max looked up at the cold, iron face of the MP40 brandishing Storch.

"Well THANKS a LOT! That's forty-eight unused message units down the drain!"

"Zhis ees vhat you seek corvect?" the leader continued, pointing at the shortwave equipment over his shoulder with his baton ignoring Max's concern. "Owver latest advanced shortvave. Az ju vould haf guessed vy now, ve are directly underneath zhe fire place een zhe living room. Zhe antenna ees retlactable und extends upwards thlu zhe ceiling und up zhe chimney vhen ve are ready to tensmit."

"Ah yes!" Max declared looking at the towering equipment. "The ol secret-high frequency radio transmitter antenna-in-the-chimney-linked-to-the-hidden-KAOS-broadcasting-outpost-in-the-basement of-the-house-belonging-to-the-KAOS-agent-disguised-as-a-sweet-ol-lady trick! Third time I fell for it this month!"

"Es tut mir leid, Oberführer." This from Mary who stood near the east wall before a control panel. "I oped to zatisvy zheir curiosity vy inviting zhem in und putting zheir zuspicions to vest but das Mädchen vas shmarter zhan I thot."

The leader tilted his head back, his monocle turning into a silvery flash from the lights above as he thought a moment before saying.

"Aaaah!" he leaned forward looking closely at 99. "No doubt, ju discovered zhe chimney vas not totally sealed ja—?" Without waiting for an answer, the man nodded his widow peaked head seemingly with approval as he elaborated, pointing at the ceiling with the end cap of his baton. "—Unavoidable flaw I admit. Ve could not afvord to seal off zhe chimney as it vas crucial to ensure it remained unubstructed vor zhe antenna's deployment. Zherefore, ve had to leave a maintenance door of a sort. Zhere ees another vun on zhe second floor. Ve made zhem as undetectable as possible but—apparently not enough."

"Wait!" 99 exclaimed, her eyes wide. "How did you know who we were?!"

Mary answered, gesturing at Max with her Luger.

"I vecognized zis dummkopf from vun of your shtupid fan magazines! Popular Espionage. Somesing shtupid avout—." Mary gave a low, cackling dry laugh that echoed in the basement sending icy tendrils down the spines of Max and 99 with its absolute lack of mirth. "—Shpy of Zhe Year!"

All the KAOS agents laughed and guffawed at this and as 99 squeezed her eyes shut in dismay, leaning her head back, Max turned to Mary and declared.

"Bet you realize your mistake in outsmarting and capturing us NOW!" Max nodded to punctuate the end of his sentence only to frown at what he just said.

Then, turning back to the leader, Max demanded. "Okay, you seem to know everything about us? Let's get to the part where you tell us who you are."

"Quite right Mister Shmart!" the leader declared pacing slightly before them, his boots clopping sharply on the concrete floor. "Currently, I am simply KAOS' President of Espionage und Communications. But zhat ees a meaningless title compared to who und VHAT I vas und vhat I STILL conzider myself to be."

The leader turned to his captive audience and this time, clicked his heels together with a sharp clack, followed by a curt bow as he declared.

"Oberführer Hendrik Streckenbach von Graf of zhe Reichssicherheitshauptamt, Amt VI—at your service."

99's mesmerizingly beautiful eyes widened, her smooth lips parting slightly at what the leader had declared.

"Ha! Never heard of ya!" Max declared thrusting his face forward.

"Ex-ZACTLY vhat I intended!" von Graf declared but determined not to be out done, Max maintained a look of unbridled smugness and leaned back, crossing his legs and casually placing an elbow on the top of his chair's back as a display of careless confidence as he declared.

"So! The…" he was cut off as he almost fell sideways out of his chair for his elbow slipped off the chair's back but he quickly recovered and decidedly wisely to cross his arms instead. "…So! The notorious Reichssicherheitshauptamt, otherwise known as, the Reich Main Security office."

"Ju are not a complete dummkopf as I suspected Shmart!" von Graf smiled with approval. "A student of histoly I see!"

"No, just a fan." Max shrugged.

"Of histoly?"

"Old movies."

99 frowned, leaning her head towards Max's shoulder, her shoulder length bob falling in a soft cascade over his suit jacket as she addressed the Oberführer.

"Wait. Amt VI. You mean _Office_ seven? The foreign intelligence office?"

Max gave a lopsided smile as he nodded his head at 99 admitting.

"She's the student."

"Correct!" von Graf flicked his baton at 99 and continued his pacing as he spoke. "Long bevore zhe var und thru' it, I sought, collected, analyzed und provided the Reich vith intelligence eet needed to accomplish eet's military victories und objectives. I planted intelligence assets in almost every country in Europe all zhe vay to zhe Pacific und Middle East as vell as every Allied country. I knew every troop, ship and armor deployment in Denmark und Norvay, enabling Operation Weserübung to be completed successfully een just two months! My spies provided detailed veapon, aircraft, tank und troop complements vhich resulted een zhe fall of France und zhe low countries een just over a month! Achievements dat earned me a few of these, presented to me by mein Führer himself." Von Graf pointed with two gloved fingers to the grey Iron Cross held at his throat between his gorget patches by the neck hugging ribbon under the collar.

99 recognized it as the Knight's Cross of the Iron Cross and though she could not make out the year stamped on it, she could see that the ring which the ribbon looped through bore Oak Leaves with a pair of cross swords soldered to the base of the leaves.

"Zhere vas not a place ve did not infiltrate," the black uniformed leader continued "not a secret ve did not know! Ve even had intelligence azzets vight inside zhe U.S ensuring Reich victory over your forces in numerous engagements all over zhe vorld!"

"You can't expect us to believe that." 99 challenged softly. "Your largest team of spies in the States was routed out and arrested even before the war began. How could they have provided you with ANY intelligence during the war?"

Von Graf's eye behind his monocle was hidden by the glare it reflected from the lights but his other eye glittered with a vibrant intelligence as he addressed 99.

"I take it you are referring to zhe so-called Duquesne Spy ving?"

"That's right."

Von Graf chuckled brightly twirling the black baton in his gloved fingers, the silver on it flashing in the light as he said.

"It vut surprise you zhen zhat _I_ vas zhe vun who proposed und supervised zhe creation of zhe Duquesne Spy ving und orchestrated zheir infiltration und placements eento strategic employment. I pursuaded my superiors und mein Führer to haf the Abwehr run the operation vut it vas veally, Amt VI who vas controllink zhem."

"Well you clearly didn't do a very good job cause they were all caught!" Max scoffed before hesitating and leaning over to 99 whispering. "They were all caught right?"

"Yes Max!" 99 nodded repeatedly as though reasserting a point he had come up with first, before looking back at von Graf. "One of your own men, William Sebold betrayed your entire ring to the FBI! He became a double agent to identify and help entrap and convict the entire group."

"Exactly—as Amt VI planned." Von Graf's smile made his non-monocle eye glittered even more.

"What?!" 99 exclaimed. "You're lying!"

The Oberführer's laughter echoed through the entire basement as he leaned his head back, while Storch, Mary and Riehm grinned and chuckled along at the CONTROL agents' confusion.

Still smiling broadly, von Graf continued.

"Am I? You see, it vas _I_ who selected Sebold. I studied his psychological profile most carefully und I knew zhat given zhe right pressure, he vould capitulate und turn traitor. Vhich vas vhat Amt VI vanted. I even ensured zhat he vas presented zhe perfect opportunity by passing down instructions to zhe Abwehr agents in contact vith him in Mülheim to steal his passport. This necessitated his visit to zhe U.S Consulate in Cologne vhere as I calculated, he broke down und told the consulate personnel of his espionage mission."

99's eyes widened in disbelief as she began to realize what the Oberführer was implying.

"Zhis so called spy ving," von Graf smiled "vas nothing vut a large scale diversionary tactic to lull your government into a false sense of security! To make you THINK zhat you had stluck a crippling blow to zhe Reich's espionage orparations in your country. Even the Abwehr zhemselves had no idea zhey vere being used as a front! Ho! HOOOO!—Zhey vere not happy believe me vhen zhey found out eventually vut ve simply told zhem— _talk to zhe_ _Führer_ —vich of course nobody zared to. So Amt VI's scheme verked! Vhile your FBI basked in zheir false victory, our greatest intelligence assets remained UN-detected, vun of zhem vight inside your Department of Var und later zhe Pentagon vhen zhey finally got dat monstrosity built!"

"That's ridiculous!" Max declared "There's no WAY you could have ever infiltrated the Pentagon!"

"On zhat note! Allow me to present, a true icon of zhe Third Reich— veteran espionage operative of first, zhe Nachrichtenstelle für den Orient zhen zhe Sicherheitsdienst des Reichsführers-SS und later Amt VI, my most honored colleague und—" von Graf declared stretching out a black leather clad arm and indicating with his baton while pointing in the same direction open handed with his other gloved hand. "—spying on you since 1932— Maritta Schulz Kleinheisterkamp!"

Max and 99's gaze followed the pointing baton with the latter realizing that in-addition to the ornate silver endcaps that glittered along their circumferences with what must be hundreds of diamonds, the black shaft of the baton itself were studded with silver Iron Crosses, Wehrmacht eagles and Balkenkreuzs which stood out boldly against the ebony shaft. Her gaze finally followed the baton to Mary whose chilling smile at that moment was terrifying enough to make a feral wolf whimper and undertake a long desperate attempt to find its mother.

"No vun zuzpects zhe cleaning lady." she states

"Und incidentally she ees also vun of zhe oldest serving KAOS agents today! Her achievements just keeps on coming!" von Graf pointed added.

"Speaking of—" Max pointed out. "—you're awfully SPRY for an eighty year ol!"

All the KAOS agents sniggered and Mary or Maritta as it turned out, grinned.

"Ah!" she said. "Ju haf ziscovered my secret! I am not veally eighty years old.—"

Max tilted his head back, mouthing the word _Ah_ knowingly at the confirmation of his suspicion only to have his eyes pop again in disbelief as Maritta continued.

"—I am zeventy-nine."

Max and 99 stared at her again in disbelief.

"Vitamine." Maritta replied simply.

As Max and 99 blinked and turned to each other, von Graf elaborated.

"So vhile your FBI vasted all zheir resources, efforts und time on gazherink evidence und bringing zhe Duquesne spies to court, believing zhey had all vut destroyed zhe Reich's espionage oparations in your country—." von Graf bent slightly again towards the CONTROL agents as he pointed at Maritta with the silver end cap of his baton. "—Maritta vas shuffling along the corvidors of your most secure installation, undetected, gaining every vun's trust und acceptance as hard verking, kindly, harmless, sveet old, cookie distributing, vidowed Irish immigrant Mary O'Dowling living by herself here in this quvaint little house, perpetuating the image of zhe perfect, generous, velcoming Amelican neighbor playing bridge, baking apple strudle, chocolate chip cookees and pies, all the vhile siphoning U.S military secrets vight unzer zhe nozes of your military!"

"What sort of secrets?!" Max demanded. "For all ve…WE know, you're just making everything up!"

"Vhere to begin?" von Graf pretentiously leaned back and looked up at the ceiling, holding his baton by the silver endcaps as he made a dramatic show of attempted recollection. "Ah! Remember the Allies' humiliating defeat in Tunisia? Maritta obtained crucial intelligence on troop strengths, deployments and battle plans from zhe Pentagon, facilitating the Reich's easy victory over your forces at the Battle of Kasserine Pass. Did you ever vundered how ten and a half thousand Allied troops failed utterly to retake the port of Dieppe een France vhen confronted vy less zhan two thousand of owver soldiers? Ve knew generally through owver French double agents zhat zhe Allies vere intervested in zhe port but Maritta uncovered zhe Allies' plans for zhe Dieppe Raid just five days before its execution, giving her time to transmit it to Amt VI und I vas able to varn our troops of zhe EXACT date und time of zhe attack, resulting in France remaining in the Reich's control for another two years. Even tovards zhe end of zhe var in 1944, your troops failed completely for three months to breach owver defenses een zhe Hürtgen Forest vecause Maritta managed to transmit almost daily reports passing through zhe Pentagon on troop movements zhere, which enabled us to hold onto zhe area for owver Operation Vatch on zhe Rhine."

99 turned to Maritta who was leaning against the wall control panel, smiling away with her Luger cradled in her left elbow.

"So you were lying when you spoke about Liam? Did you even have a husband? Or was he a spy too?" she asked

"Oh no, zhat vas true." Maritta declared with a tilt of her white haired head. "How do you think I managed to infiltrate your country undetected? Zhe Nachrichtenstelle für den Orienthad infiltrated me eento Ireland in 1913 vhere zhey targetted Liam O'Dowling, a most handsome vut absolute dummkopf. It vas easy to seduce und marry him thus becoming Mary O'Dowling after vhich I convinced him to migrate to zhe U.S. I even convinced him to fight in zhe first var to defend _zhe country who gave us owver new life_ avay from the conflicts of his homeland vith zhe British, leaving me free to carry out zhe Nachrichtenstelle's plans to run guns to India. Zhat did not vork out vell but luckily I vemained undetected. Vut _unluckily_ Liam survived zhe var! Vith the disgraced state that Germany vas left in after zhe virst var, I vasn't about to veturn home. So I had to continue playing zhe loving vife for zhe next two decades or so. Luckily zhe Nachrichtenstelle kept zhe operation so secret no vun ever discovered my location until Oberführer von Graf."

"How did you keep your spying from him during the second war?" 99 wondered

"Oh on zhat I did lie." Maritta admitted. "Liam passed a lot earlier zhan I said. Vhen Oberführer von Graf contacted me een 1932 und brought me eento zhe folds of Amt VI, I knew I could not carry out my duties vith zhat idiot husband of mine around. Und he vas too old vy zhen to fight in another var. So, it vas so fortunate zhat shortly before zhe var began, Liam had an unfortunate fall down zhe stairs und bloke ees neck."

99 and Max stared at Maritta suspiciously until the aged spy shrugged nonchalantly and added.

"Oookay, I might haf given him a little push."

While 99 gasped in shock and dismay, Max sighed, throwing up his hands and addressed their KAOS captors.

"All right! That's it! History lesson over! You are ALL under arrest!"

The entire basement echoed with the raucous laughter of every one of their captors in response to Max's ludicrous declaration and even the static vulture on the KAOS plaque looked slightly bemused.

"Und how do you propose to do zhat?" von Graf laughed. "You are outnumbered, outgunned."

"That's what YOU think!" Max said sitting up straight. "You see, the moment I suspected this house of being your secret radio base, I immediately informed our Chief of where we were. So—right at this VERYMOMENT—this house is being surrounded by FIFTY fully armed CONTROL agents! Would you believe it? FIFTY CONTROL agents!"

"I find zhat hard to believe." Von Graf shook his head, his monocle flashing with light from the ceiling.

Max frowned before trying again.

"Oh. Would you believe—THIRTY CONTROL agents?"

"I don't think so."

"Twenty?"

"No."

"How bout one police officer with four angry girl scouts hell bent on collecting money owed to them for cookie sales?"

As 99 sighed, rolling her eyes to the left, her ribs throbbing, the Oberführer smiled.

"As delightful as it haz been recalling zhe good ol days, zhe time has come to say good bye."

99 took a deep breath, bracing herself as Max said.

"Oh well, that's ok, it's been a great afternoon. We'll show ourselves out."

Taking 99's gloved hand both of them rose from their seats and of course was only met with the barrel of Storch's MP40 being levelled at them along with Riehm's Walther P38 and Maritta's Luger P08, safeties clicking off.

Momentarily freezing, Max and 99 slowly lowered themselves back into their chairs with 86 declaring.

"But this is so much fun I think we can stay a little longer."

Von Graf laughed dryly again before assuring.

"Not to vorry. I von't kill you both yet, until you have vitnessed our latest triumph against your country."

"You DO know that the war has been over for over twenty years and you've lost despite all your spies and so called intel." Max smirked. "The only thing you've succeeded in doing is ensuring I never look at sweet ol ladies the same way again!"

As Max squinted again in retrospect at what he just said, von Graf turned towards the massive shortwave equipment behind him.

"Hensel! Are zhe schematics veady for transmission?"

"Jawohl!" Hensel from his console confirmed.

"Gut!" Von Graf turned back to the CONTROL agents. "And vith regards to vhat you said about zhe var. Ja, you are correct. Intelligence alone cannot vin a var. You need leaders who vould listen to it und plan accorzingly.—" The Oberführer sighed and shrugged, causing the leather of his tunic to creak. "—Undfortunately, both my superiors und mein Führer made mistakes vhen zhey didn't' listen to my counsel on certain crucial issues. Not invading RUSSIA for vun! Und for anozher antagonizing zhe U.S und bringink zhem eento zhe var." With a flick of his baton, von Graf pointed out. "Vut, zhat second vun is not veally my fault. Mein Führer listened to me und convinced zhe Italians to do zhe same. Unfortunately zhe Japanese did NOT get zhe memo! Zhough later, I vealized it vas a British spy who infiltrated zhe Japanese High Command und to divert suspicion from himself, personally orzered zhe attack on Pearl HARBOR!" von Graf growled shaking his baton as he reflected on history. "Ooooh if I ever get my hands on him!"

While Max and 99 exchanged a glance, von Graf regained his composure and focused on them again through monocle and without.

"Vut back to zhe point. Yes Shmart, zhe Reich did loose zhe var. Vut only on zhe battlefields. MY var against zhe U.S for zheir part in ruining Nazi Germany, vill continue from zhe shadows!" Von Graf tilted his grey head as he shook his baton, emphasizing a point, his monocle flashing. "Vhile obviously, a unified Nazi nation is beyond our grasp—VENGEANCE ees not! Vith zhe resources of KAOS, I shall bring zhe U.S to its knees! Once KAOS International receives the plans of your Project Phalanx und sells zhem to your enemies, it vill begin zhe shift in zhe balance of military might een zhe vorld! Just zhe first of many steps I intend to take to slowly PUSH zhat balance to zhe advantage of your enemies till your country of kapitalists und veak villed playboys lay in ashes! Und I vill do it vithout a single Panzer!"

"Sore loser!" Max scoffed

"Arnheiter!" von Graf called, ignoring Max's last remark. "Vaise zhe antenna!"

"Ja Oberführer!" Arnheiter acknowledged and flipped a switch on his console.

Max and 99 watched helplessly as a rectangular section of concrete in the ceiling directly over the antenna slides aside. Another two switches flipped by Arnheiter brought about a mechanical humming as the telescoping antenna extended, rising up into the aperture in the ceiling. Unseen, the antenna continued to extend smoothly up the flue. Outside, the antenna rises out of the chimney till all the dipoles on it were above the chimney line before stopping.

"You're bluffing von Graf!" Max declared "We KNOW all your transmissions are sent at midnight! If you transmit now, no one at KAOS International will be listening! You'll never be able to transmit Project Phalanx before CONTROL finds you! And sooner than later, we WILL find a way to jam your transmissions! It's over!"

"Oh far from it!" von Graf responded unperturbed as Hensel begins turning knobs with both hands, tuning the shortwave. "I have long ago learned of zhat draw back during our campaigns in Africa and zhe Middle East vhere owver spies vith crucial intel had to vait too long to transmit zhem. You'll be pleased to know, KAOS takes espionage even more seriously und vith my new protocols, KAOS International has shifts of agents listening AROUND zhe CLOCK in case of emergencies. Transmitting at midnight ees just a precaution to remain undetected. Something vhich vont matter at zhis time. After owver transmission, ve vill shift our oparation to our alternate location und continue our verk. Hensel! Contact KAOS International und confirm zhey are receiving us."

"Jawohl!" Hensel nodded and flipped a few switches.

Max and 99 could hear the high pitch sounds of the transmission coming from the console. 99's heart beat faster in her chest realizing there was basically nothing they could do to stop the enemy agents.

Out at the Sunbeam Tiger, the KX-A1 in the mechanical hand begins beeping rapidly and with a slight adjustment by the robot hand in its aim, the beeping becomes a continuous tone. The robot hand's index finger pulls the trigger switch to emit the VHF bursts.

"Signal is stable Oberführer." Hensel reported listening through his headphones. "Avaiting confirmation from KAOS International."

"Wait! I don't understand something!" 99 spoke up making von Graf turn to her. "How could a loyal Nazi like you, subscribing to world order ruled by a racial hierarchy dominated by a Nordic master race, opposed to global proliferation of inferior races, free market capitalism and international socialism come to join KAOS? They're just a profit driven international organization of evil, aimed at causing revolt and disorder throughout the world!"

"KAOS International is receiving us, signal-to-noise ration optimum." Hensel confirmed. "Should I…"

Von Graf raised his baton indicating to the KAOS agent to wait and addressed 99.

"An interesting qvestion! It may surprise you to know zhat German intelligence, dating back to zhe first var has alvays known about KAOS. Oh zhey vere vather unknown at first vhen zhey first formed in Bucharest in 1904 vut about a decade later, ve began to take notice of zhem. I vemember as a young intelligence oparative in zhe Sicherheitsdienst, coming across files and detailed reports in our archives by zhe Nachrichtenstelle für den Orient. Even zhen zhe Nachrichtenstelle noted zhat zhey vere a fast growing netwerk vith agents stationed in many parts of zhe vorld vith rapidly evolving espionage capabilities und most importantly—zhe same disdain for zhe vest zhat ve had."

In the Chief's office back at CONTROL, Hodgkins rushes in, piece of paper in hand, his eyes wide and haggard cheeks trembling.

"Chief! Professor Carleton just called! CONTROL Central has detected the KAOS transmission again!"

"What?!" the Chief exclaimed jumping to his feet. "That can't be! It's nowhere near midnight! Something must have happened! They're transmitting early!"

"That's not all Chief!" Hodgkins continued looking on the verge of a panic attack. "The CONTROL Central indicates the signal this time is unscrambled!"

The Chief frowned before realization lights up his face.

"It's Max and 99! They've done it! Get me his shoe phone!"

"I tried Chief," Hodgkins reported handing the Chief a piece of paper. "but it seems to be out of order! But with the signal unscrambled, Professor Carleton was able to pinpoint its source! Here's the address."

The Chief grabbed the paper and his expression was a conflict of joy and concern.

"Something must have gone wrong! Max and 99 could be in danger." The Chief declared. "But most of our men are STILL out searching for evidence from the delis and the delivery service. Hodgkins, whose back?"

"I saw Agent Thirty-Four and maybe three others."

Before the Chief could continue, the door to the office slides open again and this time, Professor Carleton rushes in, even more flustered than Hodgkins, his bald pate glistening with sweat as he declares.

"Chief! We've made some progress on the KAOS transmission!"

"You mean you can jam it from here now?!" the Chief asked hopefully

"Afraid not!" Carleton explained. "But I might be able to do something if we're close enough! We're working on modifying a KX-A1 now with some new configurations. Just another fifteen minutes and we'll have it ready!"

"No time!" the Chief declares "We have to leave now! Max and Ninety-Nine might be in danger and we may be able to seize control of the base and equipment itself! Professor, get whatever you need. You're coming with us!"

As Carleton nods and runs back to the lab, the Chief turns back to his assistant.

"Alright!" The Chief instructed running to the door and pulling Hodgkins with him, threatening to push the assistant's blood pressure to critical even without sodium infused pastrami. "I'm heading over to the address with them now. You get in touch with the rest of our men and tell them to head over the moment any of them finish processing their assigned locations!"

Thanks for making it this far! Hope you're enjoying the story.

Just one translation here:

Maritta (alias Mary) to Von Graf:

"Es tut mir leid, Oberführer."

 _I am sorry,_ _Oberführer._


	8. Chapter 8 KAOtic Comms

**CHAPTER 8 KAOtic Comms**

"I vead every report I could find on KAOS." Von Graf continued his story. "Und vunce I reached a position vith sufficient authority, I ensured dat I had sufficient intelligence assets in Bucharest und all over zer vorld, monitoring zheir activities at all times. I saw zer possibility of an alliance vith zhem for zer var. Vith zheir netverk und infiltration capabilities, supported vy zer resources of zer Reich, I saw a whole new theatre of engagement.—" the Oberführer paused focusing his flashing monocle on the CONTROL agents. "—Vith KAOS cooperation, abilities und resources, ve could strike at Amelika's cities, factories, shipyards, powver plants, reservoirs! Ve could cripple zheir economy und lay vaste to zheir homes vhile owver troops continue to engage zhem on zhe battlefields, thus crushing zhem on two fronts!"

Von Graf then straightened and sighed shrugging.

"Vut alas, my superiors had less vision und believed it vould be a vaste of time. Alzhoug, late in zhe var, vhen it vas too late, mein Führer did launch such an oparation as I had proposed earlier, vut vithout zhe knowledge, expertise und alliance of KAOS, it ultimately failed." Von Graf then brightens shaking the silver endcap of his baton as he kept talking and pacing while Max and 99 listened on. "Vut my superiors reticence from early on, did not stop me from carrying out my own arrangements..."

"Oberführer, ve should transmit now." Maritta spoke up. "Ve risk being detected every minute ve vait…"

"Ja, ja, ja ve have time." Von Graf gestured with his baton hand dismissively. "As long as zhe scrambler verks ve are not in danger. Vhere vas I…ah yes! Utilizing missions vhich required me to travel zhe vorld to inspect our intelligence assets in place, I took the opportunity to travel to Bucharest vhere I made contact vith zhe top executives und leaders of KAOS. Ve spoke at length und it seems, zhey und I vere of the exact same mind! Zhey vere in full agreement to an alliance. Now even though zhe Reichssicherheitshauptamt did not approve of any collaboration vith KAOS, I secretly began to help zhem in zheir oparations, utilizing my own skills und knowledge in zhe intelligence field. I obtained for zhem vital information on locations of diamond mines in Africa vhich zhey could exploit to finance zheir oparations, I helped zhem set up untraceable Swiss bank accounts to launder money in vays even zhey did not know about. In other vords, I showed zhem zhat I vas invaluable to zhem in an alliance."

"Oberführer, there is…" Hensel said.

"But what was the point?!" 99 pressed on.

"Gees Ninety-Nine I never knew you were THIS interested in history?" Max frowned

"I'd like to know Max!" 99 insisted

"Und I shall tell you!' von Graf declared happily. "You see, long before zhe disastrous Oparation Vatch on zhe Rhine, as early as 1943, I had known zhat defeat vas a high possibility despite our Führer's valiant attempts to turn zhe tide und his stoic front before his officers. And I knew zhat vunce ve lost zhe var, I und every officer of zhe SS vould be hunted as criminals. So like any good intelligence oparative, I had my escape route planned. I alveady had dozens of passports of various countries, bearing different identities as vell as large sums of different currencies hidden avay for such a situation. So at zhe beginning of zhe year in 1945, as zhe Allies neared victory over our troops at zhe Rhine, I enacted my plan and escaped Germany in zhe night, ensuring zhat I had destroyed every record zhat I could of my existence within zhe Reich, as vell as all records of Maritta's existence, knowing zhat she vould be an invaluable asset to KAOS as vell, along with—a select others. I travelled to Bucharest und zhere, KAOS velcomed me into a long overdue alliance. Less zhan six months later, zhe var vas over. I remained safely hidden vy KAOS from the self-righteous crusades of zhe Allies. For zhe next tventy years, I aided KAOS in augmenting und developing zheir espionage, communications und intelligence gathering abilities making zhem eento zhe formidable force you know today."

"Alliance?" 99 frowned her delicate brows. "But you said you were their President of Espionage and Communications. That sounds like you work for them!"

"Ja! Ja!" the Oberführer nodded "Owver relationship evolved vith zhe times. After zhe virst five years, as much as I hate to admit it, I came to vealize—KAOS pays MUCH better zhan zhe Third Reich! You canNOT beat zheir benefits package! FULL dental plan including FREE dentures und..."

"Oberführer!" Hensel called out "Zumsing is vrong! I couldn't detect it bevore vut…our scrambler! Eeet haz veen compromised!"

All the KAOS agents snapped to a dangerously alert state while von Graf froze in his recounting, light flickering off his monocle as he held his baton. After a second, he pointed an endcap at Maritta.

"Maritta schnell! Go!"

Without a word, the aged KAOS agent ran to the stair case and raced up to the door, unhindered by age or her voluminous skirts, clunky shoes hammering the steps. As the door at the top opened and slammed shut behind her, von Graf shook his baton at 99.

"You ARE clever." He declared, with a chilling calmness. "Keeping me engaged avout a subject sooo dear to me to allow time for CONTROL to find us. Vhere is it! Zhe device you are using to disrupt our scrambler!"

"Her purse!" Riehm declared pointing to 99's purse which now lay on the nearby table along with an uneaten bag of sandwiches due to incorrect condiment accompaniment.

While his men kept 86 and 99 covered, von Graf stalked over to the table and searched the purse. It took only a second for him to come back with a small device which he shook at 99.

"Vhat is this?"

When 99 did not answer, von Graf tossed it to Hensel who caught it in his right hand without taking his eyes off the console and working the controls with his left.

"Vhat is it?! Ees it vhat's affecting the scrambler?!"

Hensel turned the object over in his hand examining it.

"No Oberführer. It's too small. It's not a homing or communications device ezher. I…I think it ees some form of remote control."

"Shut it off!"

Hensel clicked on the buttons.

"I can't! There must be some kind of security sequence! Even if ve destroyed it, vhat ever command it sent out earlier vould still ve unaffected!"

"Vhat ees zhe sequence?!" von Graf demanded and when 99 still refused to answer, he swung back his baton.

99 gasped turning her head and closing her eyes awaiting the baton to crash down on her. Max leaned over shielding her with putting an arm.

"All right von Graf! The girl doesn't know anything! I'M the one who activated the remote and put it into her purse! And you're right! There's nothing you can do to stop it! It's over!"

"Not quite Shmart!" von Graf growled. "Hensel! Can ve still transmit!"

"Jawohl!" Hensel confirmed "Vut vithout zhe scrambler zhey could track us und know vut ve are transmitting!"

"No matter! Do it!"

"Ja Oberführer!" Hensel acknowledged, his hands racing over the switches and buttons.

At the Sunbeam Tiger, a dark brown 1965 Chevelle Malibu SS396 Hardtop Coupe and light blue Renault 4, pulled up next to it. The Chief jumped out of the Chevelle Malibu with Agent 34 and two other CONTROL agent in fedoras and suits while Professor Carleton climbed out of his Renault 4 with a 4th agent. The Chief and Carleton ran up to the robot arm that still had the KX-A1 aimed at the KAOS house, the latter with another stainless steel attache case in one hand and a black rectangular plastic toolset case in the other.

"Is that the house?" the Chief asked and the robot arm 'nodded' with the KX-A1. "Alright, keep the KX-A1 trained on it! Profession Carleton! Get to work!" As the mechanical hand nodded again, Carleton set both cases on the bonnet of the Sunbeam Tiger, opening up the briefcase to reveal another KX-A1 and the toolset to display its pockets of sophisticated tools.

As the professor used a screwdriver from the toolset to begin adjusting the circuitry of the KX-A1 he bought with him, the Chief instructed the raiding party.

"Men! On foot! Thirty Four and Granger, you're with me. We'll take the front! You two, the back door. When you hear me whistle twice, we all burst in!"

The CONTROL agents all nodded and the group ran down the street using the other houses along the way as cover, Agent 34 armed with a Thompson submachine gun.

"You've had it von Graf!" Max insisted in the basement. "Our agents will be here any moment. Whether you succeed in transmitting Project Phalanx or not, you're through! Finished! Kaput! You're gonna spend the REST of your life in PRISON!"

"All zhe more you should not live to see zhat happen!" von Graf said signaling with his gloved hand so both Storch and Riehm raised their weapons at the CONTROL agents.

99 closes her eyes squeezing Max's left hand while he raises his other hand to the KAOS leader.

"On the other hand, there's no need to be so pessimistic."

"Do not let zhe harmless external appearance of our hideout fool you." Von Graf smiled coldly. "Ve vill haf enough time to make our transmission und escape."

Outside the Dutch colonial house, the two CONTROL agents assigned to the back, arrived, running onto the rear porch and flattened themselves on either side of the back door, with their snub-nosed revolvers ready.

Unfortunately what they did not know, was inside the house at both front and back doors at shin level, next to the door jamb on the side opposite the hinges where the door would open, was a modified M24 Stielhandgranate resting in 2 steel rings riveted to the wall, holding the stick grenade by its long handle with its dull green charge head pointing upwards. The modifications to these M24s consisted of a 1 second fuse instead of a 4 second one and the pull cord that ignited the grenade's fuse, which ran inside the hollow handle and emerged through the base, replaced by ones at least 2 ft long which now were stretched taut across the door just above the floor line, the other end tied to nails hammered into the edge of the door at the hinge side.

At the front door, the rest of the group arrived with the Chief and Granger taking up position on the right side of the door while 34 with Thompson submachine gun ready, on the right. Granger, snub-nosed revolver in hand, looked through the nearest window and shook his head at the Chief confirming he does not see anyone. The Chief nodded, his 4 inch light barreled, S&W Model 10 in hand, put his fingers to his lips and emitted two sharp whistles.

34 and one of the agents at the back, kicked in their respective doors, shattering the locks. As the doors swung open, they yanked on the pull cords stretched across them which in turn, dragged the rough steel rods they were attached to inside the grenade, producing unseen spark and flames that lit the fuse.

The two agents at the back proceeded along the north and east walls, revolvers at eye level while in the living room, 34 was the first one in submachine gun pressed to his shoulder, sighting down the barrel as he proceeded along the west wall towards the staircase while Granger led the way along the southern wall, revolver aimed at eye level as the Chief followed closely behind him aiming his revolver at the wall with the chimney flute.

It was the Chief's experienced senses and sharp peripheral vision that made him turn to see the Stielhandgranate in the steel rings at the door jamb.

"Grenade!" he barely had time to yell as he leaped forward knocking Granger down just as both grenades erupted thunderously, shaking the walls and blasting every window on the ground floor outwards, showering the surroundings with thousands of glass shards and splinters.

The two agents in the kitchen closer to their grenade were thrown through the air, bones in their bodies shattering from the concussive shock wave which also reduced a section of the northern wall on the side of the grenade to a 8ft by 5 ft gaping hole while the table in the center of the kitchen simply turned into a blossom of wooden splinters which flung in every direction including out the open door on the left of the chimney breast, into the living room. The agent at the east wall crashed down into the overhead kitchen cabinets there along with showers of wooden fragments from the northern wall and the kitchen table, his already shattered body smashing them to bits and spilling ingredients stored inside which followed his lifeless body as it struck the counter and rolled off dropping to the floor while his colleague struck the protruding rectangle which housed the doorway to the basement, breaking more bones in his fortunately already lifeless body before hitting the floor with wooden fragments and splinters showering down on him.

At the same time in the living room, as a gaping oval shaped hole appeared in the side of the door on the side of the grenade, the shockwave reduced one of the heavy arm chairs to an expanding mass of wooden and cushion fragments and bits while the other arm chair slightly further away had its entire back disintegrated and the table in between them shattered into splinters, all showering the entire living room while the sofa rocked as layers of its cushion were ripped off by the force. 34 flew through the air, submachine gun flying out of his hands and landing near the west wall just before he landed on the staircase with wooden fragments, glass shards, cushion stuffing raining down on his inert form.

In the basement, Max and 99 looked up at the ceiling in shock at the sound of the explosions.

In the living room, 34 laid on the staircase unmoving, trench coat spread about him covered in debris while the Chief on the floor slowly turned over onto his back, fragments of furniture fabric, wood and cushion sliding off his back. His eyes were closed while agony contorted his features together with disorientation. Granger at the east wall and farthest from the blast gets up, debris falling from his body, revolver in hand just slightly stunned thanks to the Chief's reflexes in knocking him down. He looked around at the shattered windows, fallen comrades and devastation. Before he could move to their aid, a movement caught his eye and he turned, revolver raised to see what appeared to be a sweet old lady, with silvery hair pulled back tightly in a bun, shawl draped over her shoulders appear from behind the sofa which was still largely intact for some reason.

"Hello deary." The sweet old lady quavered and smiled where she crouched and Granger realized too late she was aiming an MP40 submachine gun at him.

Granger's trigger finger did not have time to tighten before the MP40 roared continuously, muzzle flashing. 9mm Parabellum rounds shattered Granger's chest, erupting from his back in multiple bloody star shaped explosions that painted a large spot on the east wall as he convulsed under rain of metallic death.

Across the street at the Ackleberries, Claire and her husband Roger sat in wide armchairs both staring at the television, showing a rerun of an episode of The Tonight Show with starring Johnny Carson. As the roar of the machine gun fire reached them, 78 yr old Claire said without taking her eyes off the tv.

"Roger. Now there's machine gun fire coming from Mary's too."

Roger at 85 years old, sagging in his armchair and staring at the t.v through thick glasses replied in a similar fashion.

"I hope it doesn't put holes in that sweater she promised me."

"Or the apple strudel I gave her earlier." Added Claire. "That way I can still give it to Sal and Betty up at 10th avenue if she don't need it anymore."

99's face turned pale as she looked at the ceiling while roar of the machine gun fire permeated into the basement.

"You know you guys have a LOT to learn about being neighborly!" Max declared with a decisive nod at his captors.

"Transmission in progress!" Hensel reported.

"How long till completion?" von Graf asked

"Four minutes Oberführer!" answered Hensel the lights and readings on the control panel reflecting on his glasses.

At the Sunbeam Tiger, sparks burst out of the circuitry of the KX-A1 still in the briefcase which Carleton was working on and he yelled in pain dropping his screw driver and shaking his hand.

"Dammit! The polar resistances are too high!" Carleton exclaimed and the robot hand 'nodded' quickly flicking the KX-A1 it was holding up and down, its servos whining excitedly.

"You're right!" Carleton exclaimed. "Quick! Lemme hold onto that!"

Carleton took the KX-A1 the robot hand was holding and he aims it in the direction of the house, keeping his finger on the trigger switch while handing the robot hand another screwdriver. As the mechanical hand began making adjustments to the second KX-A1, sparks kept bursting out but the robot hand continued working, unaffected.

"Vell Shmart." Von Graf said turning to his captives. "I vould like to say parting is such sveet sorrow but I vould be lying." A maniacal grin spread across his face and light flashed off his monocle while his other eye glittered with cold menace as he declared. "In this case—I am absolutely—EUPHORIC!"

Max leaned forward and turned his head slightly to cast a sidewise glance at the Oberführer as he asked.

"Enough to let us go with a stern verbal warning?"

"Nein."

"How bout' a written reprimand?"

"Max!" 99 exclaimed pouting and stomping her kidskin go-go boot on the concrete floor. "This is just absolutely ridiculous! It's time you put your foot down on the matter!"

Von Graf squinted at 99's strange comment while Storch and Riehm awaited their orders, weapons primed.

"Ninety-Nine!" Max hissed "These KAOS agents have GUNS and they're about to SHOOT us! I think we need a little more than a strong assertion of our position to dissuade them NOT to!"

"But Max!" 99 insisted with a lowered voice but intense glare of her mesmerizing blue eyes. "I really THINK you should try putting your FOOT down! Maybe it might work!"

"Ninety-Nine!" Max rolled his eyes. "Would you listen to yourself? When has…"

Max stopped in mid eye roll and brought them into focus.

"Yes! Yes Ninety-Nine!" Max declared turning to von Graf. "That's it von Graf! This has gone far enough! I am putting my foot DOWN on this!"

"Shoot zhem." Von Graf ordered with flat satisfaction. Storch and Riehm's fingers tightened on their weapons triggers just as Max lifted his left foot and stomped his shoe hard onto the concrete floor.

A soft dull boom sounded making the KAOS agents halt reflectively to see what was happening and their eyes popped as thick white smoke billowed out from the heel of Max's left shoe. The startled agents took a step back in reflex and Max immediately kicked his left foot out flinging the shoe off and sending it flying in the air.

Again, the three closest KAOS agents gawked at the bizarre sight as the shoe flew into the air, tumbling end over leaving a curving trail of billowing white smoke with von Graf and Storch actually turning away to see where the flying footwear was going out of a mixture of disbelief and concern over their precious shortwave equipment—which gave Max the opportunity to launch out of his seat at Storch's back, his right knife hand landing in a loud thud at the base of the KAO's agent's neck on the right side then again on the left. At the same time, the flying shoe landed on the top of the base cylinder of the shortwave and bounced off, still pouring out white smoke which immediately began to flood the enclosed northern end of the basement. Hensel and Arnheiter yelled out in alarm, coughing and fanning in vain at the smoke as they could not see the controls.

As Storch convulsed in agony sinking to his knees, Riehm swung his Walther P38 at Max only to have 99 swing her arm out to her left, cringing at the sharp pain in her side. Her forearm slammed into the angular jawed agent's ribs doubling him over and allowing 99 to leap to her feet.

"Max! Look out!" 99 yelled as her own knife hand strike landed on the back of Riehm's lowered neck and he crumpled to the concrete.

Max froze turning as he reached for Storch's fallen MP40 to see von Graf unbuckling the flap of his holster, baton still gripped in his left gloved hand. Realizing the MP40 was on the floor trapped under Storch's heavy body, Max swung back and grabbed hold of the chair he had been sitting on by the sides of the chair's back, sweeping the furniture off the floor in a smooth continuous movement, building up the momentum to smash it into von Graf's back just as his Luger cleared its holster. The chair exploded with the force into a dozen fragments and the Oberführer was hurled forward to land face down on the concrete floor with a loud frump, dozens of pieces of broken chair raining down on his leather tunic and the concrete around him.

As 99 snatched up Riehm's fallen P38, Storch pushed himself to his knees shaking his head to clear it and immediately grabbed at his MP40 on the floor below him.

"Ninety-Nine! Upstairs! Help our men!" Max yelled as he lunged over and stomped his right shoe onto the MP40's receiver, pinning it and Storch's fingers to the floor. As the KAOS agent roared in pain yanking his fingers out, 99 responded as she dashed for the stairs at the western wall.

"Right Max!"

Storch launched to his feet grabbing Max by his jacket front and shoving the smaller man back a few feet before Max managed to bring his own arms up, knocking the KAOS's man's grip loose before ducking under a right cross and delivering a right hook into the bigger man's solar plexus just as he heard 99's go-go boots thumping swiftly up the stairs.

Storch staggered without doubling over and followed up with a left punch which Max blocked on his right forearm and countered with a left cross the jaw that snapped the man's head to the left. Max's right fist whipped through the air hammering across Storch's jaw from the other direction and the taller KAOS agent twisted around, head leading before falling face down to the concrete in an unmoving heap.

Max lunged for the MP40 but this time shots rang out and bits of concrete exploded out from around his feet, one just missing his sock clad left foot forcing him to back away from the weapon. Arnheiter came stumbling out from the smoke, Walther P38 in right hand, still firing wildly eyes closed and his other arm over his face to shield him from the smoke.

As the KAOS agent was still aiming roughly at the MP40, he could not risk going for it so Max ran at Arnheiter delivering a knife hand strike to the KAOS agent's wrist, sending the P38 falling to the concrete. Immediately Arnheiter lunged out grabbing Max by the shoulders and the two agents struggled.

In the living room, Maritta's clunky shoes crunched over the fragments of wood, leather and armchair stuffing to see the Chief about 10 ft away on the floor on his back, eyes still closed but arms reaching weakly in the air as though he could find some miracle handhold with which to pull himself up.

"Zhis vuns for zhe master race." Maritta uttered as she aimed her MP40.

The door to the basement flew open and 99 emerged into the kitchen. Immediately she found herself looking through the open door that was on the left of the chimney breast which they had been brought through earlier and saw Maritta in the living room taking aim with her submachine gun.

Without any time to take in the carnage in the kitchen itself, 99 dashed over the 10 ft of space between her and the door to the living room, P38 in her raised hand, her kidskin boots crunching the wooden debris strewn all over the kitchen floor. But Maritta saw her in her peripheral vision and again with speed that belied her age dropped down and rolled towards the sofa as the P38 in 99's hand flashed twice, the bullets speeding through the space occupied by Maritta just a fraction of a second ago to hit the southern wall.

99 reached the kitchen door and dropped down into a crouch to the left of it just as Maritta came up at the front of the sofa using it as a cover, one knee on the seat as her MP40 droned away. Fragments of brick from the chimney breast bordering the door on its right exploded outwards. 99 jerked further away from the door jamb as bits of brick flew through into the kitchen spilling over the floor, bricks mingling with wood fragments.

In the basement, Arnheiter growled holding Max by the lapels of his suit jacket and whipped him into the control panels on the west wall. Max could feel the control panel surface buckling against his back and agony shot through him as he pushed back at Arnheiter.

Storch regained consciousness again to see Arnheiter still struggling with the CONTROL agent, Riehm still unconscious along with the Oberführer.

Arnheiter grappling with Max looked over his shoulder at Storch and yelled.

"Geh hinauf! Töte das Mädchen!"

Max pinned against the control panel, trying in vain to break Arnheiter's grip felt his blood ran cold as Storch responded to whatever Arnheiter said by grabbing up his MP40 and charging back to the staircase. The KAOS's agent's boots hammering the wooden stairs made his heart stop with every thump.

Maritta's MP40 roared on and the continuous hail of 9mm Parabellum sent chunks of bricks showering out from the chimney breast near the door. Abruptly the bricks stopped blasting outwards as a loud click ended the death song of the MP40.

"Scheißen!" Maritta cursed pulling at the charging handle.

99 hearing the metallic clicks swung around the door jamb in a crouch, pain squeezing her ribcage. Maritta was hidden by the couch but 99 fired 3 times at the sofa's back which was facing her, expecting the 9mm Parabellums to penetrate the furniture easily at that range.

She was shocked to hear a combination of a dull thud and a metallic thump as the bullets impacted. Focusing on the sofa's back, 99 saw the thorn fabric where the bullets hit and the grey plating beneath it!

"Armored furniture pretty!" Maritta cackled coldly as she tossed aside her MP40 and pulled out her Luger. "KAOS' most popular product!"

With that, she came up again, Luger P08 flashing repeatedly and 99 just barely had time to duck back behind the wall as brick fragments exploded off the chimney breast.

A loud repeated thumping drew 99's attention to the basement door just as Storch arrived at the top of the stairs. His MP40 levelled as he placed one boot into the kitchen but 99 already had her P38 aimed. Storch rocked on his boots as the first bullet struck his chest, drilling his lung, collapsing it and 99's P38 flashed twice more. The blond KAOS agent wheeled back as the 9mm Parabellums slammed into his heart and his other lung, exploding in bloody fountains out the back of his vest as he toppled backwards and hit the wooden stairs, rolling head over heels back down to the basement, MP40 dropping off the side of the stair case to the concrete floor below.

99 turned back to the door and saw Maritta running out in a flash of grey shawl and skirt, firing her Luger as she dashed towards the west wall. The bullets struck the door jamb sending wood splinters hitting 99 as she shielded herself with her arm. She then heard the clicking of the empty Luger and swung out again aiming her P38 just in time to see Maritta reach her objective—34's fallen Thompson submachine gun.

Maritta tossed aside her empty Luger and grabbed for the fallen submachine gun and 99 squeezed the trigger. A similar clicking from the P38's chamber stopped 99's breath and she found herself running into the living room towards Maritta.

The KAOS agent's hand right hand closed around the receiver of the Thompson and 99 gripping her empty Walther P38 by the barrel, threw the weapon at her as she ran. The makeshift missile, spinning end over end, struck Maritta's right hand making her hiss a curse jerking back reflectively before grabbing the pistol grip of the weapon in her right hand and the stock in her left. But her reaction had already given 99 the split second she needed to reach her.

Maritta straightened swinging the weapon to her right in the direction of her target but 99's left gloved hand reached out and grabbed the stock of the weapon in an underhanded grip near the barrel pushing it up. The KAOS agent squeezed the trigger and a line of bullets raced up the west wall all the way to the ceiling as 99 kept pushing the barrel upwards while grabbing the stock of the weapon in her right hand.

As Maritta snarled like a feral animal, 99 pressed against her realizing again the woman was more solid than anyone her age could be, but managed to force her to pivot her body so that both the Chief and 34 were out of the line of fire.

Maritta tightened her grip on the weapon but before she could force the barrel back down, 99 pulled with her left hand on the barrel and her right hand on the stock, turning the weapon counter-clockwise like a boat's wheel by its handles. The Thompson blazed all the way as Maritta's finger still jammed the trigger, bullets raking a line up the southern wall next to the door up to the ceiling. 99 continued to turn the weapon even as the chamber clicked empty midway across the ceiling, till the barrel was pointed back at the north wall causing Maritta's arms to cross over one another before she was lifted off her clunky shoes. The KAOS agent was thrown in a clumsy cartwheel through the air and landed hard on her left side on the debris strewn carpet, her feet pointed towards the north wall.

99 switched the empty Thompson in her hands to a proper hold with the pistol grip in her right gloved hand and stepped back, taking time to breathe deep as the ribcage throbbed in protest. But again, she was stunned at Maritta's reaction as the seventy-nine year old spy, instead of being knocked out by the impact of the impact which most normal people would have been, lunged up from the floor in a blur of flapping grey shawl and white blouse sleeve.

99 barely jumped back in time at the silvery flash of steel that appeared from nowhere in Maritta's long fingered hand and she heard a sharp rending of fabric. Maritta leaped to her feet and her right arm slashed at 99 rapidly with the 9 inch knife. 99 held the Thompson up horizontally above her head, blocking the constant downward slashes of the knife, noticing as she did, the horizontal slit that had appeared across the front of her pleated brown flare skirt revealing her lean thighs.

Maritta's face was a visage of vicious, cold bloodlust, eyes glittering like a predator, thin lips peeled back to reveal white teeth as her arm under her shawl hacked repeatedly with a speed that made her hand and the knife in it a blur of white and sliver. The constant metallic clang of blade on the Thompson's receiver rang through the house, sparks flying sometimes upon the impact. As 99 kept blocking and fought to breath with her ribcage singing in pain with every breathe, she could not help but notice that the knife Maritta clutched in her right fist had a simple flat handle, with 2 curves on one side to facilitate the grip of the fingers while the 9 inch blade was a symmetrical spear point. She knew if Max was here, he would make some joke about holding on to the past for she recognized the weapon as the Kampfmesser 42 which served as the dual purpose fighting knife and bayonet of the Wehrmacht and Waffen-SS all through World War II.

This was all the time she had for reflection as Maritta with shocking agility kicks out her left leg and 99 had to bring the Thompson down to block the slashing foot and protect her ribs. Instantly Maritta slashed down again and 99 took a step back and felt her boot touch the west wall and managed to catch the blade for a 7th time on the receiver but this time turned the Thompson vertically to the right and push the knife aside. Maritta twisted to her left with the momentum giving 99 the time to side step a few times to her own left as she moved past the KAOS agent to prevent herself from being backed up against the west wall. Maritta was back in an instant attacking, her arm slashing downwards again and again in a blur. 99 blocked the downward slashing Kampfmesser 42's blade repeatedly on the receiver, careful not to let the blade strike her fingers as she kept backing away towards the kitchen door, past the staircase with 34 still lying motionless on it.

99 back pedaled quickly, her kidskin boots kicking up wooden fragments and armchair stuffing as she tried to reach the door to the kitchen on the left of the chimney breast but Maritta must have guessed her intent. The elderly spy hacked viciously 5-6 times with the Kampfmesser 42, sending sparks flying from the severely nicked receiver, each strike producing a soft whipping sound in the air due to the speed. Her shawl shrouding her shoulders and arms almost made 99 miss the shift in trajectory of Maritta's hand on the 7th hack as it suddenly changed into an underhanded thrust at her ribs. Pain blasting in her ribs at the effort, 99 yanked the Thompson down to block. Maritta's blade just barely touched the Thompson but instead, her right foot swung up and struck the lowered submachine gun with a force that threw 99's arms up and tore the weapon from her gloved hands.

As the Thompson flew into the air, arching behind her, 99 devoid of her parrying weapon barely twisted her upper body on time, pain shooting in her ribcage to avoid the down slashing blade again which swiped downwards through the space where her right shoulder had been a millisecond ago. Maritta charged forward making 99 back away now in the direction of the chimney breast and her arm swept in a whistling backhand. 99 leaned back but not far enough as she heard again the sharp tearing of fabric, this time accompanied by a searing sharp pain tearing a yelp of agony from her.

99 staggered back, her boots crunching over broken wood fragments as she noticed another horizontal slit, this time on the blouse portion of her brown dress, just beneath her breasts and she saw the red line on her firm skin beneath seeping blood which trickled down her flat stomach and turning the dress a darker color.

Arnheiter's eyes glittered with cold predatory intensity as he kept Max pinned against the dented control panel at the west wall while Hensel continued to work feverishly at the controls of the shortwave. Max pushed at the KAOS agent but realized Arhheiter had too much leverage. So, Max thrusted his right arm straight up inside of Arnheiter's left wrist and brought it down sharply, landing a knife hand strike on the KAOS agent's left bicep.

Arnheiter cursed his numbing arm dropping and Max pushed forward and delivered a right cross that twisted the enemy agent's head to the right and sent him wheeling, breaking his hold on the CONTROL agent. Max followed with a left cross that sent Arnheiter flailing to his left back to the shortwave equipment till he slammed into the west console on the base cylinder causing it to explode slightly, sparks flying along with the billowing smoke.

Riehm on the floor began to stir trying to push himself up, flexing his head at the agony in the back of his neck.

Max charged in grabbing Arnheiter by his black vest only to have the KAOS agent's arms sweep up, knocking his hands off. Arnheiter's right smashed across Max's jaw followed by a left cross that partially bent the CONTROL agent sideways. The KAOS agent grabbed Max by the shoulder and his knee came up into his ribs. Max doubled in pain but managed to charge forward slamming his shoulder into Arnheiter's ribs and ran pushing him back till his opponent slammed again into the damaged console.

Max straightened and threw a right cross that Arnheiter blocked on his left forearm and hooked a right into Max's solar plexus. Max staggered slightly and Arnheiter's right to his jaw next dropped him to one knee. Arnheiter's knife hand whistled down towards his neck but Max reached up block it and drove his right into Arnheiter's ribs staggering him standing and right hooking him in the jaw, snapping his head back. As Arnheiter staggered arms flailing, Max grabbed his vest, yanking him back. Arnheiter again struck Max's hands off and launched a right cross which Max blocked successfully on his left forearm and right hand punched the KAOS man cross the jaw. As Arnheiter swayed from the punch, Max hooked a left into his solar plexus doubling him over, slammed a knife hand strike down on the base of his lowered neck and brought his knee up into his face. The mustached KAOS agent flipped back up and over, dropping to the concrete floor on his back in an unmoving heap.

Max turned seeing Hensel still working on the console. He realized now the low constant hum in the basement must be some form of highly effective hidden ventilation fans as the smoke was clearing quickly. A quick look found Arnheiter's fallen Walther P38 on the floor and he swept it up and dashed over to the young KAOS agent.

"Alright! Hands off the controls!" Max snapped as he reached his quarry.

Hensel immediately sat up straight, snapping up both his hands, eyes wide behind his round spectacles. But a movement to his left caught Max's attention and he saw Riehm crouched next to his unconscious leader, yanking the Luger P08 out from the Oberführer's holster.

The angular jawed KAOS agent whipped up the Luger P08 but Max turned and fired the P38 at hip level twice. Riehm's upper body was flung back as the 9mm rounds struck his chest, exiting in crimson fountains out his back before he struck the floor. Max turned back to Hensel only to have the young man turn his swivel chair and swing his right leg in an arc and knock the P38 from his hand with an outside crescent kick.

Max had no time to retrieve the weapon for Hensel's right hand was already coming out of his vest with his own Walther P38. The CONTROL agent lunged forward grabbing Hensel's gun wrist and wrapping his other arm around the man's neck in chokehold. As they struggled, Max yanked Hensel's gun hand down, slamming the KAOS agent's gun fist into the control panel on the base cylinder. Hensel's hand popped open sending the P38 flying away and Max kept hold dragging the struggling KAOS agent away from the control.

As Max tightened his chokehold, Hensel with surprising strength, stiffened this right arm and despite Max holding onto his right wrist, pulled his arm back down, slamming his elbow into the CONTROL agent's ribs. Max shook, his chokehold loosening and another elbow strike to his ribs made him loose his grip on the KAOS agent's wrist. Hensel lifted his left foot up and stomped his boot heel down onto Max's left socked feet. Max's eyes popped in agony as the boot heel mashed into his unprotected toes and metatarsals. Hensel's left elbow slammed into his ribs knocking him off completely sending him reeling.

As Max caught his balance and hopped on his right shoe clutching his left socked foot, Hensel stalked towards him. Max grimaced, shaking his head and whined.

"Now that's just playing dirty!"

Maritta's Kampfmesser 42 continued flashing through the air in horizontal and vertical slashes and 99 fought the sharp pain that gripped her with her every twist and jerk she made to avoid the 9 inch blade as their struggle continued now in front of the chimney breast.

99 was continually stunned at the speed and ferocity that the elderly spy moved and worst, realized that she herself was moving slower than she usually did, due to the stabbing pain in her ribs and the burning cut across her midriff. Her brown dress over her ribs were soaked in her blood becoming black and she could feel the warm dampness seeping downwards soaking the waist of her skirt. She jerked back as the blade flashed at her throat, ducked as it returned in a back hand only to have Maritta slashed down diagonally forcing her to twist her upper body again, leaning her head back, pain lancing in her ribs as the blade cleaved the air in front of her just brushing her breasts.

Maritta continued again with a backhand, turning to face 99 as the young agent leaned back again with visible agony and a few inches of the buttoned down scarf on her dress flew off, sliced cleanly and opening up another short horizontal slit in her dress where the scarf had been, revealing her left bra cup.

99 crossed her forearms just time to block a round kick at her ribs from Maritta's left leg and the Kampfmesser 42 slashed downwards while she was bent forward on the block. The CONTROL agent jerked backwards still with impressive speed arms out to the sides, the tip of the spear point blade just missing shoulder and curve of her breast.

Maritta however smiled coldly at the pained expression that locked on the young girl's face and skipped forward whipping her arm back, blade whistling in a back hand at her throat. 99 grimacing in pain did not jerk back but stepped forward blocking the slashing knife hand on her forearm, grabbing the wrist before slamming her left forearm into the back of Maritta's fully extended elbow.

Maritta snarled at the pain as her hand popped open dropping the knife but 99's eyes widened in shock as the former Amt VI agent's left hand swept in to catch hold of the falling Kampfmesser 42 in an underhanded grip. 99 was forced to release Maritta's arm and lean back as the knife came sweeping across again just missing her ribs. Turning slightly with her underhanded swing of the blade, Maritta lashed out with a side kick and 99 cried out as the KAOS agent's clunky shoe slammed into her injured ribs.

99 staggered back further along the northern wall, chimney breast on her right and realized she could not straighten. Maritta danced forward, and her visage chillingly transforms back into the sweet old lady they first saw along with her accent and quavering voice despite the knife in her hand with the 9 inch blade dripping with 99's blood.

"Now, now my dear. I know how much you've been hurting. Don't worry! Come now and let Mary make it stop forever."

And her face transformed back into the cold, emotionless mask with the chilling smile as she charged in thrusting her right foot out in a front kick as she tossed the Kampfmesser 42 back into her right hand. 99 forced herself to respond blocking the kick and the impact on her forearms jarred her to her shoulders and something moved in her ribcage which shouldn't. Maritta slashed horizontally at head level with the knife in her right hand now again in an overhand grip. 99 ducked and as the fighting knife whipped back in a back hand, she jerked her head back and the tip of the blade sliced through her bangs sending dozens of raven strands fluttering into the air and falling like dark snow.

99 drew in a deep breath pushing away the grating pain in her ribs and the burn across her midsection and stepped in. Maritta thrusted with the knife, arm extending and contracting like a striking snake and 99 twisted and knocked aside the arrowing blade with knife hand blocks against the KAOS agent's forearm a few times to the right and left.

As Maritta found her 4th thrust knocked aside to the right by a knife hand on the inside of her forearm, she switched to a forehand slash, stepping in as she did. 99 jerked her head back again, turning to the right and felt a cold kiss of the spear point tip against her neck followed immediately by a burning pain and warm dampness pouring over her skin to soak into the round collar of her brown dress and the attached scarp. But she ignored it to turn her body sideways counter clockwise, putting the chimney breast just 2 feet from her back, just as Maritta's sidekick thrusted in again, the toe of her clunky shoe brushing past her abdomen just missing its target. Maritta did not stop, bringing the knife back again in a backhand but this time, 99 was close enough to catch her slashing forearm and pushed at her backing her a few steps crunching steps over the wooden shard strewn floor, keeping her knife arm bent.

Before Maritta's left could hook a punch to the ribs, 99 stepped back slightly to the left side holding Maritta's right forearm in her left hand and brought her gloved right fist down in a hammer blow to the back of Maritta's clenched knife hand, popping it open.

Again as the knife fell, Maritta's left hand swept low catching the Kampfmesser 42 in a reverse grip and 99 lashes out with her right go-go boot, kicking the inside of the KAOS agent's forearm sending the weapon flying towards the west wall.

A blood curling snarl emitted from Maritta's throat as she swept her empty left hand up between them knocking away 99's grip on her right arm. 99 blocked a right knife hand strike to her neck and ducked under a left cross only to come up to see Maritta's fists shooting in one after another in rocket straight punches to her face.

99 braced herself against the increasing agony in her side as she weaved left and right avoiding the punches, her shoulder length bob flying with her movement. As Maritta's 4th left hand punch shot in, she dodged to her right, knocking it aside with a left knifehand block and the KAOS agent leaned back and delivered a whipping right legged low round house kick. 99 luckily managed to lift her left leg absorbing the impact against the side of her bent knee and Maritta lunged forward while the young woman was off balance, with a right fist.

99 just barely threw her head to the left and as Maritta's fist shot past her ear, brought up her right had to grab the former Amt VI operative's wrist while her left arm thrusted in under her enemy's extended right arm to clamp her hand onto the back of her neck.

Before Maritta could even snarl, 99 pulled on her wrist and hauled on the back of her neck at the same time turning clockwise forcing the KAOS agent to run with her head bent slightly under her control. 99 grunted against the pain in her side as she kept turning and pulling Maritta along, making her run in a circle with increasing speed and momentum. Upon completing the second round, as Maritta snarled viciously in her grip, and as they came to face he chimney breast again, 99 redirected her, yanking her arm past her outwards and shoving at the back of her neck to launch her at the wall, just before releasing her.

Maritta was sent running straight with her head forward, out of control, arms flailing wildly and with the full force of the momentum that had been built up by the circling, slammed forehead first into the brick chimney breast with a loud sharp thud followed by the rest of her body. She appeared plastered to the chimney breast for a heartbeat before sliding slowly sideways, leaving a faint arcing blood trail on the chimney breast from her forehead like a compass inscribing a curve in the brick until she landed sideways with a loud frump on the floor in a grey heap.

99 staggered back and would have fallen if the sofa had not been there for her to lean on. Taking a moment to fight the agony and nausea that swept over her, she turned to see the Chief on his side trying to push himself up on an elbow and a groan came from 34 on the staircase. Then her own knees buckled and she dropped down onto the floor, legs folded beneath her holding onto the sofa's back.

Max blocked two snapping left legged round kicks from Hensel to his ribs before delivering a right cross to the young man's jaw, snapping his head around. He followed with a whipping left cross which Hensel ducked under tilted to his left swinging a high right legged round house kick. Max turned to the left to block the swinging shin on his forearms and Hensel followed with a left to the jaw but Max ducked this and then blocked a right punch from the KAOS agent before hooking a right cross to the stomach. But Hensel's left forearm swept down stiffly to block the low punch while he rotated his right arm swiftly out of Max's block and stars exploded in Max's vision as Hensel's right elbow slammed him in the jaw.

Max staggered back blinking to clear his head all the while hearing the transmission tone getting louder. Hensel charged in delivered a jumping round house kick with his left leg to the midsection but Max managed to block this and duck a left cross before bringing his right hand down in a knife hand strike to Hensel's left shoulder staggering him, enabling him to follow up with a left cross that spin the KAOS agent around.

But Hensel used his counter-clockwise spin to build up momentum and as he faced Max again, jumped, left leg coming up bent before shooting down and swinging up his right extended leg in a counter-clockwise arc. Max was fast enough to duck under the spinning inside crescent kick but as he straightened, he had no time to counter as Hensel was already facing him again and snapping out waist high left legged roundhouse kicks to his hip.

Max managed to block both kicks, his elbow and shoulder joints jarring with the impact and Hensel leaned further to the right to snap the third kick up to the head. Max again blocked it on his forearms staggering slightly. The fourth kick was low again and Max managed to absorb it once again on his forearms and Hensel without stopping jumped again, his knees cycling for a moment in mid-air before his left leg shot down and his right leg lashed out in a roundhouse kick that connected with Max's hip.

Max's eyes popped again and his cheeks puffed as the air was knocked from him while Hensel spun counter-clockwise, his vest turning into a flying black disc around him due to the speed and his body tilted slightly again to his left while his right leg swept up off the floor in a reverse roundhouse and the back of his boot heel slammed into the side of Max's head twisting the CONTROL agent to the left and dropping him face down to the floor.

Max, head spinning and feeling warm dampness flowing down the side of his head over his temple, rolled instinctively to put some distance between him and Hensel before pushing himself up to a crouch just as the KAOS man charged in kicking at his face. Max managed to dodge to the left and catch Hensel's slashing right boot and jumped up keeping hold of the leg and pushing at it. Hensel was thrown back, off his booted feet but his body arched backwards into a C shape to land in a handstand before flipping over back onto his feet only to have Max charge him. 86's right smashed across Hensel's jaw followed by a left that turned him around.

Hensel again used the momentum to spin counter-clockwise and faced Max again, swinging his right leg up in a high roundhouse kick. But Max lifted his arms and blocked the shin and foot, grabbing hold of it and pulling it down to his hip where he lifted his right to strike the leg. But before he could, Hensel's right fist swiped in hitting his jaw sending him reeling back.

Max blinked shaking his head and his vision cleared just as Hensel attacked with a left legged swinging front kick which he blocked only to have the KAOS agent yank his leg back and tilt his body to snap the leg out again up to the head. When Max blocked that too, Hensel jumped, again his knees cycling before his right leg lashed out in a roundhouse kick to the hip which was again blocked. Max stepped in to close the gap, fist raised and Hensel again spun counter-clockwise, vest flying with his speed and his right leg whipped upwards as he tilted his body in a reverse roundhouse kick. Max ducked feeling the boot heel whip the top of his hair but as he straightened, Hensel continued to spin again, dropping down into a crouch with no drop in speed and his right leg again extended, boot sweeping the floor to slam into Max's shoed and socked feet knocking them off the concrete into the air.

Max felt himself airborne for a moment before the concrete met him, jarring every bone in his body. He forced himself to sit up but Hensel was upon him, right foot lashing and snapping at him hitting his chest and face repeatedly. Max brought up his arms to take the impact of the lighting fast kicks that never ceased. The dull impact of the snapping front kicks on Max echoed through the entire basement. Again and again Hensel's shin and booted foot struck his raised forearms and head till Max realised he was going to pass out soon. As his face took another partially blocked kick, Max could not be sure but he thought he saw something he could use and as Hensel's shin pulled back for another kick, Max threw himself flat and rolled forward with all his might at Hensel's legs. This forced Hensel to dive forward over Max's rolling body. As Hensel hit the floor, neatly tucking in his shoulder and rolling his back to the floor, Max lunged towards von Graf's prone form and Riehm's body. Hensel on his feet again realised Max was going for the fallen Luger and dashed in. He kicked Max in the side rolling the CONTROL agent away from the weapon. As Max rolled over into the unconscious van Graf, Hensel swept up the fallen Luger only to have 86 whirled back to face him, swinging the Oberführer's black and silver baton in his right hand. The heavy ornate silver endcap struck Hensel's gun hand shattering metacarpal bones and he yelled out as the Luger went flying. Max in a crouch brought the baton down again and the endcap smashed into Hensel's left booted foot with such force that along with the audible crunch of shattering metatarsals, over a dozen of the brilliant, clear diamonds decorating the endcaps, broke loose in a glittering fountain before scattering over the dark concrete.

Hensel hollered, yanking up his left leg and hopped about on his right foot while clutching his right hand. Max stood and with a final tapping blow, struck Hensel on the back of the neck with the baton.

As Hensel's eyes rolled with hallucinatory birds chirping in his mind and flying in his vision and his head swayed from side to side, he remarked in a groggy voice.

"Vhat appen to playing nice?" before he fell backwards and hit the concrete with a loud clump.

"Sorry bout' that." Max said flicking the black and silver baton at the unconscious KAOS agent. "But as a representative of everything wholesome and good in this world, I am bound by solemn duty, irrevocable principals and uncompromising honor to fight for goodness, niceness and the lives of every man, woman and child by being the most irresponsible, dishonorable, unprincipled, cheater I can be!"

Again Max frowned as he finished his sentence, trying to comprehend what he just said and it was the transmission tone which called his attention back to the shortwave. Tossing aside the baton, Max ran over to the shortwave array, half-limping on his socked feet. He turned the switches and knobs quickly but it would not turn off. He looked at his watch and realized they were nearing the 3 minute mark of Hensel's declaration of the 4 minutes it would need for the transmission to be completed. Desperate, Max climbed up onto the base cylinder and grabbed the antenna yanking and pulling. But it was sturdy as a tree.

Looking about, Max finally saw his only chance. Leaping down to the floor, he ran and limped over to the staircase where Storch's body laid at the first step. He grabbed Storch's fallen MP40 which laid next to the spandrel and ran back to the shortwave equipment. Aiming the MP40 at the thinnest portion of the antenna he could find, Max jammed down on the trigger. The MP40 thundered endlessly and bullets pummeled the antenna rod repeatedly just a foot below the ceiling, sending sparks flying.

Von Graf finally regains consciousness groaning and shaking his head wondering why there was constant thunder in his ears. He pushed himself up on wobbly elbows, monocle dangling by its string from his leather tunic's lapel, to find all his men out of commission and the source of the thunder in his head—Smart blasting an MP40 at the antenna. Before he could react the antenna rod began exploding as the casing ruptured and the wires inside were sliced to shreds.

The Oberführer growled, gloved fist clenching but realized there was nothing to be done. Grabbing his baton, he rose and under the roar of the MP40 dashed back to the stairs, aching from every bone in his body. He dashed up the stairs towards the door at the top.

In the living room, 99 had managed to get over to the Chief and now knelt among the debris next to him supporting his head, an opened shoe phone on the floor among the furniture remnants. The pounding of heavy jackboots on stairs coming from the kitchen drew her from her concern for their superior. Laying the Chief's head back down carefully and looking about her frantically, she saw Granger's fallen snub-nosed revolver. She bit down on the pain coming from her body as she snatched it up and stumbled over to the door on the left of the chimney breast. But when she got to the door, it was all she could do to slump against the spandrel of the staircase just in time to see von Grav's black clad form disappear out the back kitchen door. She tries to run after him but only managed one step before the pain in her ribs buckled her knees again, sagging her to the floor against the spandrel. She took a few deep breaths to recover during which she heard the sound of a car engine and screeching of tires as a vehicle sped off. After that, she finally heard the machine gun fire emerging from the basement door.

In the basement, the antenna finally fractured under the pummel of the bullets and the broken portion fell back down from the chimney. Max stepped back as the dipole studded end came back down through the hole in the ceiling to crash down onto the cylinder base. Sparks blasted out from the devastated components. The transmission tone finally broke into static and faded away.

"Max! Max are you alright?"

Max turned at 99's voice. He ran back to the staircase to see her halfway down, holding onto the railing a snub-nosed revolver she must have gotten from one of the CONTROL agents in her hand.

"It's ok! I'm ok! Stay there 99!" Max said stepping over the Storch's body at the bottom of the stairs to run up to her.

99 slowly sank down to sit on the stairs leaning against the railing. As Max pounded up the stairs to her, she had just enough strength to spare for modesty and placed a hand over the cut in her dress over her bra cup while her other arm covered the horizontal slash on her skirt to hide her exposed thighs.

"My god Ninety-Nine!" Max exclaimed as he reached her, placing down the MP40 and removing his jacket to drape it over her shoulders. "Are you alright?"

99 nodded weakly as Max crouched on the steps next to her.

"The Chief and 34. They're hurt badly. I used the Chief's shoe phone to call an ambulance. More CONTROL agents will be here in a minute or two. Max! The transmission! Did you stop it?"

"All taken CARED of!" Max declared confidently with a sweep of his hand. "I destroyed the antenna right on time!"

99 gasped in pain and concern, her alluring eyes widening.

"Max! When did you stop it?"

"Just before you came down the stairs." Max confirmed "Hensel said it would take four minutes to transmit, I stopped it with a MINUTE to spare! Nothing, absolutely NOTHING went through to KAOS International!"

99's face remained concerned.

"Max! Hensel didn't mean the transmission would START in four minutes but it would take four minutes to COMPLETE the whole message! It was already transmitting for three minutes! They could have at least eighty to ninety percent of Project Phalanx!"

Max frowned at this latest revelation before saying with an air of misplaced confidence.

"Well we don't have to tell KAOS that!—" then looking up the stairs first to check if anyone is there, whispered to 99. "—And while we're on that subject, no sense in worrying anyone else about it either. ESPECIALLY anyone recently hit by say—a grenade."

99 sighed rolling her eyes to the right.

"Oh Maaaax!"


	9. Chapter 9 Max's Not So Intuitive Intuiti

**CHAPTER 9 Max's Not So Intuitive Intuitions**

The Chief's eyes opened to blinding light and he shut them again. His mind was chaotic with images of explosions and darting shadows he could not interpret. Lifting his hand slowly, he touched the thick bandage that wrapped his bald head.

A cool hand touched his forehead and a voice, velvety and soothing swirled in his ears, focusing his thoughts, pushing away confusion and dissipating the pounding in his head.

"Chief. You're in the hospital. You're going to be ok."

The Chief finally opened his eyes to the private room he had in the hospital and realized the white walls were brighter than the lights. He turned to his right slowly to see 99 in her green trench coat sitting in a chair next to his bed, one hand on his bandaged head, another holding his right hand.

"Ninety-Nine!" the Chief exclaimed weakly. "What happened to the transmission? Max?"

"The shortwave is crippled." 99 nodded, her large eyes reflecting the light from the ceiling in a soothing tone. "Max is supervising the clean-up. He should be along soon. Chief, the doctor's say you have a concussion from the grenade blast and a fractured clavicle. But you'll be ok in a week or two."

"What about you Ninety-Nine?" the Chief asked his expression never more fatherly as he noted the bandage on the left side of her neck.

"I'm fine." 99 nodded "Just some cuts. And I'm afraid that cracked rib has upgraded itself to broken so if you don't mind Chief, once we're done with the reports, I'm going to need a bit of a rest."

"You take ALL the time the doctors say and more if you need it!" the Chief nodded his bandaged head gingerly.

The door opened and Max stepped in, limping slightly with a flat rectangular, ribbon secured box in one hand. A long gash surrounded by purplish bruising stood out at the side of his head a few inches above his right temple, held together by 5 butterfly sutures while more bruises decorated his chin and cheek.

"Glad to see you up Chief!" Max announced.

"Max!" the Chief greeted surprised at how seeing 86 enabled him instinctively pull on his reserves of strength for whatever purpose. "What's the situation?"

"Right!" Max began. "Professor Carleton and his team have disassembled the entire shortwave array and they'll be bringing it all back to CONTROL's lab for a thorough analysis."

"Good." The Chief breathed with relief. "Hopefully he can figure out a way for us to better jam their shortwave in the future."

"He already had a good start." 99 added. "We didn't know it at the time but while we were trying to stop the KAOS agents in the house, the Professor at Max's car, managed to modify a KX-A1 to disrupt the signal sufficiently at close range, shortly after the KAOS agents started their transmission. So even though they transmitted practically all the schematics of Project Phalanx, all KAOS International got was eighty-five percent gibberish. Professor Carleton is the real hero today."

"Yes Chief." Max confirmed as the Chief's face lights up despite his paleness. "The parts that got through weren't vital components at all. Useless to KAOS."

"That's good! Good." The Chief nodded weakly but his expression turned grave again as he asked. "What about the men who were with me? Are they alright?"

Max grimaced shaking his head.

"I'm afraid Chief, 34 and you are the only ones that survived. 34's got a worse concussion than you and multiple fractures. He's gonna be laid up for at least three months but the doctors are sure he'll make a full recovery."

The Chief breathed out looking up at the ceiling for a moment to gather his strength before continuing.

"Let's hope we can learn enough from the shortwave equipment we got hold of to stop them for good. That way, it wouldn't have been for nothing! What about the KAOS agents?"

"The leader von Graf got away but we've got three of them in custody," Max reported "including Maritta Kleinheisterkamp or as I like to call her—TIGER Maritta!—" 86 walks over to 99 grimacing as he flexes and rubs his neck. "—That's the LAST time I ever let one of these sweet ol things get the drop on me!" Of course, he immediately frowns and tilts his head wondering if the blow to his head had affected the structure of that last thought.

"Sweet OL thing?" the Chief frowned. "So there WAS an old woman pointing a machine gun at me!"

"I'm afraid so Chief." 99 nodded.

"I thought that grenade had completely scrambled my brains!" the Chief exclaimed but calming himself down he continued. "Alright, alright. Despite the terrible casualties, at least, we've stopped KAOS's radio station.—" He looks at them both with his fatherly expression again. "—Now, I want you two to get your reports done and take a few days off. Ninety-Nine, lots more days for you!"

"Before we do that Chief." Max said slightly sheepish. "I have something to tell you."

"Being hit by a grenade just doesn't' get you the breaks it used it." The Chief said closing his eyes and squeezing the bridge of his nose. "Okay Max, what is it?"

"Well you see Chief," Max began. "It's like this. During the surveillance on Krycek, I didn't plan adequately for back up personnel as you told me to. And when some of the agents were called away on emergencies, I didn't want you balling me out so I got 99 to cover for me for over three shifts straight, including mine cause I didn't' wanna call off my date. Sorry bout' that Chief."

The Chief found enough strength to shake his head disapprovingly despite the clanging that the action caused making the inside of his cranium sound like the Notre-Dame de Paris when its bells were tolling.

"Well Max," the Chief said. "I was just hit by a grenade and you did help find and stop the KAOS' radio base so we'll forgo the yelling—" he raised his hand gesturing to 99. "—but you owe 99 an apology!"

99 smiled demurring, shaking her head and raised a hand but 86 was already turning to face her.

"The Chief is absolutely right Ninety-Nine! So here goes." Max declared formally and standing straight. "Ninety-Nine, due to my over sight, the surveillance was a near disaster and it was your sacrifice that held it together. You bailed me out of a tough spot. And I DID promise you that I would come early to take over from you but I didn't keep that promise. It was inconsiderate, unprofessional and selfish of me. And for that Ninety-Nine, I'm sorry."

99 smiled nodding, the pain of her bandaged wounds and broken rib already fading as she took in his words and the sincerity in his voice and expression.

"Thank you Max. I accept your apology."

"I'm not done yet." Max declared and handed the box to 99. "As a token of my gratitude, I bought you something."

99's eyes lit up so bright they could have passed for stars in a night sky, brighter than the big dipper.

"Oh Max! For me?!" she gushed taking the box with trembling hands.

"That's right!" Max nodded "It's a dress!"

99 gasped, the pain in her ribs forgotten at this gesture of affection and intimacy.

"That's very nice of you Max." the Chief agreed.

"Oh Max!" 99 breathed lifting the cover and carefully pulling aside the wax paper inner wrapping. "I don't know what to say! This is so wonder…"

She stopped as her eyes fell on the garment inside and her soft eyebrows as delicate as melting snow flakes frowned as she looked at the neatly folded—brown dress with attached, buttoned down scarf on the left shoulder.

"Max?" 99 inquired

"Do you like it?"

"Well…" 99 struggled to find the words as her pain was suddenly back. "…Max. It…It's exactly the same dress I have on…today. Now."

"That's right!" Max declared smiling brightly at his genius. "I mean the one you got is all cut up and all that blood. The last thing you should have to do is sew it up or have to wash it after all you've done. You deserve a brand NEW one! I went to FIFTY different stores just da locate an identical one just for you! Would ja' believe it? FIFTY stores!"

As the Chief closed his eyes and shook his head, 99 took in a long deep breath before looking up from the box and saying.

"Yes Max. I believe you."

Max arched his eyebrows as his jaw went slack asking.

"Eeeeh…you do?"

And pulling up whatever reserves of energy she had left, she put on a smile, surprising herself that she actually meant it.

"Yes Max. I do. Thank you very much. I do like this dress."

"Alright, you two." The Chief shooed at them weakly with his hand. "Reports, then home and rest! Go!"

"Right Chief." Max nodded as 99 stood slowly holding her side.

"I should be ok in a week or two Chief." 99 laughed gently as she added. "The doctor recommended two full weeks of complete bed rest but I'd go crazy! He says I can be back at work in one week if I don't intend to rock climb, dance ballet, water ski or ride horses!"

"Well you can rest assured Ninety-Nine!" Max declared confidently pulling open his suit jacket to hook his thumbs into his vest pockets. "With the highly attuned intuition and keen eagle senses of Maxwell Smart at our disposal, I can GUARANTEE—that no situation or scenario will EVERARISE in the next few weeks that will require rock climbing, dancing or horseback riding!—Water skiing however…" Max lifts up a hand palm down and flips it side to side.

99 and the Chief looks at Max for a moment before she turns to the Chief who nods in full agreement as she declares.

"I'll take the two weeks bed rest."

THE END

Written by

 **Resurgent** **-class**

 **My thanks to everyone who managed to read through the entire story! Hope you've all enjoyed it and if so, I hope I have a chance to write more. Do review so I can improve if given the chance! And now…**

 **Some Trivia (For those interested and still awake at this point!)**

The T-37 Wrist Communicator and Max's shoe heel smoke pellet were both first featured in Season 1, episode 2, Diplomat's Daughter.

Agent 58 refers to the Agent 58 in Season 2, episode 7, The Decoy (the first one with 4 children lol)

Agent 51 is the same Agent 51 killed by a knife in the back while dressed as a gorilla in Season 2, episode 10, The Greatest Spy on Earth. Hence his line in this fanfic, of possibly dying with a knife in his back dressed as a gorilla foreshadows his sad demise. (Spoiler alert: Does not bode well for his relationship with Agent 45.)

Agent 71 refers to the mentioned Agent 71 laid off in Season 4, episode 9, The Day They Raided the Knights.

Agent 45, the African-American female agent assisting Max along with the abovementioned CONTROL agents – Spoiler alert in case I never get the chance to write anymore. There is no Agent 45 in the Get Smart series, far as I can tell. But 45 is not my creation. She is actually, Agent 49, from Season 4, episode 7, A Tail of Two Tails, the agent undercover as a beautician/hairdresser who was helping 99 with her hair and later hands her the comb phone. However, there were 2 agent 49s featured in the Get Smart series and to maintain continuity with the series for the fanfic, I cannot at this stage refer to her as 49 yet. If I am able to write more fanfics, a simple explanation will show how she transitions from 45 to 49. (Fans of Get Smart would have guessed already.)

The lawyer in Benny's Delicatessen threatens to use his influence to have the Chief reduced to an office janitor, foreshadowing Season 3, episode 5, Maxwell Smart, Private Eye in which due to budget cuts, the Chief was indeed forced to work as a night janitor cleaning offices.

The Chief mentions one of KAOS' smuggling operations involving Bowers Department Store which was the plot of Season 1, episode 4, Our Man in Toyland.

In the lab scene, Professor Carleton warns Max not to stamp his foot down again as it would trigger the smoke pellet in the heel compartment which was what Max did in Diplomat's Daughter.

The unseen Verena is described as a 5ft 4" blonde with blue eyes. As late as Season 3, episode 16, The Little Black Book (Part 1) this is still Max's preferred parameters for a date less 2 inches in height.

Maritta states she recognized Max from the secret agent fan magazine Popular Espionage where he was featured as Spy of The Year. The magazine is featured in Season 2, episode 19, The Mummy where Max is recognized in the same way by KAOS agent Lisa Smith while Max's first Spy of the Year Award was mentioned in Season 2, episode 14, The Whole Tooth And…

The KAOS leader Oberführer von Graf makes references to the British spy who infiltrated the Japanese High Command and ordered the attack on Pearl Harbour. This is featured in Season 2, episode 8, Hoo Done It.

In the last scene, Max swears never to be taken in by a sneak attack from a harmless looking older person, foreshadowing him doing exactly that later in Season 1, episode 21, Dear Diary where retired security agent Agnes Davenport knocks him out with a karate chop as well.

Max nicknames Maritta, 'Tiger Maritta'. In Season 1, episode 21, Dear Diary, he also calls Agnes Davenport, 'Tiger' due to her ferocity in knocking him out with one blow.

Max believes that in the future, there will be no situation arising that will require them to climb mountains, ride horses, dance or water ski. This foreshadows the next episode that occurs in the series, Washington 4, Indians 3 where both he and 99 does ride horses to get to the Native American reservation. And about 4 episodes later in Our Man in Leotards, 99 goes undercover as a ballet dancer at the Pinerovian Embassy.

99's hair, brown dress with the attached scarf and lavender blue trench coat (hopefully I described them accurately) refers to her hairstyle and wardrobe as seen in KAOS in CONTROL which occurs 2 episodes later in the series. This outfit was chosen as I personally found it very attractive on 99 and also because the loose flare skirt of the dress provides uninhibited mobility for the fight scenes in the fanfic. I added gloves and boots instead of the pointed tip shoes seen in KAOS in CONTROL for added practicality.


End file.
